Talk:Aimery of Cyprus/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Sturmvogel 66 (talk · contribs) 18:16, 27 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]

I'll get to this shortly--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 18:16, 27 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for your comprehensive and thorough review. I hope I addressed all problems. Please let me know if any further action is needed. I highly appreciat your assistance. Borsoka (talk) 01:30, 7 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Royal and noble titles are capitalized, so King of Cyprus, etc.

Done. Borsoka (talk) 01:30, 7 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]

the Kingdom of Jerusalem according to most barons of the realm, because of the death of Sibylla and their two daughters awkward

Done. (?) Borsoka (talk) 01:30, 7 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]

The new king of Jerusalem, Henry II of Champagne, arrested him for a short period. Clarify if this is Aimery or Guy

Done. Borsoka (talk) 01:30, 7 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]

You've got duplicate links that need to be removed

Done. Borsoka (talk) 01:30, 7 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]

claimed, Aimery no comma

Done. Borsoka (talk) 01:30, 7 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]

became the member "a" member?

Done. Borsoka (talk) 01:30, 7 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]

writes, Aimery's change the comma to "that"

Done. Borsoka (talk) 01:30, 7 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Aimery ~~fell into captivity~~ passive voice, "was captured"

Done. Borsoka (talk) 01:30, 7 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]

pope refuted refused

Done. Borsoka (talk) 01:30, 7 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]

French crusaders ~~demanded him to launch~~ "who demanded that he launch"

Done. Borsoka (talk) 01:30, 7 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]

An Egyptian emir seized a fortress near Sidon and made plundering raids against the neighboring territory. After Al-Adil failed to stop the emir, Aimery's fleet captured 20 Egyptian ships and he ~~broke into~~ "invaded" Al-Adil's realm. Awkward and when did this happen?

Done. (?) Borsoka (talk) 01:30, 7 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]

link Nile Delta

Done. Borsoka (talk) 01:30, 7 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]

The lawyers of the Kingdom of Jerusalem especially held him in high esteem.[69] He decided to revise the laws of the Kingdom of Jerusalem to specify royal prerogatives. Combine these two sentences--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 18:48, 6 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Alternative solution. Borsoka (talk) 01:30, 7 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]