Talk:Bertha Park High School

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A fact from Bertha Park High School appeared on Wikipedia's Main Page in the Did you know column on 16 September 2020 (check views). The text of the entry was as follows:

Did you know... that when Bertha Park High School opened, all pupils were provided with iPads, but had to lock their own phones in lockers?

A record of the entry may be seen at Wikipedia:Recent additions/2020/September. The nomination discussion and review may be seen at Template:Did you know nominations/Bertha Park High School.

Wikipedia

Did you know nomination

The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Cwmhiraeth (talk) 06:23, 11 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

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Comment or view
Article history

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~~... that Bertha Park High School was the first new high school in Scotland for 20 years?~~ Source: "Bertha Park High School, which is the first completely new secondary school in Scotland for 20 years."
- ALT1:~~... that Bertha Park High School was the first new high school in Scotland for 20 years, and the first in its local area since 1972?~~ Source: As ALT0 plus "it will be the first secondary school to be built in Perth and Kinross since 1972."
- ALT2:~~... that Bertha Park High School was the only school in the UK to be selected as one of Microsoft's first Flagship Schools?~~ Source: List of schools at this link.
- ALT3:~~... that when Bertha Park High School opened all the pupils were provided with iPads?~~ Source: "each new pupil at the new-build school will be issued a brand new Apple iPad"

Comment: Not sure what best to put in a hook, hence the additional choices.

Moved to mainspace by CSJJ104 (talk). Self-nominated at 15:18, 22 August 2020 (UTC).[reply]

New enough, long enough, within policy. ALT3 is the best and cited. QPQ exempted. Good to go. Vincent^LUFan (talk) (Kenton!) 15:04, 23 August 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Hi, I came by to promote ALT3, but upon reviewing the source I see you have a much better hook in the fact that they confiscated students' phones and gave them different ones. Also, any reader who clicks on the article to find out more about ALT3 will not find out anything. You need to add more from the source to satisfy readers' interest in your hook fact. Yoninah (talk) 18:53, 5 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@Yoninah: I have expanded the content of the article in the paragraph covering ALT3, and for ALT0 and ALT1 to a smaller extant. While I take your point about more details being needed, I'm not sure exactly what is needed in this particular case, are my new additions enough? As possible alternatives, I submit the following hooks.CSJJ104 (talk) 23:17, 5 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]
ALT4:... that when Bertha Park High School opened, all the pupils were provided with iPads, but had to lock their own phones in lockers?
ALT5:~~... that Bertha Park High School was the first new high school in Scotland since 2002?~~

Thank you, your additions are good. ALT4 is good; hook ref verified and cited inline. ALT4 good to go. Yoninah (talk) 23:28, 5 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]