Talk:Battle of Ibera/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Hog Farm (talk · contribs) 01:59, 5 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Looks interesting, and you recently reviewed one of my noms, so I'll give this one a look. Hog Farm _Bacon 01:59, 5 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

As always, willing to discuss any and all of these, as I'm probably wrong.

Lead

I think you should directly state which war this was fought in somewhere in the lead. In fact, "Second Punic War" is only mention in the short description, the infobox, the references, and the navboxes.

Very good point. Fixed.

" Both sides are reported to have suffered heavy casualties, the Carthaginians' may have been very heavy" - I'd use a semicolon instead of a comma here, not sure if this is a grammar thing or a stylistic preference though

Done.

Primary sources

"Livy, who relied heavily on Polybius[8]," - punctuation before ref

Done.

Pre-war

"The First Punic War was fought between Carthage and Rome, the two main powers of the western Mediterranean in the 3rd century BC struggled for supremacy primarily on the Mediterranean island of Sicily and its surrounding waters, and also in North Africa" - Something seems to have gone awry in this sentence

Yep - I messed up the punctuation. Try it now.

" In spring 219 BC Rome declared war on Carthage." - I'm probably wrong/ignorant on this, but I thought that this happened in 218 BC? I was also taught the Lost Cause of the Confederacy as historical fact in school growing up, so the textbook's accuracy on pre-Christian event may be suspect, too.

War was formally declared on the floor of the Carthaginian Senate by the Roman Fabius. My 219 BC was a typo. Careless of me not to have picked it up on copy edit. Thanks for being on the ball.

Carthage invade Italy

Link the Rhone

Done.

Opposing forces

Skirmishers is overlinked

Fixed.

Aftermath

Maybe fully introduce who Lazenby and Bagnall are? First mentions of them are just by last names. Bagnall also has an author-link, so you can link him

Oops. I think I edited out earlier mentions. Thanks. Fixed.

"On at least one occasion the Scipios complained to the senate regarding this lack of reinforcement" - Should Senate be capitalized here, as it's referring specifically to the Roman Senate?

Debatable. Done, but I am honestly a bit unsure how the MoS applies here.

Nice work. Placing on hold. Hog Farm _Bacon 00:32, 6 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Hi Hog Farm: thanks for that. All done. Gog the Mild (talk) 10:27, 6 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]