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GA Review

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Reviewer: MarioSoulTruthFan (talk · contribs) 17:37, 5 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]


Infobox

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  • Recorded no source and not in the body of the article.
  • So the album was recorded in astore and in a house? Which house? Who lives in the "house"?
  • Neds alt

 Done

Lead

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  • Very poor lead.
  • Needs to be re-written.
  • Remove the source, add that to the body of the article
  • Add critical reception, singles release, compostion...

 Done

Background and composition

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  • Split the sections, one will be Background and the other compostion
  • the Canadian → Canadian
  • use MDY dates since it is an amrican artist
  • Julie Doiron, Sun Kil Moon and Karl Ove Knausgård → people are not familiar with these, it needs more depth
  • Elverum wrote the lyrics down longhand on her paper → He wrote the lyrics down longhand on her paper → what do you mean with her paper?
  • and that he made the record and released it → making and releasing the record in order to
  • Castrée's illness and death and Elverum's ensuing grief → Castrée's illness and death, and Elverum's ensuing grief
  • throughout, In regards → throughout. In regards
  • was quoted saying that → said
  • writer Molly Beauchemin wrote → writer Molly Beauchemin stated

 Done

Release

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  • Audio sample needs to be reduced and comply with WP:SAMPLE, on top of that move it to the compostion section.
  • discounted → what do you mean?
  • Despite this he still found releasing the album → do you mean he still was fond of releasing the album?
  • "re-enter the world," → remove this
  • Elverum, Elverum, Elverum...→ reaplce some of it with he
  • Pitchfork never calls them single, but Paste and Stereogum do. Added these source or others as long as they call them singles. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 13:54, 9 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

 Done

Reception

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  • Rename it to Critical Reception
  • The Professional ratings boxscore should come first
  • A Crow Looked at Me received widespread critical acclaim upon release. → full stop
  • "which Elverum found "reaffirming" although was frustrated by those who viewed it as a tribute." → after the critics perception
  • Consequence of Sound → Consequence of Sound's; Exclaim! → Exclaim!
  • Paste magazine → same as previous + wikilink Paste
  • Drowned in Sound, Tiny Mix Tapes → same as previous
  • X of, Y of, Z of → use the possisive form, use "from K magazine"...
  • Add more reviews.
  • Brian Roesler from which magazine? + since there is a full stop put the reference there and not after the Elverum comment. On top of that, remove the "A sentiment echoed by Elverum himself" statement as this is a critical recpetion section, add it to other section if you want. Regarding the Fan Reception it is quite bias, so remove it from here. Add to other topic if you want.

 Done

Accolades

[edit]
  • Remove the pitchfork logo and add the quote to the text, same goes for metacritic
  • 11th → eleventh
  • 80th → eightieth
  • of all time → full stop
  • Very poor section, needs to re-write and add Year-end lists with positions and comments, as well as Decade-end lists.
  • was ranked in third position of → was the third on
  • "writing that "“Real Death” is a sign of love, one that can bring you to your knees even if you know exactly what's coming" → a critic with a name wrote this, not a magazine
  • expand this section writing what magazines said regardin the album, since there are a lot of them, just use the one's the it made the top 10.

 Done

Track listing

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  • All tracks are written by Phil Elverum. → All tracks are written and produced by Phil Elverum + source?

 Done

Personnel

[edit]
  • Same as previous
  • Use {{spaced ndash}} so there is the right space between the credits and the personnel.
  • Isn't there one source, like liner notes?

 Done

Release history

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  • Unlink Unites States and Japan

 Done

References

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  • Don't SHOUT in references
  • npr.org. → remove
  • Bandcamp, AllMusic, The Creative Independent
  • Reference 18, 19 and 20 are missing work
  • Dates are missing in source 1, 10 20, 50, and others
  • Vice source is looking weird
  • Reference 48 is missing work, same for 51, 54-57
  • "pwelverumandsun"?
  • The Portland Mercury → Portland Mercury
  • Now Toronto → Now (newspaper)
  • 5 and 12 are the same source
  • One of the Paste magazine links is dead; "Mount Eerie Shares Deeply Personal "Real Death," Announces New Album A Crow Looked At Me"
  • Dates of the sources are all over the place, some use MDY format and other DMY format, use MDY dates since it is an american artist

 Done

[edit]
  • Fine

Overall

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  • Do you need all this pictures? Geneviève Castrée, Gloria Graham, and the picture with the caption of "Soria Moria" references Elverum's time in a Norwegian cabin, in which he wrote his 2008 album Dawn" need to go, the caption keep on the article.
  • You can now address the issues I pointed out, once you are done with them let me know. You have one week, I will give you a chance of improving this.

All problems have been resolved as well as additions per my discretion. MarioSoulTruthFanDMT biscuit (talk) 11:45, 9 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@DMT biscuit: and @Sparklism: left you various New comment, and a note on the infobox, address them. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 14:15, 9 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Additional comments have been adressed.@MarioSoulTruthFan: DMT biscuit (talk) 01:24, 10 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]