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Talk:Charles Martel-class ironclad/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Eddie891 (talk · contribs) 01:40, 4 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

comments

[edit]

Feel free to disagree with any comments you dislike... some more to come tomorrow

  • "class of ironclad barbette ship" -> "class of ironclad barbette ships"?
    • Fixed
  • "In the aftermath of the Franco-Prussian War of 1870–1871" -> "After the Franco-Prussian War of 1870-1871"?
    • Done
  • "though by 1877" -> "but by 1877"
    • Done
  • "to design a response" -> "to respond"?
    • Works for me
  • "100-guns" Perhaps you mean "100-ton guns"? otherwise it would be apt to remove the hyphen
    • Fixed
  • "the very large guns" -> "large guns"
    • The ships in question still carried large-caliber guns, just not the monstrosities that had been in vogue in many European navies in the late 1870s
  • "which was to have comprised four ships" I'm confused: wasn't the class originally supposed to have four ships?
    • That was the original plan, yes - I've added a bit that hopefully clarifies things
  • "the plans proved to be unfeasible" in what way? I don't know if this needs to be added, I would just like to know
    • I've clarified it a bit, see if that works for you
  • "the Marceaus and Hoche" were these both ship classes? maybe rephrase as "the Hoche and the remaining Marceaus" to clarify that Hoche was a ship and Marceau was the class?
    • How about just inserting "three" before "Marceaus"?
  • "en echelon" needs {{lang}} if it's not english, and perhaps a link or something for those of us less linguistically inclined.
    • Added a link
  • "called for a ship modeled" -> "proposed a"?
    • Done
  • "According to John Jordan and Philip Caresse" add a qualifier to explain why their opinions matter (like 'historians' or 'professional skiers')
    • Done - unfortunately, I don't know how well they ski ;)
  • "as immediately suspending work on the new ships" perhaps clarify that this was in January 1886 and not before he became minister (for all we know he could have been minister of ship construction approval right before)
    • Added "upon becoming the naval minister"
  • "completed by that point" by what point?
    • Clarified
  • "future shape of the French fleet" perhaps -> "future of the French fleet"? shape here strikes me as a bit awkward
    • How about "composition" instead?
  • "Again, there is some confusion as to the ship's fate" -> "There is some confusion as to the ship's fate"
    • Done
  • also maybe clarify which ship you are referring to (the Brennus battleship or Brennus ironclad)
    • Well, that's the issue - there is some belief that the two were the same ship
  • "stated more plainly, instructing readers to " -> "instructed readers to"?
    • Both should be present tense, actually
  • "340mm guns" use {{convert}}
    • That's converted earlier, in the development section
  • "unlike all previous French ironclads" -> "unlike previous French ironclads"?
    • Done

That's it from me. Overall, very nice work. Eddie891 Talk Work 21:37, 4 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks Eddie. Parsecboy (talk) 14:08, 9 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Parsecboy, Looks good to me! Prose is good, reasonably comprehensive, no copyvio, as far as I can tell referencing is good, well-illustrated, and the images look fine to me. Happy to promote. Good work! Eddie891 Talk Work 17:00, 9 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
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