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GA Review

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This review is transcluded from Talk:Anky van Grunsven/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 13:35, 2 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

  • Rightly or wrongly, Anky is notorious for Rollkur, so I'm surprised to see this is entirely absent from the lead.
  • Added. - DB

Do we normally refer to people as "champion" in the lead, why not just "dressage rider" or "equestrian"?

  • No, not normally. But it's ANKY... :) Seriously, though, if anyone is worthy of the title "dressage champion" it's her, and given her record I think it's appropriate - I can find dozens of references that call her this, along with "star", "superstar", "queen", and so many other non-neutral accolades. - DB
  • "a Dutch dressage champion" with two consecutive linked words, it might appear that there's such a thing as "Dutch dressage". We don't need to link Dutch really.
  • Delinked Dutch. - DB
  • "for the highest number of " replace "highest number of" with "most".
  • Fixed. - DB
  • " the record for the most successive wins in any Olympic equestrian event" I find this a little bit clunky, sure it's a record, but perhaps it's better to phrase it as "the only rider to record three successive Olympic wins in the same event".
  • Fixed. - DB
  • Before you use WEG, it should be in parentheses after the expanded version.
  • Fixed. - DB
  • "for the greatest number of wins" -> "for the most wins"
  • Fixed. - DB
  • "making a major comeback" was it "major" because it was the Olympics? Or because it won? Or something else?
  • Because he made it back to the Olympics after basically being ready to retire, and not only did he make the Dutch team, he took sixth individually and third with the team. For what was basically a has-been horse to still be good enough to beat all but five riders in the world is...freaking amazing. - DB
  • "She was born in in Erp, North Brabant.[1] Van Grunsven began" -> "Van Grunsven was born in Erp, .... and began..."
  • Fixed. - DB
  • "who would later take her to" -> "who she would later ride"? The horse didn't take her there.
  • Fixed. - DB
  • "winning the highest number of " see above.
  • Fixed. - DB
  • " in the sport of dressage" is "the sport of" required?
  • Fixed. - DB
  • Infobox, every location in the Worlds and Euros links to the single article about the tournament, whereas the links in the Olympics section link to the specific events. Confusing for our readers.
  • All of the WEG entries now link to the specific event. We don't have articles on most of the European championships, and I'd rather not put a bunch of red links in the infobox, but I did link the couple of events that we do have specific articles for. - DB
  • Infobox, a mix of "dressage" and "Dressage", any good reason?
  • Fixed. - DB
  • "at the most recent Games, in 2012 in London, " you don't need "the most recent" here as you go on to say which ones you're talking about.
  • Fixed. - DB
  • "Queen of the Kür" care to explain why and what that means?
  • The musical freestyle is also called the Kur, so when she's won nine of them, she gets called "queen of the kur". I added a bit to the text to try to make this more clear - did it help? - DB
  • "a 9-year " -> nine-year.
  • Fixed. - DB
  • Some refs have retrieval dates, some don't, be consistent.
  • The ones without access dates were journal articles with courtesy links, as opposed to webpages. I've now added access dates to the journal articles, though, because there were just a couple of them and they did stand out a bit. - DB

A few issues to resolve, so I'll put this on hold for the moment. The Rambling Man (talk) 14:41, 2 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you very much for the fast review! I think I have addressed everything above. Let me know if you have any further comments. Dana boomer (talk) 02:49, 3 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]
You're welcome, it's an interesting article, Anky is certainly an interesting topic. I made a few cosmetic changes, you can see the overall diff here, it's mainly my opinion, with the odd en-dash sprinkled in. As such, and following your updates above, I'm happy to promote the article to GA. Good work. The Rambling Man (talk) 11:29, 3 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]
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