Wikipedia talk:Today's featured article/July 2, 2016

"The barn owl relies on acute hearing to hunt mostly small mammals at night, but also by day in Britain and some Pacific islands." Think there's too much packed into that. How about: Most barn owls hunt at night, relying on acute hearing to hunt for its prey, which is typically small mammals --Dweller (talk) Become old fashioned! 11:35, 1 July 2016 (UTC) Pinging: Dank Cwmhiraeth Brianboulton as this page would be easy to miss in a Watchlist. --Dweller (talk) Become old fashioned! 11:37, 1 July 2016 (UTC)[reply]

I did have some regret about how packed this sentence was (I wrote it btw), but not enough to change it. Your alternative isn't tight enough for TFA style, I think, but I'm open to discussion. - Dank (push to talk) 11:52, 1 July 2016 (UTC)[reply]

I added a semicolon; thoughts? - Dank (push to talk) 11:54, 1 July 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for bringing this up, it did need help, and I've unpacked it a little more: "The barn owl relies on acute hearing to hunt small mammals and other prey at night; it also hunts by day in Britain and some Pacific islands." Thoughts? - Dank (push to talk) 12:03, 1 July 2016 (UTC)[reply]

I think the hunting by day in Britain is very peripheral. How about "The barn owl relies on acute hearing to detect small mammals and other prey, hunting almost exclusively at night." Cwmhiraeth (talk) 12:36, 1 July 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Works for me. Dweller? - Dank (push to talk) 12:38, 1 July 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Almost TFA day for this one. Done. - Dank (push to talk) 22:40, 1 July 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Good work, folks --Dweller (talk) Become old fashioned! 22:41, 2 July 2016 (UTC)[reply]