Wikipedia talk:Today's featured article/September 30, 2024
Appearance
Tweaks maybe
[edit]Hi Wehwalt and Gog, a few queries...
- Blurb has "Barnett. Barnett" in:
- "His admission was delayed and obstructed, including by Mississippi governor Ross Barnett. Barnett even had him temporarily jailed."
- Would that be better as (something like):
- 'His admission was delayed and obstructed, including by Ross Barnett, the Mississippi governor. Barnett even had him temporarily jailed.' or
- 'His admission was delayed and obstructed, including by Mississippi governor Ross Barnett who even had him temporarily jailed.'
- "Kennedy invoked the Insurrection Act of 1807"
- Can we just say "Kennedy" out of the blue like that? Should we change to U.S. President John F. Kennedy? (We'd have to include "U.S." because unis have a president.)
- "Kennedy invoked the Insurrection Act of 1807, mobilized more than 30,000 troops, and quelled the riot."
- That reads as if Kennedy quelled the riot? Suggest:
- 'Kennedy invoked the Insurrection Act of 1807, mobiliz
eding more than 30,000 troops, andwho quelled the riot.'
- "as segregationist rioters" Link is a bit broad?
- Change pipe to Racial segregation in the United States or School integration in the United States?
- Some possible minor removals/tweaks for character count to enable U.S. President John F. (if agreed) to be inserted:
- prevent the enrollment of James Meredith, an African-American applicant. ---> prevent the enrollment of African-American, James Meredith.
- In the wake of ---> After
- Mississippi governor ---> state governor
- accompanied by ---> flanked by
- A riot erupted
on campuswhen a mob - A statue of James Meredith on campus - pipe to remove James
JennyOz (talk) 23:53, 27 September 2024 (UTC)
- Noted, I'll look at it if nothing happens overnight. Wehwalt (talk) 00:44, 28 September 2024 (UTC)