Wikipedia talk:Today's featured article/September 7, 2022

Nuclear explosion

Hi, Gog! Thanks for the blurb. I was wondering whether it would be possible to revise it a bit. More specifically, I think, that the blurb is missing the "nuclear explosion" part and the zoom to the girl's eye, which is an important part of the advertisement (and maybe the reason for its popularity). I have a draft prepared here, although it may need some copy-editing. Can you please take a look. Over to you. In either case, I respect your judgement! Thanks! – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 17:43, 14 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

You're free to edit it, as is anyone else up until the day before. Note that blurb length shouldn't exceed 1025 characters and right now we are at 1004. Your draft seems to be at 997.--Wehwalt (talk) 17:47, 14 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Yep. Feel free to replace the whole thing with your draft. That would be fine by me. Gog the Mild (talk) 18:28, 14 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Not all, but made some changes. Thanks! – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 18:41, 14 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

copyedit

as i am aware that this featured article's fac nominator prefers to keep comments out of the blurb itself, i thought it would be more appropriate for me to provide the reasoning for my edits here on the blurb talk page instead.

~~The "Daisy" advertisement~~	▶	captions are generally not used if they effectively restate the title of the featured article
"Daisy" → "Daisy"	▶	quotation marks that are not part of the article title are generally not linked, just like they are generally not bolded as per mos:", as seen in ids 1092535046 and 1099362426
addition of soft hyphens	▶	used soft hyphen for long words near start of blurb, as per diff 1100657311
on September 7, 1964,	▶	specific date added as it is relevant to blurb run date
~~the~~ political and advertising history	▶	conform with article lead
positions; contrary → positions, contrary	▶	"contrary to Goldwater's stance" is not an independent clause
Monique Corzilius → Monique Corzilius	▶	conform with wp:mpnoredirect
voice over → voice-over	▶	conform with article lead (generally hyphenated in u.s. english, according to merriam-webster, collins, and oxford)
stating: "we → stating: "We	▶	conform with article lead, as the whole sentence is being quoted (including the '.'), and quotes following colons are often complete sentences

as usual, anyone should feel free to revert any of my changes if they disagree with my reasoning. dying (talk) 23:59, 29 August 2022 (UTC) [copyedited. dying (talk) 00:07, 30 August 2022 (UTC)][reply]

Thanks! I appreciate it a lot! – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 14:09, 31 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]