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Talk:Blackout (Britney Spears album)/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Petergriffin9901 (talk • message • contribs • count • logs • email) 00:00, 2 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

References

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Okay XWX, I'd really love you know your name BTW. Let me list you some things to start with.

Lead

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  • Spears started writing songs for her next album in November 2003 -> kind of confusing; maybe, "Spears started writing songs for the album
    •  Done
  • In May 2007, she embarked on The M+M's Tour at House of Blues venues across the United States -> Not saying its not relevant, but why does this belong here? (Don't just remove, tell me why :))
    • Because it doesn't belong anywhere else? lol.
  • You mention for a chunk of the lead that Spears began writing music for the album, yet she appears as a co-writer on only two songs; maybe less emphasis on writing it and more working on it
    • Well, she was writing back then and I mention that word only once. I use working for the rest of the album.
  • a range of elements of several -> reads a bit weird
    • Changed to elements of several.
  • Regarding the photos with the priest, I don't see this in the actual photo in the body. I just see porcelain and wooden object?
    • I thought some people from other religions might not know what a confessional is. What do you suggest?
  • Actually, according to MC, the album holds "generally favorable reviews"
  • called, should be -> small issues with tense
    • I have issues with tense, so check if it's fine now.
  • for being robotic -> unless this is a direct quote, I think "overly-processed" is much more appropriate
  • to debut at at the
  • Blackout has sold 3.1 million copies worldwide. -> As of?
  • I think you should establish that her panned performance was the only live performance in promotion of the album
    • Done all.

Background

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  • Spears told Entertainment Weekly she -> that
    •  Done
  • "probably before summertime, or maybe a little sooner than that." -> think, to avoid confusion, you should list the year in brackets
    •  Done
  • I think the main (but small) issue with this section is the transition from TOD to BLOUT. Even knowing both albums, I am not sure when you are referring to which. Maybe a live that TOD was cancelled?
    • I think someone who doesn't know the TOD situation might just get that TOD was just a working title for Blackout. Plus, we don't have anything on TOD being canceled.

The M+M Tour

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  • She started rehearsing for a show at House of Blues venues in secret -> Any other words for 'secret'?
    • I don't know, is 'private' ok?
  • and pulled out of a surprise -> what do you mean? She was performing a show and quit?
    • Yes.

Recording

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  • The photos are still a bit too large Rob, try shimmying them down a bit
    • Down from 230 to 200.
  • Spears's -> Spears' (look for several instances throughout the article)
    •  Done
  • wanted to work with her "forever" and -> this can have two meanings. He's been wanting to work with her forever, or wants to work with her forver?
    • Changed "forever" to "for a long time"
  • I think you should emphasize a little more that "Piece of Me" actually spoke of her personal life. I know you mean it, but it could be clearer
    •  Done

Composition

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  • Again, photos are a little large
    • Down from 135 to 115
  • and third single is "Break the Ice" -> the is kind of breaks it
    •  Done
  • I know you have one sample, but for such a diverse album, I think one or two more samples with good descriptions would be nice. If you agree, let me know what song and what part and I can upload it for you :)
  • Honestly, this article is great and such a pleasure to read. You should be very proud!
    • Thanks! That means a lot. :)

Release and artwork

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  • Any news on the result of the lawsuit?
  • was " horrendous"
  • The only stand-out issue here is the photo. It doesn't really cover anything said in the section. I wouldn't mind a non-free cover picture of one of those controversial photos, since it is heavily backed in the prose. It would be like an alt cover, and it would pass rational.
    • All done.

Critical reception

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  • You should list the MC score out of 100 above the chart. Look at The Emancipation of Mimi to see what I mean
  • Mention that 61/100 indicated "generally favorable reviews"
  • The main issue of this section is the formula "John Smith of " " said". Try switching it up a bit
    • Done all.

Chart performance

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  • Blackout could possibly debut at the top -> would
    •  Done
  • Any source for Mayfield's quote? Or is that all covered in that one ref lines down?
    • It's all in the source.
  • had a consistent performance -> had consistent performance. I think that makes more sense
    •  Done

Singles

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  • It was also commercially successful -> borderline NPOV
  • It received positive reviews from music critics -> You only list one citation
    • All done.

Promotion

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  • it was confirmed on September 6, 2007, that Spears -> no comma needed
  • by the by the
  • was not heavily promoted by magazine interviews -> through
    • All done.

Legacy

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  • public began to clash with her public -> try not to use basic words in such close proximity
  • Really nice!
    • All done.

Misc

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Non-reviewer comments

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  • First of all, let me say: Amazing work on the article!
    • Thank you! :D
  • What I noticed is the use of {{Double image}} in Recording section, when I view it in a low resolution, there's squeezing of text. Similar issue in Composition section. Can you reduce the number of images?
    • I think that the images really add to article. Maybe I can reduce the size? And I know what I'm gonna say is WP:OTHERCRAP, but I really liked the way Lego used it on Born This Way, so that's why I added it here.
  • Can the caption of the sample be expanded a bit? You know, made strong?
    • Expanded and added sources.
  • Last, in the tracklisting section, Japan, Target and Swiss editions need sources.
      • Added sources and removed the Swiss edition.

That's all :) Your name is Rob? Cool! Novice7 (talk) 05:05, 3 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Hi Maggy! Welcome :D--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 05:41, 3 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
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