Talk:Anaptychia ciliaris/GA2
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[edit]The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Reviewer: Jens Lallensack (talk · contribs) 01:57, 25 November 2023 (UTC)
Thanks for reviewing Jens! Esculenta (talk) 19:47, 25 November 2023 (UTC)
- This species seems to have a common name: Great Ciliated Lichen
- I added this common name and another I found. Surprisingly, I wasn't able to find a recent source for "great ciliated lichen" that I would consider reliable (but a few web pages), so I used an older source. I'll update to something more recent should I find one. Esculenta (talk) 19:47, 25 November 2023 (UTC)
- post the Chernobyl disaster. – "after" or "following"? "Post" is a bit unusual for the general reader maybe.
- thallus – in the lead, needs to be linked and explained.
- Reworded and term linked. Esculenta (talk) 18:52, 26 November 2023 (UTC)
- branch dichotomously – unlinked term. But especially for the lead, this term might be avoided altogether.
- I've removed the term from the lead, and explained in text when it appears later. Esculenta (talk) 18:52, 26 November 2023 (UTC)
- pubescent appearance – don't know what that means.
- Removed (not necessary for the lead). Esculenta (talk) 19:47, 25 November 2023 (UTC)
- It forms extensive colonies with linear structures known as laciniae. – This is hard to understand (without having read the remainder of the article yet). Maybe it could be more descriptive?
- I've rewritten to make it more explicit what laciniae are. Esculenta (talk) 18:52, 26 November 2023 (UTC)
- laminal, stipitate, to subsessile. – at least, these need links.
- Now explained and linked. Esculenta (talk) 18:52, 26 November 2023 (UTC)
- by Index Fungorum – I don't have a strong opinion on this one, but this detail does not seem pertinent to the article and could be removed.
- Removed. Esculenta (talk) 19:47, 25 November 2023 (UTC)
- pycnidia, dorsiventral, medullary covering, spinules, hymenium. – link/explain
- Now linked, explained, or trimmed as excess detail. Esculenta (talk) 21:39, 26 November 2023 (UTC)
- In 1962, Kurokawa identified five forms of Anaptychia. – I am confused here. Maybe you wanted to refer to the species here instead of to the genus?
- My error, I meant the species name, fixed. Esculenta (talk) 19:47, 25 November 2023 (UTC)
- While it displays tendencies of both types, its classification often shifts between the two groups. – Why do you choose "while"? Shouldn't it be "Because" or similar? Maybe this sentence is not really needed in the first place.
- Reworded. Esculenta (talk) 21:39, 26 November 2023 (UTC)
- with a dorsiventral internal structure. – I have no idea what this means. What kind of internal "structure"? And this structure is dorsiventrally oriented?
- Ok, after reading on, I see it is explained. Maybe move this to that sentence, to have this statement and its explanation in the same sentence; it will be easier to follow.
- I wonder if you can, instead of "dorsiventral", simply say "layered"?
- I prefer to keep the term that's used in many descriptions of the species; hopefully it's explained more clealry now? Esculenta (talk) 21:39, 26 November 2023 (UTC)
- that repeatedly dichotomously branch, – Maybe you can just remove that term, or write "that often bifurcate" or similar? Or at least explain the term.
- These colonies are characterized by elongated, linear structures that repeatedly dichotomously branch, referred to as laciniae. – I wonder why this is specific to colonies. If you look at an individual "plant", you don't see these laciniae?
- They aren't specific to colonies; I've heavily copyedited the description (and other) sections now. Esculenta (talk) 19:43, 27 November 2023 (UTC)
- an upward, somewhat ascending orientation towards their tips – I don't think we need "towards their tips". They cannot be oriented towards anything else than their tips, right?
- Agree, trimmed. Esculenta (talk) 18:52, 26 November 2023 (UTC)
- which are then resulting somewhat upright in habit. – "resulting" too much here?
- Removed. Esculenta (talk) 19:47, 25 November 2023 (UTC)
- Beneath the laciniae, the thallus is – I have difficulty to imagine this. As I understood, the laciniae are like the stem of a tree. So there is something distinct beneath this "stems", something like roots?
- Please reread and see if the description is still confusing following my rewriting. The laciniae are the "units" that make up the thallus, equivalent to what are called "branches" in other fruticose lichens or the "lobes" of foliose lichens. Esculenta (talk) 19:43, 27 November 2023 (UTC)
- The laciniae themselves are approximately 300 μm thick. – earlier you stated that they are 2 mm in width.
- I've moved this statement to follow the prior statement so that the laciniae thickness and width measurements are in close proximity. Esculenta (talk) 18:52, 26 November 2023 (UTC)
- The upper cortex – Of what? Of the laciniae?
- I have still no idea how to imagine the base of the thallus. Is it expanded relative to the laciniae?
- The base appears as a bunch of laciniae growing outwards. Esculenta (talk) 19:43, 27 November 2023 (UTC)
- Apothecia, the reproductive structures of Anaptychia ciliaris, – I don't think you need to mention the species here; this statement is true for other lichens too.
- Fixed. Esculenta (talk) 19:47, 25 November 2023 (UTC)
- does not stain with iodine – maybe formulate this out ("when brought in contact with" or something). Not sure though. (Maybe this can be removed, because it is stated later that it does not react with any commonly used chemical).
- Trimmed. Esculenta (talk) 21:39, 26 November 2023 (UTC)
- Can this lichen be identified based on morphology in most of its range, or are microscopic or genetic analyses required to make species identifications?
- From what I understand, it's readily identifiable because of its peculiar growth form and lack of species it could be confused with (have never seen one in RL though). Esculenta (talk) 19:43, 27 November 2023 (UTC)
- The photobiont partner of Anaptychia ciliaris was first identified as the green algal species Trebouxia arboricola. – The "first identified" reads as if the photobiont partner is no longer identified as this algal species.
- Reworded. Esculenta (talk) 18:52, 26 November 2023 (UTC)
- This association was further affirmed in another study published the same year – You did not mention any year.
- Reworded. Esculenta (talk) 18:52, 26 November 2023 (UTC)
- possibly due to the longer lifespan of the fungus – longer than what?
- The photobiont, added. Esculenta (talk) 18:52, 26 November 2023 (UTC)
- more later. --Jens Lallensack (talk) 01:57, 25 November 2023 (UTC)
- A. ciliaris emerged as one of the top three lichen species in a biodiversity survey – What is the quality here that decides this ranking?
- Clarified. Esculenta (talk) 19:43, 27 November 2023 (UTC)
- The "Habitat and distribution" section and the "Biomonitoring" section are overlapping, as they are partly discussing the same topics. For example, the habitat section discusses occurrences and declines in several European countries except for the Netherlands, which are discussed in the Biomonitoring section only. Because of this, the habitat section seems to indicate that the UK is the only country with a steep decline in this lichen, which is obviously not the case. Also, both sections discuss causes of decline, but it is not very coherent. Maybe you can re-arrange the text for a more logical flow of information. Maybe a dedicated paragraph on causes of decline would be helpful.
- Less commonly, its presence is marked on both calcareous and acidic rocks – not sure what "is marked" means here. Why not simply "Less commonly, it is present on both calcareous and acidic rocks"?
- A noteworthy trait – See WP:Peacock.
- I've removed all instances of "noteworthy" and "notable" from the text. Esculenta (talk) 19:43, 27 November 2023 (UTC)
- Less commonly, its presence is marked on both calcareous and acidic rocks, as well as gravestones.[15] – Here you first discuss trees as substrates, then comes this sentence, and then you discuss trees again. Why not moving this after discussion of the trees, for a better succession of information?
- Historical North American literature has occasionally mentioned the presence of A. ciliaris, but such references are misinterpretations. In reality, North American instances refer to A. setifera, indicating that A. ciliaris is not native to the continent.[42] – That could be much more concise. Why not Historical literature has occasionally mentioned the presence of A. ciliaris in North America, but these instances actually refer to A. setifera. That should already say everything quite clearly.
- Made this text more concise. Esculenta (talk) 19:43, 27 November 2023 (UTC)
- post-war ash trees in Brabant. – What are post-war trees? Less then 75 years old?
- Yes; trimmed text to just "young trees". Esculenta (talk) 19:43, 27 November 2023 (UTC)
- and the ongoing trends of climate warming. – How does climate change benefit it, I thought it was a northern species?
- I'm not exactly sure, just paraphrasing from the author. I suppose upping the temp by a little bit generally helps the growth of many lichens in temperate regions, but I can't give any more details specific to this species. Esculenta (talk) 19:43, 27 November 2023 (UTC)
- In the realm of environmental science, A. ciliaris offers significant utility. Its degradation of chlorophyll into phaeophytin serves as a method to detect air pollution. – Why this lengthy introduction again when you were already discussing biomonitoring in the paragraph before?
- Reorganized the text to remove repetitive details. Esculenta (talk) 19:43, 27 November 2023 (UTC)
- In the Erkowit region of eastern Sudan – It's occurrence in Sudan is not mentioned under distribution
- Now rectified. Esculenta (talk) 19:43, 27 November 2023 (UTC)
- the lichen Anaptypia ciliaris – By now, the reader will know that it is a lichen. I would say either delete "the lichen" or "Anaptypia ciliaris".
- the early days – Can this be more specific? There is no information inside here, early days can mean anything.
- the decomposing section of thallus – should this be "the thallus"? A few sentences earlier you also omit the "the" in front of "thallus", so not sure if this is intended.
- Anaptypia ciliaris as his specimen. – But a species is not a specimen. Insert "individual"?
- based on its tree-substrate – not sure what that means. "Depending on the species of tree that serves as substrate"?
- Contrary to many lichens, A. ciliaris's apothecia reliably release spores in labs, suggesting sexual maturity and favourable sporulation conditions. – That doesn't make sense to me. When other lichen have "favourable sporulation conditions and are sexually mature, they do not "reliably release spores"? This reads more like something from the methods section of a paper.
- I've now explained why this species is special for these type of studies. Esculenta (talk) 19:43, 27 November 2023 (UTC)
- The spores displayed a distinct dispersal pattern, often sticking to the growth medium individually – I don't understand this.
- The study also revealed that glucose inhibited spore germination – no study was mentioned in this paragraph? What is "the study" referring to?
- Despite the many (mostly nitpicking) comments, I found this one easier to read than the family article that is currently at FAC. This could be a great FA candiate as well. --Jens Lallensack (talk) 02:05, 27 November 2023 (UTC)
- Thanks Jen. I've done a lot of copyediting/rewriting/trimming the text in response to your detailed review, and the unaddressed comments above have been dealt with in my revisions. Please have another look and see if it reads better. Esculenta (talk) 19:43, 27 November 2023 (UTC)
- Looks very good. Consider adding a sentence on population declines and causes of these declines to the lead. Promoting now. Jens Lallensack (talk) 20:24, 27 November 2023 (UTC)
- Thanks Jen. I've done a lot of copyediting/rewriting/trimming the text in response to your detailed review, and the unaddressed comments above have been dealt with in my revisions. Please have another look and see if it reads better. Esculenta (talk) 19:43, 27 November 2023 (UTC)
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.