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Talk:Annie Dove Denmark/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Sammielh (talk · contribs) 11:37, 6 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]


Good Article review progress box
Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()
3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

I'll take a look at this article. I've starting making comments below. The article is in really good shape so most comments are quite minor points. Sammielh (talk) 11:37, 6 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Lead and Infobox

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Early life and education

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Career

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  • "at Buies Creek Academy—now Campbell University—..." In all previous instances of a university changing names, you've linked the original name, I don't have a preference but it should be consistent
    • I'm not sure I understand -- from what I can find, I refer to a school's present-day name five times, and each time the present-day name is linked: Anderson University (lead), Meredith College (lead), Campbell University (career), Shorter University (career), and Anderson again (career). I can't find an instance where I link the original name when it's written next to the present-day name. In the lead I do link "Buies Creek Academy" to Campbell's page and "Shorter College" to Shorter University but that is because (a) they are not all that central to her life (at least, compared to Meredith and Anderson) and (b) the present-day names are given in the "Career" section. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 19:09, 7 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • "She received a net monthly salary of $36 in this position, getting a total of $45 monthly and spending $9 on board" This might be a good place to use {{inflation}}
  • I'm not a huge fan of 'getting' in "getting a total of $45 monthly"... perhaps "being paid a total of $45 monthly", as I believe this is a bit clearer
  • Link J. A. Campbell
  • "During the 1916–1917 academic year, she traveled back to New York to study at the Virgil Piano School under Alberto Jonás,[8] and Denmark joined the faculty of Anderson College—now Anderson University—in Anderson, South Carolina, as instructor of piano and harmony in 1917.[8] " I think this should be two separate sentences as I'm not seeing how they are related
  • "as the instructor of piano and harmony in 1917"
  • "Denmark also served as the director of religious activities in addition to teaching"
  • Do we know what her B.A. from Anderson was in?
  • "That same year, Denmark was appointed dean of women at Anderson by President John E. White" I don't think we need Anderson repeated here
  • "Dr. Charles E. Burts and Dr. R. C. Burts, brothers who were both from Newberry, South Carolina, each refused the job, and Dr. A. J. Barton, from Nashville, Tennessee,..." I'm not sure what the locations add; is it meant to indicate that they aren't teaching at Anderson at the time? If they are, I would replace this with their position at the college (if known), otherwise I would replace it with the university where they were teaching (again, if known)
  • Do we know who J. Dexter Brown is?
    • No, not really; the text from the source is as follows: We have no official record of events leading up to the election of Dr. Denmark as president. We do know that Mr. J. Dexter Brown first suggested her name because he knew of her ability. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 19:47, 7 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • "at their meeting on December 15, 1927, meeting To avoid the awkwardly placed comma

I'll keep going through the rest of the prose and the sources as soon as possible. Sammielh (talk) 11:37, 6 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

@Sammielh most of the suggestions above are done, some responses left as well. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 19:49, 7 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Rest of Career

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Later life and death

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Legacy

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I'll take a look at the sources as soon as possible. Comments above as well. Sammielh (talk) 22:37, 9 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

@Sammielh: I have taken care of the newest comments, still have a couple things to double-check on from earlier. No rush on the source analysis. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 19:08, 11 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]
@Sammielh Just wanted to give you a reminder ping. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 03:50, 21 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]
@PCN02WPS So sorry, I completely forgot about this. Sammielh (talk) 20:03, 22 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Sources & Misc.

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If you just come back to me on a few things above, I'm more than happy to pass this. For now, I'll place it on hold. Sammielh (talk) 20:03, 22 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

@Sammielh most everything taken care of, see comments above. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 18:48, 24 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]
@PCN02WPS Perfect, happy to promote! Sammielh (talk) 11:58, 26 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]