Talk:Avalanche United/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Wetrorave (talk · contribs) 20:53, 18 June 2021 (UTC)[reply]

One more review for the day

Good Article review progress box

Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()

3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()

Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

Add the city and country where Studio 159 is located, in accordance with style guidelines of T:Ia#studio
Use Singles template here

"I Am the Avalanche. I Surrender Records released the album on" > "I Am the Avalanche, released by I Surrender Records on"
"self-titled debut album" > "eponymous debut album"
"activity by the band slowed." > "the band's activity slowed."
"spent several months between February and July 2011 recording their next album" > "recorded Avalanche United between February and July 2011"
"features material written by Caruana and guitarist Mike Ireland." > "also features material written guitarist Mike Ireland." - since it was already mentioned that "Vocalist Vinnie Caruana went through a divorce and subsequently wrote an abundance of material.", there is no need to repeat it

Retitle to Background and recording
again, "self-titled debut album" > "eponymous debut album"
"they were out of the public eye for some time, the band" > "the band was of the public eye for some time, they"^[a]
"Vocalist, Vinnie" > "Vocalist Vinnie"
Change "Seattle, Washington" to simply "Seattle" and wikilink to Seattle
Wikilink New York City to New York City
"The producer, Machine," > "American musician Machine" since Brett Romnes was the producer
Wikilink mastered at "Douches mastered the album" to mastering (audio)

"has been described as" > "explores"
"melodic hardcore,^[7] and punk rock.^[8]" > "melodic hardcore and punk rock.^[7]^[8]"
"Caruana said: "[Avalanche United] stands" > "Caruana said that it "stands"
"is about dying young." - try to expand on this sentence: how exactly do the lyrics portray "dying young"?

"added, the music" > "added that the music"
"Blare included the album on their top 50 albums of the year list." > ""Blare ranked Avalanche United as the 42th best album on their top 50 albums of the year list."

All Blare refs are dead; add |url-status=dead to them or replace the existing |url-status parameters on them

On hold until issues are fixed—I may not be able to respond in the following days, but I swear I'll be here on Monday

@Yeepsi: I've been able to come back here on Sunday anyways, so here goes the GA. ✓ Pass. Wetrorave (talk) 02:31, 21 June 2021 (UTC)[reply]

^ Though relatively advanced, I'm not a native English speaker, so you choose either "the band was" or "the band were"