Talk:Bubble Butt/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Cartoon network freak (talk · contribs) 06:12, 14 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Should arrive in near future. Cartoon network freak (talk) 06:12, 14 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Review coming tomorrow or next week... Cartoon network freak (talk) 22:57, 20 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

Link "digital download" to its article on Wikipedia
The track features three American artists: singer-songwriter Bruno Mars, and rappers Tyga and Mystic → you can simplify this sentence: "The track features American singer-songwriter Bruno Mars, and rappers Tyga and Mystic." (It is clear that all of them are from the US)
Musically, it is an electronic dance music (EDM) → Unlink "electronic dance music", as already linked before, and remove "(EDM)" as it's unneeded here
and dancehall track and lyrically an anthem to twerking and showing off girls' giant butts. → and dancehall track with lyrics implying that girls twerk and show off their giant buttocks.
while reaching number 8 → numbers above 11 should be written out
Link "Dance Club Songs"
It depicts three young girls → I would say "women" sounds more encyclopedic
and inflates the girls' butts → and inflates their buttocks
Major Lazer played the song several times → Unlink, as already mentioned before
their first hits compilation → their first greatest hits compilation

The first and third request contraindicate themselves. You want me to add something that is already linked on the infobox, however, you also want me to remove something that is also linked in the infobox. This needs to be more concise. Either link both or unlink both. From my perspective, I should link both. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 23:47, 2 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]

You can link something in the infobox and in the lead, but you can't link something twice in the lead. I've unlinked that now by myself. Cartoon network freak (talk) 09:32, 3 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox

Image needs ALT text
Mystic has released the single "OK... Alright" in 2006 before "Bubble Butt"

Done

Background and production

he and Bruno Mars were working on something → he and Bruno Mars were working on material
The original version leaked → The original version was leaked
The song was produced by Major Lazer → Production was handled by Major Lazer (to avoid a repetition of words)
verses written and performed by rapper 2 Chainz → We already know he's a rapper, so you can remove that word

Done

Release and live performances

Link "digital download"
On December 11, 2013, Warner released the song on Italian contemporary hit radio → On December 11, 2013, Warner sent the song to Italian contemporary hit radio
In 2018, the song was included in their first hits compilation → In 2018, "Bubble Butt" was included in their first greatest hits compilation
When the track was played, girls from the audience → Use "women"

Done

Composition

It is a "swaggering" and energetic song → change "song" to "number" to avoid word repetition
and bubble-poppin' sound effects → and bubble-popping sound effects
"ass-shaking" and big butts → "ass-shaking" and big buttocks
The combination of award-winning lyricists and catchy beat made for what is regarded as a dance-floor hit → You need to either rewrite or remove this sentence. As it stands now, it sounds very much like fancruft, which is not allowed on Wikipedia

Done

Critical reception

"Allmusic" should be AllMusic
HuffPost said "is a bizarre → HuffPost said it "is a bizarre
called the original song "addictive", while also praising the remix that included 2 Chainz verse, and stating the track would be heavily played in clubs → called the original song "addictive", while also praising the remix that included 2 Chainz's [UNLINK] verse, and predicted the track to be heavily played in clubs
album". It features a "minimal hip-hop bounce → album", and noting that it features a "minimal hip-hop bounce
Lucy Jones found the song to be the most annoying on the album, as it repeats the chorus an endless number of times with no deeper meaning in its lyrics → Lucy Jones found the song to be the worst on the album, as it repeats the chorus several times and has shallow lyrics
on several best songs of the year lists → on several best-songs-of-the-year-lists
Unlink "Rolling Stone", as already mentioned before
PopMatters's Ryan Lathan ranked the song as the ninth best dance → PopMatters's Ryan Lathan ranked the song as the ninth-best dance
The single was one of the Spin's 40th Best Songs → Remove the 2nd "the"
called it a hidden "gem" on Major Lazer's album. Sargent continued "a flagrantly fun → called it a hidden "gem" on Major Lazer's album, continuing by labelling it "a flagrantly fun

Done

Commercial performance

I've edited this section by myself

Music video

The music video was directed by → To not start that abruptly, please begin: "An accompanying music video for 'Bubble Butt'..."
Copy-edited the rest by myself

Done

Outcome

On hold — The article looks good overall, but has some issues that need to be fixed. These are my first comments and we'll see after you've solved them. Best regards; Cartoon network freak (talk) 23:30, 2 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Cartoon network freak: I've addressed your comments and raised one question regarding the lead. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 00:13, 3 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@MarioSoulTruthFan: After I've made one further, I believe the article is ready for promotion, as it is well-written and well-sourced. Congratulations! Just in case you have time, would you mind reviewing one of my GANs? I have many of them and I'm waiting for months now. Thank you and best regards; Cartoon network freak (talk) 09:37, 3 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.