Talk:2011 24 Hours of Le Mans/GA1

GA Review

Passed. Adog (Talk・Cont) 11:51, 22 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Adog (talk · contribs) 21:46, 17 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Good Article review progress box

Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()

3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()

Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

I will also take on this one, as I will already be doing Talk:2017 24 Hours of Le Mans/GA1 (I will already be reading policy/guidelines for this one and other articles for research). This review, I will have done either Friday, August 18 or Saturday, August 19. Start revving your engines! Adog (Talk・Cont) 21:46, 17 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Hello once again. As with the previous review, the following are suggestions during my first skim through of the article for grammar and sentence structure fixes. If you do not happen to agree with the suggestions, or believe they are improper or not appropriate for the text, feel free to disregard them with a comment:

Prose

Lead

It was the third round of the 2011 Intercontinental Le Mans Cup, and the race's 79th edition ... Comma might not be needed here as these are connected thoughts.
An Audi R18 TDI—driven by Marcel Fässler, André Lotterer, and Benoît Tréluyer—started from the pole position, after Tréluyer set the fastest lap ... same as the previous comment. I would remove the comma after "position".
as well as to simply and?
The Greaves Motorsport team of Tom Kimber-Smith, Olivier Lombard, and Karim Ojjeh won the Le Mans Prototype 2 (LMP2) category, after leading for the ... As per for the first two comments, the comma after "category".
Audi's victory moved them closer to Peugeot in the LMP1 Manufacturers' Cup while Corvette's class victory ... Opposite here for the commas. I would add the comma after "Cup" for a needed pause.

Background

... 11 more than second-placed Ferrari, and 14 more than third-place Corvette Comma removal here as they are not independent clauses being connected here (NIC).
... followed by BMW Motorsport, with 26 points. NIC here, removal of comma.

Regulation changes

The ACO reduced fuel capacity for both petrol and diesel ... "both" may be an extra word to delete here.
... LM GTE Pro and LM GTE Am, based on 2009 LMGT2 rules,[8] This was done ... Punctuation instead of a comma here?
This was done to avoid multiple calendar clashes with several racing series ... Several other racing series?
one-year old to one-year-old.

Entries

The ACO received 71 applications by the deadline for entries ... "entry deadline" instead of "deadline for entries"?

Automatic entries

... they were permitted to change their cars from the previous year to the next ... "were permitted to" to "could"?
. Automatic invitations in the two GTE categories could be swapped between the two based on the driver line-ups chosen by those teams might read better without "between the two".

Entry list and reserves

Consequently, the No. 44 Extrême Limite AM Paris Norma MP200P-Judd BMW car was promoted ... it might be worth mentioning here initially who or what governance body did the promoting.

Testing and practice

... the test session was reintroduced to Le Mans for the first time since 2008, to allow manufacturers and teams to develop new technologies on their cars Remove comma after 2008 as NIC.
... two-tenths of a seconds behind ... "second" instead of "seconds".
... was the only driver to go below the 4-minute mark in LMGTE Pro, with a 3 minutes, 59.966 seconds lap to top the class. "a 3 minutes, 59.966 seconds" should be "a 3 minute, 59.966 second lap".
Audi and Peugeot drivers ... should be Audi and Peugeot's drivers ...
Same sentence, "a 3 minutes, 27.986 seconds" should be "a 3 minute, 27.986 second".
Jonny Kane's No. 42 Strakka HPD ARX-01d led LMP2 with a 3 minutes, 42.863 seconds lap ... "3 minute, 42.863 second lap" instead of the former.
Despite a dislodged power steering hose, the fastest non-BMW car was Jan Magnussen's third-place No. 74 Corvette. might read better as Despite a dislodged power steering hose, Jan Magnussen's third-place No. 74 Corvette was the fastest non-BMW car.
... struck the barrier exiting the Porsche Curves and damaged the car's front-left suspension and radiator, just before mid-point Remove comma, NIC.

Qualifying

The first of three two-hour qualifying sessions to set the race's starting order through the quickest lap times set by each team's fastest driver began late on a cool and dry June 8 night I would replace the second "set" with "established", and "June 8" should be "8 June".
The following sentence, "leading" to "led", and a comma before "Rockefeller"?
Kane put Strakka's car on provisional pole in LMP2, with a 3 minutes, 42.615 seconds ... Like the others here, singular "minute" and "second" here instead of plural.
At approximately 195 km/h (121 mph) and at 9.4 G ... I would remove the word "at" as it may be extra.
... and then to a 3 minutes, 26.156 lap in the second qualifying session. Marcel Fässler then overtook Sarrazin to move the No. 2 Audi to first with a 3 minutes, 25.961 seconds lap which he held until the session ended. Few things between these sentences. Same changes to the "seconds" and "minutes" here, need to be singular rather than plural. "seconds" after "26.156" should be added. Comma after "which" in the latter sentence.
Ayari reset LMP2's quickest lap time to a 3 minutes, 41.458 seconds time for Signatech. Premat improved the Oreca Matmut car while Pierre Kaffer moved the PeCom Lola-Judd vehicle to second and third in class, respectively. Few things for these sentences also, same change to singular rather than plural use of "minutes" and "seconds". I would remove "time" after "seconds" as it may be redundant. Comma before "while" in the latter sentence.
... bettered the No. 2 car's provisional pole lap before Benoît Tréluyer reset the fastest time to a 3 minutes, 25.738 seconds, ... Same plural to singular transition of "minutes" and "seconds".
Signatech's second-session lap did not improve on Ayari's lap; and Ayari thus secured the LMP2 pole position. The semi-colon here could be a comma.
... as the No. 56 BMW fell to third after not being able to partake in the session, following Priaulx's second-session accident Removal of comma as it is NIC.

Qualifying results

"gray" should be "grey" per British variant.

Warm-up

Mallieux's Signatech entry led LMP2 with a 3 minutes, 43.449 seconds lap. Same here, "3 minutes, 43.449 seconds" should be "3 minute, 43.449 second" because of the "a".

Taking a break here for the moment or the night. I will continue thereafter. Adog (Talk・Cont) 05:12, 20 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Race

Start to early evening

Aston Martin Racing lost both of its LMP1-class AMR Ones during the first hour when Darren Turner beached the No. 009 car ... I would change the wording here from "beached" to another synonym per the last review, as a reader might interpret it differently.
Possible missing word "to" before "allow" in the sentence ... striking the outside tyre wall at high speed, through a gap designed allow cars ...
You may consider deleting "amount of" in the sentence: ... reducing the amount of available downforce. for clarity.
I would remove the comma in the sentences: Davidson took the lead in the No. 7 Porsche from Fässler's No. 2 Audi, since his car could go longer between pit stops and Davidson's No. 7 Peugeot and Fässler's No. 2 Audi exchanged the race lead during the sixth hour, until Fässler was able to establish a minute's lead over the rest of the field.
LMP2 became a duel for first between Prémat and, later, Kraihamer's Oreca and Danny Watts' Strakka car, which was gaining on the Oreca Here I would consider changing "duel" to "contest" as it involved more than one set of duels.

Night to dawn

Gené fell back from Lotterer in the duel for the overall lead; and the No. 7 Peugeot was put under pressure by Rockenfeller's No. 1 Audi, ... Possibly change the semi-colon the a comma.
... causing an oil leak that was repaired by Lynn before the car's clutch burned out. might read better as ... causing an oil leak that Lynn repaired before the car's clutch burned out.
Watts moved the Strakka LMP2 car to second in category ... Possible missing word "the" before "category".
Russo lost control of the third-place PeCom car in the Porsche Curves, when it suddenly drove right into the barrier Comma might not be needed here, NIC.
... a front nose cone change during pit stop fixed the problem. Possible missing word "a" or "the" before "pit".
Wikilink Telemetry.
Jean-Christophe Boullion substantially damaged the front of the No. 13 Rebellion in an accident at the Porsche Curves but he was unhurt. Add a comma before "but".
Did this differently EnthusiastWorld37 (talk) 19:23, 21 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
... but lost the lead when Davidson overtook him on the inside entering Indianapolis corner. Two things here, comma before "entering" and missing word "the" before "Indianapolis".
... and Christophe Bouchut's No. 33 Level 5 Motorsports entry to third in category. Possible missing word "the" before "category".

Morning to finish

front-end to front end
... requiring him to temporarily relinquish the LMGTE Am lead to Gabriele Gardel's No. 50 Larbre, when Neiman entered the garage with liquids leaking from the car's rear. I would remove the comma after "Larbre" per as NIC.
he Corvette and Porsche were both forced to retire due to the accident; Change semi-colon to comma here.
refueling to refuelling if British variant.
Audi instructed Tréluyer to slow and not put another lap on Davidson Possible missing word "down" before "and".
Lotterer replaced Tréluyer during a routine pit stop before the No. 2 Audi was slowed by another Peugeot, this time by Montagny's No. 8 entry ... might read better as Lotterer replaced Tréluyer during a routine pit stop before another Peugeot slowed the No. 2 Audi, this time by Montagny's No. 8 entry ...
Same sentence, remove comma after "entry".
Rain returned to the track during the 22nd hour, and some cars were caught out by the change in conditions is a little bit awkward for the latter half. I understand it because of the next sentences, but readers may not initially understand what this means. I would consider rephrasing to: Rain returned to the track during the 22nd hour, which caused some cars to be caught in the changing weather condition. or something of the like.
was temporarily beached Same here with the "beached" phrasing.
I would consider making a subsection for the last paragraph as "Finish" and retitling the last section.
Lotterer was able to pull way ... "away" instead of "way".
... and the No. 2 Audi was the first to finish, after 355 laps ... I would remove the comma here, NIC.
Greaves was undaunted for the final 137 laps in LMP2; and drivers Kimber-Smith, Lombard, and Ojjeh claimed their first class wins as well as Nissan's first since 2000. I would start a new sentence where the semi-colon is.
The No. 8 Peugeot, driven by the headache-affected and visually impaired Minassian, due to overnight car vibrations, finished two laps behind in third place might read better as Due to overnight car vibrations, the No. 8 Peugeot, driven by the headache-affected and visually impaired Minassian, finished two laps behind in third place.

Post-race

For the quotes here, same with the last article of quotes within quotes per MOS:QINQ using the {{" '}} and/or {{' "}} templates.
- Tried to do my best with this point EnthusiastWorld37 (talk) 19:23, 21 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
He also said he did not deliberately collide with Lotterer and that the closed-cockpit Peugeot allowed him to only observe the latter whilst braking. might read better as He also said he did not deliberately collide with Lotterer and that the closed-cockpit Peugeot allowed him only to observe the latter whilst braking.
McNish was advised not to travel, so he could recover from body trauma Possible missing word "that" after "so".
Audi team principal Wolfgang Ullrich said that the closed-cockpit vehicle design did not provide as wide a view as from an open-cockpit car but denied that the team's two major race accidents were caused by visibility-related issues. might read better as Audi team principal Wolfgang Ullrich said that the closed-cockpit vehicle design did not provide as wide a view as from an open-cockpit car but denied that visibility-related issues caused the team's two major race accidents.

Race results

Class winners are marked in bold. Cars failing to complete 70 per cent of winner's distance (249 laps) are marked as Not Classified (NC) Possible missing word "the" before "winner's".

References

2, I have not looked into the source's contents, but I believe it is unreliable as it is an encyclopedia.
- I've seen Encyclopedi Brittanica used a source in featured works in the post but nevertheless I have replaced the source EnthusiastWorld37 (talk) 19:23, 21 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
9 & 59, as with the last review, I would make this source into a Bibliography source to help readers distinguish what page number is attributed to the passage.
33, 35, etc., I saw the "publisher" parameters are different from the other review on 2017 24 Hours of Le Mans. Should these be publisher parameters or website parameters?
- I'd say it was more personal preference EnthusiastWorld37 (talk) 19:23, 21 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Additional comments or concerns

The article looks pretty good on the skim through. Checks to grammar/sentence structure. I will do a full read through now. Adog (Talk・Cont) 01:53, 21 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Consider adding ALT text.
For the talk page, I would add the {{British English}}
If I missed any in the text, any time figure that the word "a" precedes it should be in the singular "minute/second" rather than the plural "minutes/seconds".
In the lead: On April 24, six weeks prior, a test day was held. Dating here should reflect British variant On 24 April ...
The first paragraph for the lead might benefit from knowing how many entrants and participants there were.
In "Regulation changes", silver- or bronze-rated should be silver or bronze-rated
In "Entry list and reserves", ... announcement of entries for the 2011 ILMC,[13] In addition to the 26 full-season entries ... should have a punctuation here.
In "Testing and practice", On April 24 ... as On 24 April ...
Same section, first instance of "tyre wall" wikilinked to Tire wall.
In "Qualifying", The first of three two-hour qualifying sessions ... should have a comma between "three" and "two-hour". Same sentence, June 8 night to 8 June night.
Same section, In the third session, Dumas, in the No. 1 Audi, bettered the No. 2 car's provisional pole lap ... "bested" instead of "bettered"?
In subsection "Night to dawn" sentence: Rockenfeller's car was sent spearing left into the Armco barrier at high speed, destroying the Audi and around 20 metres (66 ft) of barrier, with the car recrossing the road and scattering much debris on it I would put a semi-colon and delete "and" in the latter half of the sentence.
In "Post-race", wikilink Gamesmanship.

@EnthusiastWorld37: Apologies for the repetition in the review phrasing and the slight delay from when I stated I would finish the review. Hopefully, it is not a bore to go over or too poignant. Usually, when I see repeating themes for longer articles, I try to copy + paste or to keep concise phrasing to better simplify the problem to be fixed. :) At this point (depending on if you are on Wiki), I have pretty much finished the suggestion/fixes part of the review besides the spot checks to come and the full report. I will post the spot checks shortly within the hour, and it will be below this sentence if there are any issues. Ping is for you to jump-start if you are feeling like it! Adog (Talk・Cont) 03:33, 21 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

@Adog: Have made several changes to the article based on the points raised above and have commented where appropriate. What else will need to be addressed? EnthusiastWorld37 (talk) 19:23, 21 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

For the table in "Automatic entires", I believe there are misplaced names in the box. For instance: "1st in the Petit Le Mans France Team Peugeot Total United States Patrón Highcroft Racing United States Corvette Racing" is listed but the source says “LM” P1 TEAM PEUGEOT TOTAL “LM” P2 OAK RACING “LM” GTE CORVETTE RACING. I am not super well-versed and got confused looking at this source, so I ask to double-check.
- They are not misplaced in the table EnthusiastWorld37 (talk) 19:23, 21 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
@EnthusiastWorld37: Article is looking good! I am still confused about the "Automatic entries for the 2011 24 Hours of Le Mans" box pertaining to the Petit Le Mans. The box currently attributes LMP 2 as Patron, but the source states Oak Racing. I am not sure if I am still reading that wrong...the other two match "Peugeot" and "Corvette", just not "Patron" to "Oak". Plus, I did see the LMS Green X Challenge has "IMSA PERFORMANCE MATMUT" for their LMGTE class. Should that be included in the box labeled "LMGT" as well? Adog (Talk・Cont) 21:39, 21 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
I've redone the table based on the source; normally, there is an public release of the automatic entries, but somehow for the 2011 race, it appears that this was not done EnthusiastWorld37 (talk) 06:19, 22 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Passing! Adog (Talk・Cont) 11:50, 22 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Well written + verifability

The article is well written, with grammar and sentence structure fixes highlighted above to fix. The article follows a general manual of style layout consistent with the general race car series. The article's reference layout is good for the most part with some concerns above. The article cites a variety of interesting and informing reliable sources on the race subject (between this review and the last, wow there is a lot of play-by-play articles). In terms of spot checks, the article has some issues highlighted above ~~was smooth sailing on this one with both figures and passages checked~~. In terms of Earwig here, it does highlight two sources fully because of the table's contents of the race's results. I think that is unavoidable so I will pass on that. The rest of the copyright/plagiarism/close paraphrasing are good with quotes highlighted only. Adog (Talk・Cont) 04:51, 21 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Broadness + focus + neutral

The article covers the topic in both a broad and focused stance. The contents are not overtly one way or the other, just right. The article is neutral towards the subject with fair perspectives. Adog (Talk・Cont) 03:33, 21 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Images + stability

The article has images that are relevant to the content. The paperwork for the images seems proper, no complaints. The article is stable without any ongoing or active edit conflicts. Adog (Talk・Cont) 01:53, 21 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.