Talk:Birthday (Katy Perry song)/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: WonderBoy1998 (talk · contribs) 18:54, 25 December 2013 (UTC) Hi, I'll be reviewing this. Just a little something I can do for all the GA reviews you have conducted for me --WonderBoy1998 (talk) 18:54, 25 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Prose and grammar

Since it's a pretty short article I went ahead and made several corrections myself. And you've got a lot to handle down there so I did this part for you :) --WonderBoy1998 (talk) 15:20, 27 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Bg and recording

but later scrapped the plan as she "hadn't let the light in" - The Billboard source doesn't exactly write "hadn't let the light in" so you can't quote it like that. Either make it "[hadn't] let the light in" or make it "but later scrapped the plan as she had begun to "let the light in."

Done

Include a sentence mentioning that Luke, Martin, and Cirkut as the producers. --WonderBoy1998 (talk) 16:08, 27 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Done – if you didn't see it: "Produced by Dr. Luke, Max Martin and Cirkut, "Birthday" [...]"

Composition

The chord progression is not correct at all. In the text is "E-C#m-E-B" but in fact it is Emaj9-C♯m7-Emaj9-C♯m7-B(source: http://www.musicnotes.com/sheetmusic/mtdFPE.asp?ppn=MN0128825). I think it will be good idea to add information about tempo(126BPM) and vocal range(B3-F#5, 2 octaves and 7 semitones). — Preceding unsigned comment added by 83.6.212.13 (talk) 14:40, 13 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]
I went through the references regarding the genre of the song. It seems the main genre is disco, so I think you should make it something like ""Birthday" is a disco song with influences of funk and house music. It has a length of three minutes and thirty-five seconds".

Done but in a slightly different way. Please check.

"deeply rhythmic impulse and a joyful lyrical concept" are directly copied from the source. Either enclose them in quotations or para-phrase them.

Done

"Jason Lipshutz of Billboard called it a "stone-cold stunner", going on to say the song "serves as pop music's (superior) answer to Swizz Beatz's "Everyday Birthday" (2012)" - this part definitely sounds like a review, and an acclaimed one too. Move it to Critical reception. Also do mention that the reviewer feels "Birthday" has the most potential to become a hit; it can be an important point.

Done

" jerky breaks and synth washes" - Again needs para-phrasing or should be enclosed in quotations.

Done

"Stephen Thomas Erlewine from AllMusic dubbed the song as the album's "sexiest" and as a "glorious retro-disco explosion".[16] Jon Dolan from Rolling Stone noted that the "sunny effervescence" from Teenage Dream was present on the song" - Again more like reviews. Include them in critical reception. --WonderBoy1998 (talk) 15:20, 27 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Done

Critical reception

"Jon Dolan noted that the "sunny effervescence" from Teenage Dream was present on "Birthday" and described it as "lush"" - Almost the same sentence from Composition. Also mention that Dolan is from Rolling Stone

Done

Use this link to the Rolling Stone review.

Done

This section will gain considerable mass when a lot of points are moved in from Composition.
Sort the reviews in alphabetical order of review site (i.e with A.V club on top)

Done

Ref styles

Note: Words italicised below are only to highlight them and differentiate them from the normal text. It doesn't mean that they have to italicised in the markup. --WonderBoy1998 (talk) 16:32, 27 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Fossi, Michele (22 June 2012). "The new cover with Katy Perry on L'Uomo Vogue". Vogue Italia. Condé Nast. Retrieved 8 December 2013. - Link Vogue Italia. Also, Vogue Italia is a published source and thus should be put in the work parameter of the cite template. I have checked the markup, and you have put it as website=''Vogue Italia''. This should be - work=Vogue Italia
Diehl, Matt (27 September 2013). "Katy Perry's 'PRISM': The Billboard Cover Story". Billboard. Prometheus Global Media. Retrieved 8 December 2013. - Link Prometheus Global Media
Garibaldi, Christina. "Katy Perry 'Lets the Light In' On Prism". MTV.com. Retrieved 8 December 2013. - Publisher parameter should be publisher=MTV. Viacom Media Networks
katyperry (21 October 2013). "Mariah Carey, Prince". Twitter. - What is this? This kind of citation doesn't seem right. And a tweet too doesn't seem to be an acceptable source.
Montgomery, James (6 September 2013). "Katy Perry Premieres Prism In New York: Here's Our Take!". MTV. Viacom. Retrieved 7 December 2013. - Publisher parameter should be publisher=MTV. Viacom Media Networks (No linking to MTV and Viacom) Note that non-printed sources are not italicised.
Liphsutz, Jason (16 October 2013). "Katy Perry's Vibrant 'Birthday' Song Leaks Online". Billboard. Prometheus Global Media. Retrieved 7 December 2013. - Unlink Billboard as it has been linked once.
^ "Katy Perry — PRISM". Capitol Records. iTunes Store. September 30, 2013. Retrieved September 30, 2013. - Remove Capital Records entirely. Publisher parameter should be publisher=iTunes Store. Apple Inc.
Erlewine, Stephen. "Prism - Katy Perry". AllMusic. All Media Network, LLC. Retrieved 8 December 2013. - AllMusic should not be italicised since it's not printed. Replace website=AllMusic |publisher=All Media Network, LLC. with publisher=AllMusic. Rovi Corporation
Lipshutz, Jason (21 October 2013). "Katy Perry's 'PRISM': Track-By-Track Review". Billboard. Prometheus Global Media. Retrieved 8 December 2013. - Unlink Billboard as it has been linked once.
Eakin, Marah (18 October 2013). "Katy Perry: Prism". The A.V. Club. Retrieved 10 December 2013. - Replace publisher=The A.V. Club with work=The A.V. Club| parameter=The Onion (yes do link the two)
Cinquemani, Sal (18 October 2013). "Katy Perry: Prism". Slant Magazine. Retrieved 10 December 2013 - Link Slant Magazine
^ Prism (liner notes). Katy Perry. United States: Capitol Records. 2013. - Unlink Capitol. Linked once before.

Whew, that was quite a lot. It's a good thing actually that all this could be cleared out in this small article, it will help you a great deal when you work on the big ones and you can avoid making small mistakes. --WonderBoy1998 (talk) 16:26, 27 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Done

Link check and rationale check

Used one image which is non-copyrighted.
A minor link change you have to make.

Done

Lead and infobox

who highlighted its fun theme and musical composition, noting the musical influence from Perry's previous album, Teenage Dream (2010). - I think you can remove the "noting the musical influence from Perry's previous album, Teenage Dream (2010)" part since it seems only Dolan pointed that out. Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.

Done

Status

On hold pour une semaine. I know the review seems to detailed and large but believe me these issues act like a guideline when you approach the big articles. Just see the review of my first GAN song article. --WonderBoy1998 (talk) 16:29, 27 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for reviewing the article, and I think that I've done everything here. Prism △ 21:14, 27 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Shockingly, not much has been done at all. I just compared your last revision to the version of the article I last left it as, and it seems only a few issues have been addressed like reordering and addition of points in Critical reception and some c/e. Otherwise, everything else is left. However, on doing a detailed check on the history of the article, I noticed that you did carry out the changes, but perhaps due to some technical error those modifications have not been saved. I'm sorry, but I guess you'd have to redo these changes, or maybe you can revert to some past version or do something like that. As of now the article remains on hold. --WonderBoy1998 (talk) 09:14, 28 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Oh my. I swear I did them all, but maybe I forgot to save them or something. I'll do them right now. Prism △ 12:12, 28 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

All done, I guess. Prism △ 12:30, 28 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Passing now, good work! --WonderBoy1998 (talk) 12:54, 28 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you Prism △ 13:01, 28 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.