Talk:Bob McDonald (businessman)/Archive 1

Archive 1

Archive 2

Untitled

Anybody laugh a bit when they read 'He has committed to build P&G’s business by touching and improving more consumers’ lives in more parts of the world… more completely'. Advertising or what? —Preceding unsigned comment added by 82.7.33.84 (talk) 12:30, 3 July 2010 (UTC)

Yuppers! It is either a blatant copyvio or advertising, and it comes straight from their website. I'll try to fix the most obvious problems now. An Editor With a Self-Referential Name (talk) 20:27, 6 July 2011 (UTC)

Political Affiliation

I removed the "Political Affiliation" section listing Robert McDonald as a Democrat. If anything, Mr. McDonald is known as a heavy contributor to Republicans, including to 2012 Presidential Nominee Mitt Romney, House of Representative Speaker Boehner and Senator Portland. See: http://www.nytimes.com/2014/06/30/us/bob-mcdonald-veterans-affairs-obama.html and http://www.cincinnati.com/story/opinion/editorials/2014/07/21/editorial-senators-embrace-bob-mcdonald/12979023/ 209.29.21.196 (talk) 22:54, 29 July 2014 (UTC)

Proposed change of political party - please change from |party = Republican to |party = Independent

Tsmith47 (talk) 14:20, 7 February 2019 (UTC)

Some proposed changes

Information to be added or removed: New citation to be added for board position at Xerox under Personal Life
Explanation of issue: new citation request
References supporting change: https://www.xerox.com/about-xerox/executive-leadership/board-of-directors/robert-mcdonald/enus.html

Information to be added or removed: New citation to be added for board position at McKinsey Advisory Council under Personal Life
Explanation of issue: new citation request
References supporting change: https://www.thayerleaderdevelopment.com/people/board/bob-mcdonald

Tsmith47 (talk) 22:43, 22 October 2018 (UTC)

Reply 22-OCT-2018

  Edit request implemented  

•  Additional changes made: A paragraph of text was removed from the article, as it was insufficiently paraphrased from the source material. The text in question was taken from this fact sheet dated June 2015 prepared by the VA. On or about the same month of June 2015, this edit by the editor Be4sun added the paragraph to the article. Added text should be written using an editor's own words and using an editor's own phrasing, per WP:CLOSEPARAPHRASE.
• The names and professions of the subject's adult children were omitted, per WP:BLPNAMES.

Regards,  Spintendo  04:29, 23 October 2018 (UTC)

Some proposed changes

   Information to be added or removed: Remove - He graduated from the U.S. Military Academy at West Point in 1975 with a Bachelor of Science degree in Engineering.  Add - He graduated from the U.S. Military Academy at West Point in 1975 in the top 2% of his class with a Bachelor of Science degree in Engineering. 
   Explanation of issue: Update to second sentence of Early life and education with additional content referencing top 2% of class
   References supporting change: https://www.usma.edu/mclc/siteassets/sitepages/mclc_2012/mr.%20bob%20mcdonald%20bio.pdf

   Information to be added or removed: Remove - At West Point he served as the Brigade Adjutant for the Corps of Cadets and was awarded the Silver Medal from the Royal Society for the Encouragement of Arts, Manufacturing and Commerce.  Add - At West Point he served as the Brigade Adjutant for the Corps of Cadets and was awarded the Silver Medal from the Royal Society for the Encouragement of Arts, Manufacturing and Commerce as the most distinguished graduate in academics, leadership, and physical education. 
   Explanation of issue: Update to the third sentence of Early life and education with expanded description of award won
   References supporting change: none provided

   Information to be added or removed: Remove - After graduation, he served in the U.S. Army for five years, primarily in the 82 Airborne Division, attaining the rank of Captain, and earned an MBA from the University of Utah in 1978.  Add - After graduation, he served in the U.S. Army for five years, primarily in the 82nd Airborne Division where he earned the Ranger tab, the Expert Infantryman Badge, Senior Parachutist wings, and attained the rank of Captain.
   Explanation of issue: Update to the fourth sentence of Early life and education with additional content related to earned awards and attaining the rank of Captain. 
   References supporting change: https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/bob-mcdonald-former-pandg-chief-to-be-obamas-nominee-to-lead-veterans-affairs/2014/06/29/2fddd794-ffab-11e3-b8ff-89afd3fad6bd_story.html?noredirect=on&utm_term=.7bde22d86ea5

   Information to be added or removed: Remove - Upon leaving the military he received the Meritorious Service Medal.[5]  Add - Upon leaving the military he received the Meritorious Service Medal[5] and in 1978 earned an MBA from the University of Utah.
   Explanation of issue: Re-arrange the structure of the final sentence to Early life and education, and, provide a new citation for MBA from the University of Utah.
   References supporting change: https://www.deseretnews.com/article/705309818/University-of-Utah-grad-has-ambitious-plans-as-new-CEO-of-PG.html

Tsmith47 (talk) 19:24, 6 November 2018 (UTC)

Reply 07-NOV-2018

  Clarification needed  

• By definition, revisions take an already-existing sentence and change its wording. By labeling the changes as "Information to be added or removed" without specifying which outcome (add or remove) applies to which instance, the COI editor has introduced ambiguity to the equation. Please provide certainty by listing:

1. The sentence that is being revised (as it appears in its pre-revision state)
2. The sentence as it will appear (in its post-revision state)

When ready to proceed with the requested information, please alter the {{Request edit}} template's answer parameter to read from |ans=yes to |ans=no Regards,  Spintendo  09:15, 7 November 2018 (UTC)

Notes

Reply to edit request 15-NOV-2018

Below you will see where proposals from your request have been quoted with reviewer decisions and feedback inserted underneath, either accepting, declining or otherwise commenting upon your proposal(s). Please read the enclosed notes within the proposal review section below for information on each request.  Spintendo  13:14, 15 November 2018 (UTC)

Proposal review 15-NOV-2018

He graduated from the U.S. Military Academy at West Point in 1975 in the top 2% of his class with a Bachelor of Science degree in Engineering.  Declined. At West Point he served as the Brigade Adjutant for the Corps of Cadets and was awarded the Silver Medal from the Royal Society for the Encouragement of Arts, Manufacturing and Commerce as the most distinguished graduate in academics, leadership, and physical education.  Declined. After graduation, he served in the U.S. Army for five years, primarily in the 82nd Airborne Division where he earned the Ranger tab, the Expert Infantryman Badge, Senior Parachutist wings, and attained the rank of Captain.  Already done. Upon leaving the military he received the Meritorious Service Medal and in 1978 earned an MBA from the University of Utah.  Declined. ___________

Some proposed changes

McDonald is Chairman of the Board of RallyPoint Networks, Inc., a Board Member of Quotient Technology, a Board Member of the Institute For Veterans and Military Families, a Board Member of the Partnership for Public Service, a Board Member of the Association of Graduates of the United States Military Academy, and a Board Member of the McCormick Research.

Bob and his wife, Diane, are the founders of The McDonald Conference for Leaders of Character at West Pointand have funded the commission of a statue of General Grant on the Plain at West Point. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Tsmith47 (talk • contribs) 20:30, 1 February 2019 (UTC)

References

Reply 2-FEB-2019

Below you will see where proposals from your request have been quoted with reviewer decisions and feedback inserted underneath, either accepting, declining or otherwise commenting upon your proposal(s). Please read the enclosed notes within the proposal review section below for information on each request.  Spintendo  16:25, 2 February 2019 (UTC)

Proposal review 2-FEB-2019

McDonald is Chairman of the Board of RallyPoint Networks, Inc.  Partly-approved. a Board Member of Quotient Technology  Approved. a Board Member of the Institute For Veterans and Military Families Clarification needed. a Board Member of the Partnership for Public Service  Approved. a Board Member of the Association of Graduates of the United States Military Academy  Declined. a Board Member of the McCormick Research.  Declined. Bob and his wife, Diane, are the founders of The McDonald Conference for Leaders of Character at West Point  Declined. funded the commission of a statue of General Grant on the Plain at West Point Clarification needed. ___________

McDonald is a Board Member of RallyPoint Networks, Inc., a Board Member of Quotient Technology, a Board Member of the Institute For Veterans and Military Families, and a Board Member of the Partnership for Public Service.

Tsmith47 (talk) 19:30, 5 February 2019 (UTC)

Career - Some Proposed Changes

McDonald joined Procter & Gamble in 1980. He served as a brand manager for Tide from 1984–1986. In 1989 he transferred to Toronto to lead P&G's Canadian Laundry business, and moved to the Philippines as General Manager in 1991. In 1995 he became Vice President, Laundry & Cleaning Products Asia, and relocated to Japan. A year later in 1996, McDonald became President, Japan Operations, and in 1999, President, Northeast Asia. Two years later he moved to Brussels as President, Global Fabric Care and later President, Global Fabric & Home Care. He was appointed Vice Chairman, Global Operations in 2004 and appointed Chief Operating Officer in July 2007. McDonald became President and Chief Executive on July 1, 2009. He assumed the Chairman of the Board role January 1, 2010.

During his tenure, investors criticized McDonald for being too loyal to P&G traditions, being too slow to pursue layoffs and other cuts, and being unable to produce new product innovations, particularly compared to his predecessor and replacement A.G. Lafley. He resigned from P&G on June 30, 2013, following pressure from the company board and activist investors such as Bill Ackman; he was replaced by his predecessor A.G. Lafley, who returned from retirement.

Under McDonald's leadership, Procter & Gamble grew organic sales by an average of about 3% per year with core earnings per share up an average of about 4% and expanded its marketing footprint by adding nearly one billion people to its global customer base.

Procter & Gamble company stock price rose from $51.10 to $78.80 during his tenure as CEO – a 60 percent increase from 2009 to 2013 a 50% increase, trailing the 80% in the S&P 500 in the same period.

McDonald’s leadership style resulted in recognition for Procter & Gamble by both Chief Executive Magazine and The Hay Group as one of the best companies for leadership.

McDonald is on the boards of the following organizations:

Board member	RallyPoint
Board member	Quotient Technology
Board member	Partnership for Public Service

Tsmith47 (talk) 21:03, 19 February 2019 (UTC)

References

Reply 19-FEB-2019

  Edit request declined  

• Per WP:NOTCV.

Regards,  Spintendo  23:44, 19 February 2019 (UTC)

U.S. Secretary of Veterans Affairs - Some Proposed Changes

Extended content

Some Proposed Changes - Controversies On a February 15, 2015 airing of Meet the Press, McDonald stated that 60 Veterans Affairs employees had been fired because of the VA's wait time scandal. Later, he backtracked and clarified it was only eight employees that lost their jobs. As the second largest U.S. federal workforce, the VA experiences staff turnover. McDonald’s predecessor at the VA, Eric Shinseki, fired 2,247 people during fiscal year 2013 which was slightly higher than the rate of VA employees that had left or were terminated by McDonald as of February 20, 2015. Since the beginning of his term as Secretary of VA in August of 2014, McDonald replaced 14 of the top 17 leaders under the Veterans Choice Act that allows for the termination of VA executives for performance or misconduct. In 2016 McDonald sought more stringent firing rules under a massive Veterans reform proposal and received support for Senator Johnny Isaksen of Georgia who stated that in regards to VA employees he wanted McDonald to “hold them accountable”. On February 23, 2015, McDonald admitted he misspoke trying to engage a homeless veteran on January 30, 2015, about his serving in the U.S. Army Special Forces, a conversation that was recorded by a CBS television news crew accompanying him during a nationwide count of homeless veterans. "I have no excuse, I was not in the special forces" he told The Huffington Post, which first broke the story. The Huffington Post reported that "special operations forces" includes the Army Rangers and that McDonald "completed Army Ranger training and took courses in jungle, arctic and desert warfare. He qualified as a senior parachutist and airborne jumpmaster, and was assigned to the 82nd Airborne Division until he resigned his commission in 1980. While he earned a Ranger tab designating him as a graduate of Ranger School, he never served in a Ranger battalion or any other special operations unit." McDonald rose to the rank of Captain in the 82nd Airborne Division until he resigned his commission in 1980 to pursue a career in the private sector at Procter & Gamble Company. On May 23, 2016, Secretary McDonald stated that Disney does not measure wait times at its amusement parks, arguing that VA wait times are not an important measure. This statement was viewed as both insensitive to patients and incorrect, as Disney does measure wait times. Speaker of the House Paul Ryan criticized McDonald's comments on Twitter and in a blog post, saying, "This is not make-believe, Mr. Secretary. Veterans have died waiting in those lines." He apologized the next day. On November 6, 2014, McDonald was quoted as saying “changing culture is one of the most important things a leader can do” in reference to visiting 41 different VA facilities to evaluate needed areas of change that included one facility in Phoenix, AZ whose wait times had already been decrease by 37%.Tsmith47 (talk) 15:06, 11 April 2019 (UTC) Tsmith47 References Personal Life - Some Proposed Changes Bob McDonald is the founder of the McDonald Conference for Leaders of Characterthat annually brings together exemplary students from universities such as Princeton, Georgia Tech, Wake Forest, Seton Hall, The University of Florida, Cornell University and others from around the globe with distinguished senior leaders to help bolster leadership skills, foster collaboration, and to develop strategies for addressing pressing global issues.Tsmith47 (talk) 15:06, 11 April 2019 (UTC) References

Tsmith47 (talk) 17:48, 3 April 2019 (UTC)

Reply 9-APR-2019

Extended content

Unable to review edit request   Your edit request could not be reviewed because the provided references are not formatted correctly. The citation style predominantly used by the Bob McDonald article is Citation Style 1 (CS1). The citation style used in the edit request consists of bare URL's. Any requested edit of yours which may be implemented will need to resemble the current style already in use in the article – in this case, CS1. (See WP:CITEVAR.) In the extended section below titled Citation style, I have illustrated two examples: one showing how the edit request was submitted, and another showing how requests should be submitted in the future: Citation style Bare URL reference formatting: The Sun's diameter is 864,337.3 miles, while the Moon's diameter is 2,159 miles. The Sun's temperature is 5,778 degrees Kelvin. References 1. https://www.booksource.com 2. http://www.journalsource.com 3. http://www.websource.com In the example above there are three URL's provided with the claim statements, but these URL's have not been placed using Citation Style 1, which is the style predominantly used by the Bob McDonald article. Using CS1, the WikiFormatted text should resemble the following: Citation Style 1 formatting: The Sun's diameter is 864,337.3 miles,<ref>{{cite book|last1=Sjöblad|first1=Tristan|title=The Sun|url=http://www.booksource.com|publisher=Academic Press|date=2018|page=1}}</ref> while the Moon's diameter is 2,159 miles.<ref>{{cite journal|last1=Harinath|first1=Paramjit|title=Size of the Moon|journal=Science|issue=78|volume=51|url=http://www.journalsource.com|date=2018|page=46}}</ref> The Sun's temperature is 5,778 degrees Kelvin.<ref>{{cite web|last1=Uemura|first1=Shu|title=The Sun's Heat|url=http://www.websource.com|publisher=Academic Press|date=2018|page=2}}</ref> Displays as: The Sun's diameter is 864,337.3 miles, while the Moon's diameter is 2,159 miles. The Sun's temperature is 5,778 degrees Kelvin. References In the example above the references have been formatted according to Citation Style 1, which shows the author, the source's name, date, etc., all information which is lost when only the links are provided. As Wikipedia is a volunteer project, larger edit requests such yours are generally expected to have this formatting done before the request is submitted for review. Please note that much of the information suggested to be added pertains to the VA, and not necessarily the subject himself. This information should not be included in the request. With regards to the remainder of the information directly pertinent to the subject, kindly rewrite your edit request so that it aligns more with the second example shown in the collapsed section above, and feel free to re-submit that edit request at your earliest convenience. If you have any questions about this formatting please don't hesitate to ask myself or another editor. Notes References

Regards,  Spintendo  14:44, 9 April 2019 (UTC)

Thank you for your work correcting the citation style. I will review this shortly.  Spintendo  18:00, 11 April 2019 (UTC)

Reply 11-APR-2019

  Edit request declined  

1. Items 2, 3, 4, and 8 are more apropos for the article on the VA.
2. Items 1, 5, and 7 per WP:NOTNEWS.
3. Item 6's reference is to a video, whereas the {{cite AV media}} template was not used. If that template is to be employed, it should include the |time index= parameter.

Regards,  Spintendo  21:52, 11 April 2019 (UTC)

Notes

Some Proposed Changes - Controversies

Controversies

Since the beginning of his term as Secretary of VA in August of 2014, McDonald replaced 14 of the top 17 leaders. McDonald’s predecessor at the VA, Eric Shinseki, fired 2,247 people during fiscal year 2013 which was slightly higher than the rate of VA employees that had left or were terminated by McDonald as of February 20, 2015.

In 2016 McDonald sought more stringent firing rules under a massive Veterans reform proposal and received support for Senator Johnny Isaksen of Georgia who stated that in regards to VA employees he wanted McDonald to “hold them accountable”.

On November 6, 2014, McDonald was quoted as saying “changing culture is one of the most important things a leader can do” in reference to visiting 41 different VA facilities to evaluate needed areas of change that included one facility in Phoenix, AZ whose wait times had already been decrease by 37%.Tsmith47 (talk) 12:37, 17 April 2019 (UTC)

References

Reply 17-APR-2019

1. "McDonald replaced 14 of 17 leaders... McDonalds predecessor at the VA, Skinseki, fired 2,247..." this is clearly info for the VA article.
2. "In 2016 McDonald sought more stringent firing rules" To "seek" something is an amorphous act, as things can be sought physically, emotionally, mentally, etc. A student who seeks to succeed on a test may study hard, they may read a bit more, or they may psychologically prepare themselves for the task of test taking. In other words, that McDonald "sought more stringent firing rules" says nothing about what was done about those firing rules. Likewise, Senator Isaksen's "support" of McDonald is equally amorphous, as that support could really mean anything. Indeed, the source says "A massive veterans reform measure including new employment rules for senior officials and an overhaul of outside care programs could be on the Senate floor early next month". The word could describes something that hasn't happened yet.
3. "On November 6, 2014, McDonald was quoted..." Quotes from McDonald are not really the purpose of the article, per WP:NOTQUOTE.

Regards,  Spintendo  13:37, 17 April 2019 (UTC)

Some Proposed Changes - Personal Life

Bob McDonald is the founder of the McDonald Conference for Leaders of Characterthat annually brings together exemplary students from universities such as Princeton, Georgia Tech, Wake Forest, Seton Hall, The University of Florida, Cornell University and others from around the globe with distinguished senior leaders to help bolster leadership skills, foster collaboration, and to develop strategies for addressing pressing global issues.Tsmith47 (talk) 12:28, 19 April 2019 (UTC)

References

Reply 19-APR-2019

  Edit request implemented   This is more of a professional item rather than a personal item, so it was placed under Career. Regards,  Spintendo  13:59, 19 April 2019 (UTC)

Personal Life

Philanthropy

McDonald donated a statue of General Ulysses S. Grant that was unveiled on April 25, 2019 on The Plain at West Point.Tsmith47 (talk) 12:35, 30 April 2019 (UTC)

References

  Edit request implemented  --valereee (talk) 12:52, 30 April 2019 (UTC)

Some Proposed Changes - Career

• Career

McDonald is one of 15 chief executives named to the Corporate CEO Council of The Advanced Leadership Initiative.Tsmith47 (talk) 18:46, 28 May 2019 (UTC)

References

Reply 28-MAY-2019

  Edit request declined  

• The Advanced Leadership Initiative is not independently notable in Wikipedia.

Regards,  Spintendo  01:44, 29 May 2019 (UTC)

Some Proposed Changes

Extended content
File:Grant Statue Dedication.jpg Ulysses S. Grant statue at West Point

Tsmith47 (talk) 15:09, 29 May 2019 (UTC) Please place this image in the Personal Life area of the article.Tsmith47 (talk) 12:54, 30 May 2019 (UTC)

A better photograph to use would be one with the subject standing next to the statue. Surely there must be one where that is the case.  Spintendo  19:07, 30 May 2019 (UTC)

Thank you. I'll re-submit a substitute for consideration.Tsmith47 (talk) 19:13, 3 June 2019 (UTC)

Some Proposed Changes

Please place this image in the Personal Life section.

Extended content
File:BM Grant Statue.jpg Robert A. McDonald standing next to Ulysses S. Grant statue

Tsmith47 (talk) 20:42, 4 June 2019 (UTC)

I appreciate that the subject has been included in this photograph. However, almost the entirety of the subject is obscured behind the statue's pedestal. Being partially obscured has the added effect of making the subject difficult to spot in the photograph. Looking at it, it takes a moment or two before it becomes clear that there is a person standing behind the statue, and it only becomes clearer a few moments after that whom the person actually is. The photograph itself is also very low resolution. I would repeat my request that the subject be shown prominently next to or in front of the statue in a photograph of a higher resolution for it to be included in the article. (A good example would be this photograph of a statue celebrating the life and work of Theodor Geisel, photographed along with Geisel's wife, with both elements being unambiguously shown.) Regards,  Spintendo  05:51, 7 June 2019 (UTC)

Some Proposed Changes

Please place the photo below in the Personal Life area. Thank you.

Extended content
File:Robert McDonald Standing Next To Ulysses S. Grant Statue at West Point.jpg Robert McDonald Standing Next To Ulysses S. Grant Statue at West Point

Tsmith47 (talk) 17:08, 7 June 2019 (UTC)

Reply 09-JUN-2019

  Edit request implemented    Spintendo  09:24, 9 June 2019 (UTC)

Thank you.Tsmith47 (talk) 13:01, 11 June 2019 (UTC)

Some Proposed Changes - Career

In 2014 McDonald led a community-based task force to help the city of Cincinnati better understand what was required to renovate its Museum Center and Music Hall. He worked to help pass a tax levy and raise philanthropic funds for the renovation of the iconic buildings.Tsmith47 (talk) 12:55, 13 June 2019 (UTC)

References

Reply 14-JUN-2019

  Clarification requested  

1. "led a community-based task force to help the city of Cincinnati better understand..." This claim needs to clarify which actions specifically were performed on the part of the subject which led to the community-based task force helping the city to "better understand" its renovation of the Museum Center and Music Hall.
2. "...for the renovation of the iconic buildings." This claim needs to be clarified as to which iconic buildings are being referred to.

When ready to proceed, kindly alter the {{request edit}} template's answer parameter to read from |ans=yes to |ans=no and list your responses below. It would be better create a new edit request when ready to proceed rather than re-activating an older one which might be difficult for other editors to spot due to the intervening text below. Thank you!
Regards,  Spintendo  13:00, 14 June 2019 (UTC)

Will do. Thank you for the feedback!Tsmith47 (talk) 13:19, 17 June 2019 (UTC)

Remove controversies section or incorporate citations throughout text?

The section seems a bit out of place, and some things feel like they don't really belong in the article because of due weight, and also guidelines on criticism in biographies. The length of this is about as long as an entire 30 year career span, yet it covers three specific items within two years. They don't seem to add anything much encyclopedic to the article, and having not been familiar with the topic of this biography at large, they seem out of place.

Anyone have thoughts?

Remove: On a February 15, 2015 airing of Meet the Press, McDonald stated that 60 Veterans Affairs employees had been fired because of the VA's wait time scandal. Later, he backtracked and clarified it was only eight employees that lost their jobs.[23]

Remove an extended quote from "Huffington Post" which does not seem helpful to this article for due weight.

The Huffington Post reported that "special operations forces" includes the Army Rangers and that McDonald "completed Army Ranger training and took courses in jungle, arctic and desert warfare. He qualified as a senior parachutist and airborne jumpmaster, and was assigned to the 82nd Airborne Division until he resigned his commission in 1980. While he earned a Ranger tab designating him as a graduate of Ranger School, he never served in a Ranger battalion or any other special operations unit.[23]"

Remove A comment about Disney wait times seems trivial in due weight:

On May 23, 2016, Secretary McDonald stated that Disney does not measure wait times at its amusement parks, arguing that VA wait times are not an important measure. This statement was viewed as both insensitive to patients and incorrect, as Disney does measure wait times.[25] Speaker of the House Paul Ryan criticized McDonald's comments on Twitter and in a blog post, saying, "This is not make-believe, Mr. Secretary. Veterans have died waiting in those lines."[26] He apologized the next day.[27]

— Preceding unsigned comment added by Naadobea1776 (talk • contribs) 15:39, 14 June 2019 (UTC)

Reply 14-JUN-2019

1. The first item's reference is non-functional and its claim was omitted.
2. Part of the reference for item 2 which was cited by the non-functioning URL above was switched with the Huffington Post cite, as the information ostensibly aligns with that reference.
3. In item 3, the following sentences were either removed or appended with inline maintenance templates:
   1. Speaker of the House Paul Ryan criticized McDonald's comments on Twitter and in a blog post, saying, "This is not make-believe, Mr. Secretary. Veterans have died waiting in those lines." This item was removed as it's reference is non-functional.
   2. "He apologized the next day." This claim does not clarify who made the apology, and was given the who? inline template.
4. The COI editor is reminded of the need to sign all posts using 4 tildes.

Regards,  Spintendo  19:23, 14 June 2019 (UTC)

Some Proposed Changes - Career

In 2014 McDonald led a community-based task force to help the city of Cincinnati renovate its Museum Center and Music Hall. He helped to craft a tax levy proposal that passed for the renovation of the buildings.Tsmith47 (talk) 18:48, 21 June 2019 (UTC)

References

Drafting tax levy proposals is complicated work which when performed by government attorneys is usually done by staffers brought in to craft the language and phrasing of the tax levy, including research on background information and financial figures. My only remaining question would be whether or not the subject was paid or enumerated in any way for his leadership role in directing and/or consulting with this task force on these activities. It would be highly unusual if the subject performed this consultation work on his own pro bono, a fact which should be noted in the text if that were the case. The claim should also briefly mention what the tax levy was placed on. Regards,  Spintendo  17:54, 26 June 2019 (UTC)

The members of the community who were part of the Cultural Facilities Task Force were not compensated and performed their services pro bono. A strict code of ethics was enforced among the task force members such that no one could personally benefit from their involvement in the project. As an example, the engineering firm that helped in the assessment of the projects could not compete for future contracts. A presentation made by the task force on June 23, 2014 to Hamilton County, Ohio outlines the task force membership, project evaluation and scope, and proposed methods of funding. Absent from the presentation is the mention of any financial compensation for the members of the task force. Lastly, could you be more specific by what you mean when requesting what the tax levy was placed on? I believe there is information to answer that question, however it is unclear to me what you are asking for. Thank you.Tsmith47 (talk) 20:42, 1 July 2019 (UTC)

That information is exactly what is needed here in the text, thank you for providing it. As far as the tax levy, my question asks what the tax was placed upon. Taxes are usually paid alone (property taxes) or in combination with some type of purchase (sales tax) or transaction signifying a change of state (estate taxes). The mechanics of this tax are not clear. Also if you could provide the page number of the pdf document listed above. Thank you! Regards,  Spintendo  20:04, 4 July 2019 (UTC)

I believe that page 16 of the PDF best represents the use of funds through the proposed sales tax. Regarding the request for what the tax levy was placed upon, please let me know if the following will suffice. The Hamilton County Commissioners added a tax levy known as Issue 8 to the ballot in the fall of 2014 that passed which added an additional sales tax to assist in paying for the renovation of the Museum Center.Tsmith47 (talk) 14:17, 16 July 2019 (UTC)

Thank you for providing the context. My proposal would be the following: In 2014 McDonald led a community-based task force to help the city of Cincinnati renovate its Museum Center. As a result of this work, the Hamilton County Commissioners added a tax levy known as Issue 8 to the ballot in the fall of 2014 which passed, adding an additional sales tax to assist in paying for the renovations. Regards,  Spintendo  15:07, 16 July 2019 (UTC)

Agreed. Thank you for providing the revision. Please let me know if you need anything else, or, if this can be approved to go live on the article.Tsmith47 (talk) 12:36, 23 July 2019 (UTC)

References

Proposed Changes 7/4/2019

In career section, second paragraph please replace

"He resigned from P&G on June 30, 2013"

with

"He retired from P&G on June 30, 2013"

Reply 04-JUL-2019

Not done
Resigned is the correct, traditionally-used word to describe "stepping down under pressure".

 Spintendo  20:23, 4 July 2019 (UTC)

References

At end of controversies section, please remove:

"On May 23, 2016, Secretary McDonald stated that Disney does not measure wait times at its amusement parks, arguing that VA wait times are not an important measure. This statement was viewed as both insensitive to patients and incorrect, as Disney does measure wait times.[24] He apologized the next day.[who?][25]

reasoning for removal is:

The cited source does not include any statement by Secretary McDonald. Furthermore, the source does not state "this statement was viewed as both insensitive to patients and incorrect". Furthermore, the article cited does not mention that "Disney does measure wait times". The statement is not supported by the source, and appears to be WP:ORIGINAL.

Naadobea1776 (talk) 16:52, 4 July 2019 (UTC)

Reply 04-JUL-2019

Not done
The original sources mentioned (#24, #25) have not been provided here in the request.

 Spintendo  20:23, 4 July 2019 (UTC)

At beginning of controversies section, please remove:

On February 23, 2015, McDonald admitted he misspoke trying to engage a homeless veteran on January 30, 2015, about his serving in the U.S. Army Special Forces, a conversation that was recorded by a CBS television news crew accompanying him during a nationwide count of homeless veterans. "I have no excuse, I was not in the special forces" he told The Huffington Post, which first broke the story

There appears to be a good deal of WP:ORIGINAL in this paragraph, for the following:

The date is not included in this source. There is not mention of "admitted" in the source. The source states "homeless man", not "homeless veteran". There is no indication that HuffPost was the "first to break the story".

Naadobea1776 (talk) 16:52, 4 July 2019 (UTC)

Reply 04-JUL-2019

Not done
The source has not been provided with the request.

 Spintendo  20:23, 4 July 2019 (UTC)

Please remove, at the end of the controversies section, "The Huffington Post reported that "special operations forces" includes the Army Rangers and that McDonald "completed Army Ranger training and took courses in jungle, arctic and desert warfare. He qualified as a senior parachutist and airborne jumpmaster, and was assigned to the 82nd Airborne Division until he resigned his commission in 1980. While he earned a Ranger tab designating him as a graduate of Ranger School, he never served in a Ranger battalion or any other special operations unit"

There appears to be a good deal of reduplicated material:

The ranger tab is already included in the infobox, and is redundant in this section, as it is not controversial, and includes a wikilink already in the infobox to further describe what that is. A list of what this is not, is not helpful.

Naadobea1776 (talk) 16:52, 4 July 2019 (UTC)

Reply 04-JUL-2019

Marking the distinction between the act of completing training for the Army Rangers as opposed to serving in a Ranger battalion is helpful for those readers who may confuse the distinction between those two states of affairs. The claim also contains a quote from the source. If you'd like explanatory text added to the quote, please advise along with references. Also please note for future reference that one request template is sufficient to handle multiple requests placed at the same time. Thank you!

 Spintendo  20:23, 4 July 2019 (UTC)

Edit requests

In career section, second paragraph, there is "original research" taking place, please replace the word resigned with the word retired, which is the actual word used in the cited source.

"He resigned from P&G on June 30, 2013"

with

"He retired from P&G on June 30, 2013"

At end of controversies section, please remove:

On May 23, 2016, Secretary McDonald stated that Disney does not measure wait times at its amusement parks, arguing that VA wait times are not an important measure. This statement was viewed as both insensitive to patients and incorrect, as Disney does measure wait times. He apologized the next day.

reasoning for removal is:

The cited source does not include any statement by Secretary McDonald. Furthermore, the source does not state "this statement was viewed as both insensitive to patients and incorrect". Furthermore, the article cited does not mention that "Disney does measure wait times". The statement is not supported by the source, and appears to be WP:ORIGINAL.

At beginning of controversies section, please remove:

On February 23, 2015, McDonald admitted he misspoke trying to engage a homeless veteran on January 30, 2015, about his serving in the U.S. Army Special Forces, a conversation that was recorded by a CBS television news crew accompanying him during a nationwide count of homeless veterans. "I have no excuse, I was not in the special forces" he told The Huffington Post, which first broke the story.

There appears to be a good deal of WP:ORIGINAL in this paragraph, for the following:

The date is not included in this source. There is not mention of "admitted" in the source. The source states "homeless man", not "homeless veteran". There is no indication that HuffPost was the "first to break the story".

Thank you,

Naadobea1776 (talk) 15:08, 5 July 2019 (UTC)

References

Reply 05-JUL-2019

  Discussion required  

1. Disputatious issues ought not to be resolved through the COI edit request feature, a feature which is primarily meant for users whose role as a Wikipedia editor comes into conflict with some other external role to make simple, uncontroversial requests to change an article.
2. The process of content dispute resolution needed here should begin with a discussion of the issues on the talk page, followed by the subsequent dispute resolution strategies listed under WP:CONTENTDISPUTE.

Regards,  Spintendo  16:28, 5 July 2019 (UTC)

Revising Controversies Section

The controversies section appears to have a fair amount of original research, statements unsupported by sources, and information that is redundant with the infobox. Furthermore, these seem to have more than their "due weight", and a bit of recent-ism as well.

What are other editors thoughts on the matter?

Naadobea1776 (talk) 20:16, 8 July 2019 (UTC)

Some Proposed Changes

Please place this image on the left hand side of the article under the U.S. Secretary of Veterans Affairs area. Robert A. McDonald VA Portrait Unveiling Tsmith47 (talk) 18:13, 31 October 2019 (UTC)

Reply 31-OCT-2019

  Edit request declined  

• According to the file's data page, this image is not legally usable in Wikipedia.

Regards,  Spintendo  00:04, 1 November 2019 (UTC)

Some Proposed Changes

Below is a proposed addition to the Career section:

McDonald’s personal leadership ability created an environment within P&G that allowed the company stock price to rise from $51.10 to $81.64, a 60 percent increase, during his tenure as CEO from 2009 to 2013.Tsmith47 (talk) 22:15, 20 November 2019 (UTC)

References

Reply 21-NOV-2019

  Edit request declined  

• This publication is a self-help book written by an author with litle history of analyses on, or published content about, the consumer goods business sector, nor are they an established historian of topics concerning the military or Mr. McDonald. Unless the General has a chapter discussing specifically what it was about McDonald's personal leadership abilities which enabled the creation of an environment favorable to stock increases, this claim has nothing concrete to impart.

Regards,  Spintendo  08:01, 21 November 2019 (UTC)

Thank you for the feedback. We'll dig deeper and see if we can provide the content you mention.Tsmith47 (talk) 19:35, 25 November 2019 (UTC)

Some Proposed Changes

Please add the following update to the Career section.

The Horatio Alger Association has named McDonald to its 2020 Member Class.Tsmith47 (talk) 13:36, 11 December 2019 (UTC)

References

Reply 11-DEC-2019

  Declined for now  

• The award may be added (because it is independently notable) but the award has not officially been bestowed upon the subject. According to the source, the award will be given in April of 2020. That would be the time to propose adding this claim, at which time I would be happy to add it to the article.

Regards,  Spintendo  22:54, 11 December 2019 (UTC)

Thank you.Tsmith47 (talk) 14:40, 23 December 2019 (UTC)

Some Proposed Changes

I am proposing the following new citations be included in the Early Life and Education section of the article that pertain to the citation requests made:

McDonald was born on June 20, 1953, in Gary, Indiana, and grew up in Chicago. He graduated from the U.S. Military Academy at West Point in 1975 in the top 2% of his class with a Bachelor of Science degree in Engineering. At West Point he served as the Brigade Adjutant for the Corps of Cadets and was awarded the Silver Medal from the Royal Society for the Encouragement of Arts, Manufacturing and Commerce. After graduation, he served in the U.S. Army for five years, primarily in the 82nd Airborne Division, attaining the rank of Captain, and earned an MBA from the University of Utah in 1978. Upon leaving the military he received the Meritorious Service Medal.Tsmith47 (talk) 18:53, 16 November 2020 (UTC)

I made these changes, although I added new sources to replace the press release, specifically the Washington Post article and the Horation Alger website. Thanks.DesertDana (talk) 00:40, 26 January 2021 (UTC)

References

Some Proposed Changes

I am proposing that the content below be added as the second and third paragraphs of the Career section:

McDonald oversaw a $10 billion restructuring plan to make P&G nimbler in emerging markets, and, to implement multiple-category production with factories that simultaneously made products for a number of its global business units.

In his final 12 months at the company, McDonald refocused the company on its core markets and products and cut costs to which the company's shares reacted by rising 26%.

I am also proposing that the edit below be made to the first sentence in fourth paragraph of the Career section:

McDonald is on the boards of RallyPoint Networks, Inc. and serves on the Board of Directors of Partnership for Public Service, Audia International, Inc., the Association of Graduates of the United States Military Academy, the Boulder Crest Retreat Foundation, and the McCormick Research Institute.Tsmith47 (talk) 14:02, 8 January 2021 (UTC)

 Done P,TO 19104 (talk) (contribs) 00:49, 10 February 2021 (UTC)

References

Some Proposed Changes

I am proposing that the content below be added as a new sub-section titled MyVA to the U.S. Secretary of Veterans Affairs main section:

In 2015, McDonald implemented the MyVA initiative that improved the areas of Veteran service, the employee experience, internal support services, strategic partnerships , and organizational culture through the streamlining of processes and services.

Results of McDonald’s MyVA initiative included a 90 percent reduction in the backlog of Veteran disability claims, a nearly 50 percent reduction in Veteran homelessness and a functional end to Veteran homelessness in 34 communities, 75% of Veterans reported receiving the care and services they needed; and 97 percent of Veteran appointments were scheduled within 30 days, 92 percent within 14 days, 87 percent within 7 days, and 23 percent the same day. In 2019, a study conducted by the Journal of the American Medical Association found improved wait times at VA between 2014 and 2017, and that they were equal to or better than those found in the private sector.Tsmith47 (talk) 16:49, 27 January 2021 (UTC)

• Oppose: I have no connection to the article-subject. I reviewed a few of the suggested citations and most appeared to be primary sources, press releases, etc. rather than journalists, book authors, and/or scholarly works. CorporateM (Talk) 21:37, 14 February 2021 (UTC)

 Not done because the request is controvesial. —Compassionate727 ^(T·C) 17:51, 2 May 2021 (UTC)

References

Article review

A review of this article shows that it is quite long and several items included may violate the WP:NOTEVERYTHING, WP:DUE and WP:NPOV requirements. The article includes large sections of resume-like material and is ripe for an edit reducing its content substantially. I suggest interested editors take a look and make appropriate edits to make the article more in line with the Wikipedia encyclopedic standards for WP:BLP articles. Without such a review, the article risks cuts. Go4thProsper (talk) 19:52, 17 October 2020 (UTC)

Some Proposed Changes

In the Career section, please change the title of the subject from COO to CEO in the first sentence of the second paragraph. The subject was CEO and Chairman of P&G at the time of this event.

In the infobox, please provide the following updates:

|party = Independent voter

|mawards = Ranger tab

             =  Senior Parachutist Badge
             =  Expert Infantry Badge
             =  Meritorious Service Medal

Below are the citations for the above requested new awards to be added (if needed):

Senior Parachutist Expert Infantryman Meritorious Service MedalTsmith47 (talk) 13:42, 11 March 2021 (UTC)

References

An change to 'independent' would seem to seem to contradict third-party sources -- and his own words: "Q. What did you learn while working with President Obama? A. I was a Republican in a Democratic administration and had been a lifelong Republican." If his registration is technically indy, or his work in the Obama admin has caused a Damascene conversion on that score, a reliable secondary source should be provided. 109.255.211.6 (talk) 19:24, 29 April 2021 (UTC)

 Not done because this is not LinkedIn. Please advise your client to register an account there. —valereee (talk) 21:52, 29 April 2021 (UTC)

@Tsmith47: To be a little less combative than Valereee: I have added the Meritorious Service Medal to the infobox. I have not added the others because they are not important enough to merit inclusion in the infobox; feel free to suggest a way of incorporating them into the prose. (I have removed the Ranger Tab for the same reason.) I have not added the political affiliation because it was unsourced as well as per 109.255.211.6. The COO/CEO confusion seems to already have been fixed. —Compassionate727 ^(T·C) 14:25, 30 April 2021 (UTC)

@Compassionate727, I already removed the political affiliation, just blanking it out of courtesy as if the subject does not want to be identified as Republican any longer, I see no reason we need to include that since it's not important for readers. Not sure I appreciate being called combative lol...have you seen that we've answered nearly 80 edit requests in 2.5 years, most of which are trivia, by a single paid editor who must at this point be able to count their earnings in the $thousands? I'm not sure it's being combative to finally declare a request to add the Senior Parachutist Badge the last straw. —valereee (talk) 14:45, 30 April 2021 (UTC)

Yeah, sorry, didn't mean to imply you were being unreasonable. I was just looking at this as an outsider and thinking: "this is not LinkedIn" does not tell Tsmith47 why their changes have been rejected or what he needs to do to make them an improvement; saying the awards are too trivial for the infobox and the rest of it is unsourced is a bit more helpful. I am assuming good faith; since you are highly active in this area, you would know better than me whether the assumption is reasonable. —Compassionate727 ^(T·C) 14:50, 30 April 2021 (UTC)

Coutesy ping Valereee —Compassionate727 ^(T·C) 14:51, 30 April 2021 (UTC)

No worries. Tsmith47 has been selling their services to Bob McDonald and multiple other people for years. Fortunately McDonald is a rich man and no dummy, so I assume he thinks he's getting his money's worth, but he may not realize that paid editing attracts unwanted attention, which makes editors go out and try to dig up anything bad they can find to add, which means more work for the paid editor. It's a vicious cycle. I don't mind when I come across a paid editor who wants to correct a few things for their client, but after 2.5 years and dozens and dozens of edit requests, many over trivial details, this is feeling predatory to me. —valereee (talk) 15:10, 30 April 2021 (UTC)