Talk:Basil Collyns/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk · contribs) 10:03, 22 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

I'll get to this shortly. Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 10:03, 22 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Prelim

No duplicated links
No edit wars
Source links on File:Hawker Hurricane.jpg are broken. Other images are correctly licensed

I have replaced the image. Zawed (talk) 09:08, 23 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Earwig reports no copyvio

Lede and infobox

"achieved a number of aerial victories until his death on 20 August." suggest stating the exact number of victories here

I've rephrased the lead to deal with another issue you noted below. Zawed (talk) 10:29, 8 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

"before being killed in action" instead of "until his death"

Done. Zawed (talk) 10:29, 8 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Service years has its own parameter in the infobox

Well duh, I know that! Facepalm . Added. Zawed (talk) 10:29, 8 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Lede currently reads like he was part of No. 65 Sqn when he was killed

Rephrased and mentioned D-Day as well. Zawed (talk) 10:29, 8 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Early life

Link bantamweight

Done. Zawed (talk) 10:37, 8 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Not sure exactly what the "1930 school athletic sports" were, but if it was just a school-wide competition I think his second place in the high jump and cricket ball throwing skills are probably a little trivial - saying he was a successful sportsman might be more appropriate

I've trimmed this - that was added by another editor and I agree that it is somewhat trivial to mention it here. Zawed (talk) 10:37, 8 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Link commission

Done. Zawed (talk) 10:37, 8 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Is Marlborough a place that could be linked?

Done. Zawed (talk) 10:37, 8 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Second World War

Link Second World War (!)

Done. Zawed (talk) 10:45, 8 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Could add nickname to infobox

Done. Zawed (talk) 10:45, 8 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

"on 5 March 1940" awkward reading when you've discussed dates in 1940 without including the year before this

Rejigged some of the mentions of date and dropped the year here. Zawed (talk) 10:45, 8 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Ibid next sentence year repetition

Done. Zawed (talk) 10:45, 8 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Link sorties

Done. Zawed (talk) 10:45, 8 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

He trained on Hurricanes; was this what 238/601/1 Sqns flew?

Have added. Zawed (talk) 01:44, 10 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Did he see combat/service with 601?

Have add mention of one sortie. Zawed (talk) 01:44, 10 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

I know we've discussed exact dates for promotions and the like in the past; I think it would be useful to know how soon after his first kill he was promoted. This would all be a lot easier if the London Gazette had carried all the promotions..!

Have mentioned more precisely the time of promotion. I haven't put the precise date as one thing I try to do with fighter pilot articles, which I find are often "date heavy" is to vary the language for expressing dates - so if an exact date is in the same or near sentence, I often will say week/month later rather than an exact date. Zawed (talk) 01:44, 10 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

What are we considering a "tour of operations" to be?

I actually don't know for sure. I *think* it is about 12 months but that may depend on how many sorties were flown in that period as well. Zawed (talk) 01:44, 10 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

You provide the associated RAF station for some of his squadrons but not all? E.g. 601, 60 OTU, 485

Added. Zawed (talk) 01:44, 10 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

You're very selective about which units get put on the infobox list and which don't; what's your criteria?

The period of service with some squadrons were quite brief and don't, to my mind, justify going into the infobox. I have put the major ones in though. Zawed (talk) 01:44, 10 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

What did 222 fly?

Have added. Zawed (talk) 02:18, 10 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Suggest noting that CGS was at Sutton Bridge

Done. Zawed (talk) 01:44, 10 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

AFDU flew some interesting stuff; are there any more details about what he was doing during the collision flight (and can you say when it was)?

Have added the date, but nothing else is available. Zawed (talk) 02:18, 10 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Does he only serve at 1493 in June? When is he posted to 65?

Have added month of posting for 65. Zawed (talk) 02:18, 10 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Move the Normandy link to first occurrence

Done. Zawed (talk) 02:18, 10 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

"On 19 April" I assume that this is 1944 but you don't say for sure

Should be clear now that I have clarified his posting to 65; I think I may have intended to do this when writing up the article but forgot. Zawed (talk) 02:18, 10 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Do we know what he was shot down by?

No info in the sources. Zawed (talk) 02:18, 10 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

References

References look good, all links work. Might suggest splitting ref. #12 but that's a very minor quibble

Have gone ahead and split the ref. Zawed (talk) 02:19, 10 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

@Zawed: That's my initial run through finished. Per my earlier edit summary sincere apologies for taking so long on this. Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 16:07, 5 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

@Pickersgill-Cunliffe:, thanks for the thorough review. I have dealt with/responded to the various issues identified. Cheers, Zawed (talk) 02:19, 10 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

@Zawed: Passing this article as satisfying the GA criteria. Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 13:02, 11 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]