Talk:2003 24 Hours of Le Mans/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk · contribs) 18:28, 10 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

1. Prose Lead

24 hour race - should there be a hyphen between 24 and hour?
- No I wouldn't say so in this instance MWright96 (talk) 08:24, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  - That's fine Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 14:44, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
from pole position - from the pole position
- Done MWright96 (talk) 08:24, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
with a Alex Job Racing - with an Alex Job Racing
- Done MWright96 (talk) 08:24, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Background and regulation changes

Again, clarify that Faroux's proposal started the 1st 24 Hours of Le Mans, not this one specifically.
- Done MWright96 (talk) 08:24, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Link Charles Faroux
- Done MWright96 (talk) 08:24, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
the president of the automotive group, the Automobile Club de l'Ouest (ACO) - president of Automobile Club de l'Ouest (ACO), I think the link is enough explanation.
- Done MWright96 (talk) 08:24, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Then, put a comma before you start talking about Coquile
- Added MWright96 (talk) 08:24, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
entered into the LMGTS - I think it is supposed to be in. Into technically is used when moving from outside to inside.
- Done MWright96 (talk) 08:24, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
over a white line - should it be "the white line"
- Done MWright96 (talk) 08:24, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Add a ; after kerbing, and put a comma after otherwise
- Done MWright96 (talk) 08:24, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
It granted 50 invitations to the 24 Hours of Le Mans - probably can take out to the 24 Hours of Le Mans
- Done MWright96 (talk) 08:24, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Automatic entries

As entries were pre-selected to teams - As entries were designated for teams, or as entries were pre-selected by teams, whichever is accurate
- Chose the former MWright96 (talk) 08:24, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
they - change to "the teams," because the preceding clause modifies the subject (they makes it seem like entries is the subject)
- Reworded MWright96 (talk)
Last 2 sentences of paragraph start with Audi - one thing you could do is simply add However to the start of the 2nd sentence
- Done MWright96 (talk) 08:24, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Entry list

composed the field with 22 different makes - composed the field, representing 22 different makes - wording's just a little awkward the way it is now.
- Done MWright96 (talk) 08:24, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
wanted the field to be heterogeneousness, "This - wanted the field to be heterogeneous. "This
- Have changed it a little MWright96 (talk) 08:24, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  - I still don't think wanted the field to be heterogeneousness is grammatically correct. Doesn't wanted the field to be heterogenous work? Or, is there another way you could phrase it? @MWright96:
    - Reworded MWright96 (talk) 14:58, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Is Cosson's quote a translation? If so, try this instead - This is certainly not the right solution for the 24 Hours. We can only agree with our decisions, and we do not appreciate the people who spit in the soup. We will remember them.
- Have actually written it into my own words instead. MWright96 (talk) 08:24, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Bio-ethanol car

Change its to "The car's" on the second-to-last sentence.
- Done MWright96 (talk) 08:24, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Testing

was caught out by - spun out on
- Done with a minor difference to the one suggested MWright96 (talk) 08:24, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
a top three sweep - a top-three sweep
- Done MWright96 (talk) 08:24, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Qualifying

Eight hours...was available - change to were
- Done MWright96 (talk) 08:24, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
and Johnny Herbert bettering his effort - and Johnny Herbert, who bettered his effort
- Done MWright96 (talk) 08:24, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
was held in lower asphalt - was held with lower asphalt
- Done MWright96 (talk) 08:24, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
after seven minutes for an accident - after seven minutes because of an accident (the way you have it, it looks like the accident was planned (:)
- Done MWright96 (talk) 08:24, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
from the car by removing - from the car. They removed because putting him in the ambulance wasn't part of removing him from the car.
- Done MWright96 (talk) 08:24, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
to test cars in race conditions - to test cars under race condtions
- Done MWright96 (talk) 08:24, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
remained much of the same - remained mostly the same
- Done MWright96 (talk) 08:24, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Warm-up

sessiion - extra I
- Removed MWright96 (talk) 08:24, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
session commenced Romain Dumas - comma after commenced
- Done MWright96 (talk) 08:24, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

More to come! Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 19:00, 10 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Start

Thunderstorms were forecast, and at the start the weather was clear although a heavy rain shower fell on the track. - If a heavy shower fell on the track, the weather was not clear when it was coming down. Elaborate when the shower happened - if it preceded the race, then you can say that despite a heavy shower before the race, the weather was clear when the race began
- Rewritten MWright96 (talk) 08:24, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
passed Magnussen's Team Goh Audi in third - passed Magnussen's Team Goh Audi for third or passed Magnussen's Team Goh Audi, which fell to third whichever is correct
- Used the former MWright96 (talk) 08:24, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
for a return to the pit lane was unsuccessful - for a return to the pit lane proved unsuccessful
- Done MWright96 (talk) 08:24, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Not long after Capello - Not long after, Capello
- Done MWright96 (talk) 08:24, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
to stop the car spinning - to stop the car from spinning
- Done MWright96 (talk) 08:24, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
In the third hour Kristensen - In the third hour, Kristensen
- Done MWright96 (talk) 08:24, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
car relinquished the lead - car lost the lead (sounds less stilted). Or, you could change to Noël del Bello Racing's Reynard car of Didier André passed the RN Motorsport Zytek car as it was having its alternator changed
- Done MWright96 (talk) 08:24, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
3 hours and 40 minutes in safety cars were deployed to slow the race - Safety cars slowed the race for 3 hours and 40 minutes
- Done differently because the safety cars did not slow for 3 hours and 40 minutes MWright96 (talk) 08:24, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
to the category lead until - to take the category lead until
- Done MWright96 (talk) 08:24, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
to rectify a water leak and ceding - to rectify a water leak, ceding
- Done MWright96 (talk) 08:24, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Night

vehicle - take out an e :)
- Removed MWright96 (talk) 14:20, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
chicane but the car still led - run-on sentence, put period after chicane. "He managed to retain the lead."
- Added MWright96 (talk) 14:20, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"Soon after" - comma after after
- Added MWright96 (talk) 14:20, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
between the two Prodrive pair - redundant wording? Take out two, unless you are referring to two pairs.
- Changed the wording MWright96 (talk) 14:20, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Take out the comma after tyres, as well as the comma after laps
- Done MWright96 (talk) 14:20, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
C-Ford with all three drivers covered by 20 seconds - C-Ford; all three drivers were within 20 seconds of each other, more correct verb usage
- Done MWright96 (talk) 14:20, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
mechanic holding a jack to lift the car from the ground and a rear tyre fitter - since you've linked jack, probably safe to shorten it to mechanic with the jack and a rear tyre fitter
- Done MWright96 (talk) 14:20, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
through faster pace - through its faster pace
- Done MWright96 (talk) 14:20, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Soon after Beretta - Soon after, Beretta
- Done MWright96 (talk) 14:20, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
second placed car - second-place car
- Done MWright96 (talk) 14:20, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
was hindered with a - was hindered by a
- Done MWright96 (talk) 14:20, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
1-minute and 40 second - dashes between each of these words, since the time is being used as an adjective
- Done MWright96 (talk) 14:20, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Luhr's No. 83 Alex Job Racing Porsche succumbed to a punctured radiator caused by a sharp rock penetrating it and raising its oil and water temperatures - Luhr's No. 83 Alex Job Racing Porsche succumbed to raised oil and water temperatures caused by a sharp rock penetrating its radiator
- Reworded MWright96 (talk) 14:20, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Take out the comma after replaced
- Done MWright96 (talk) 14:20, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Mulsanne Straight and ceded - Mulsanne Straight and he ceded the way it is written now, it looks like the engine ceded the position
- Done MWright96 (talk) 14:20, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Morning to early afternoon

he sustained - he had sustained, since it happened prior to the examination
- Done MWright96 (talk) 14:20, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
a door and was taken - a door; he was taken
- Done MWright96 (talk) 14:20, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Not long after a - Not long after, a
- Done MWright96 (talk) 14:20, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
for a replacement battery and losing two - for a replacement battery, losing the car two
- DoneMWright96 (talk) 14:20, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
for four minutes and relinquishing the position - for four minutes, giving the position works better grammatically, kind of a run-on sentence the way it is now.
- Done MWright96 (talk) 14:20, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
only those two cars - which two cars?
- Clarified MWright96 (talk) 14:20, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Take the commas out of the last sentence of this paragraph, not needed
- Done MWright96 (talk) 14:20, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
a left-rear puncture and he lost control of the No. 15 Racing For Holland car under braking - a left-rear puncture, losing control of the No. 15 Racing For Holland car when he braked
- Done MWright96 (talk) 14:20, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
locked up ad made - locked up and made (reminds me of when I put "dingers" on Bruce Kison :) )
- Done :) MWright96 (talk) 14:20, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
a change of alternator in six minutes - for concision, a six-minute change of the alternator
- Done MWright96 (talk) 14:20, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Soon after Wallace's - Soon after, Wallace's
- Done MWright96 (talk) 14:20, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Chicane and causing - Chicane, causing
- Done MWright96 (talk) 14:20, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Finish

a pit stop b - take out the b
- Done MWright96 (talk) 14:20, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
and to be relieved by co-driver Pirro - and a driver switch with co-driver Pirro
- Done MWright96 (talk) 14:20, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Once these changes are addressed, it should be ready for GA status! Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 12:21, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

- @Sanfranciscogiants17: Have made the necessary changes to the article. Please do re-read the article to see if there are any more outstanding issues. MWright96 (talk) 14:20, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

2. Verifiability

Ref 20 seems dead
Ref 25 seems dead
Ref 30 seems dead
Ref 33 seems dead
- Archived all four references MWright96 (talk) 08:24, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

3. Depth of coverage

4. Neutral

5. Stable

6. Illustrations

7. Misc.

@MWright96: Now looks good, passing. Well done! Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 15:20, 11 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]