Talk:Ario Pardee/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Canada Hky (talk · contribs) 18:03, 14 March 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Hello! I am happy to take a shot at reviewing this article for GA status. I typically do a read through, post any thoughts / comments / suggestions and then after that is complete, go through the checklist criteria. I look forward to helping improve this article. Canada Hky (talk) 18:03, 14 March 2019 (UTC)[reply]

General comments

The lead is a bit short for an article of this length. I would suggest at least one sentence to cover each of the subsections in the article itself.

Let me know what you think of the new lead

Is there an appropriate wikilink for "rodman" (or possibly "surveyor").

I struggled with this initially, I've added a wlink to surveying to show what field it is in.

There are several sentences with multiple commas that are bordering on run-on. These may be better broken up, or reqorked for smoother punctuation. Examples: "After a brief trip to Michigan, where his parents had relocated to, Pardee settled down in Hazleton, Pennsylvania and signed on with the Hazleton Railroad and Coal Company as a superintendent" and "The building was burned down again, in an act of arson, in 1897, but was again rebuilt by 1899".

Fixed both of these (second one didn't need the commas after all)

Pictures all look good. Appropriately licensed and placed in the article. ALT Text may be helpful.
In the body of the article, there is no mention of the "founding father of Hazleton".

Good spot, I've changed it to more accurately reflect the sources.

No copyvios found from the sources I could find online.
No disambiguation links that need to be fixed.
The wording in the last section about the children is a bit confusing. What is the birth order of the 9 children (if it is known)? The wording about the deceased twin makes it seem like Israel would be the youngest?

Let me know if you think this wording is any better.

Is Elizabeth's year of death known?

Another good catch, added.

"Within months he fell in love with her, and they later married" - this is not really encyclopedic wording, can it be tightened up? Y

Those are my initial thoughts. This was an enjoyable article to read, and I think it only needs minor tweaks to pass. I am happy to discuss any of these. Canada Hky (talk) 18:56, 14 March 2019 (UTC)[reply]

@Canada Hky: thanks for reviewing this! I'll go through this over the weekend, if not sooner. Catching me at a busy time in real life, but upon quickly reviewing that list I should be able to fix most of them rather easily. Appreciate your support. SEMMENDINGER (talk) 20:37, 14 March 2019 (UTC)[reply]

@Canada Hky: Found some free time during lunch to take another look over this. I think I've made all the appropriate changes! SEMMENDINGER (talk) 16:35, 15 March 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Specific criteria reviewed

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not) Thank you very much for taking the time to address all my comments. I made one minor tweak to the lead, but i think this article now meets GA criteria.

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
The prose is clear and easy to understand.
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
No issues with this criteria.
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail: - thank you very much for your nomination and your time in helping to improve based on my suggestions. Canada Hky (talk) 13:18, 17 March 2019 (UTC)[reply]