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Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates/Newberry Volcano/archive1

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TFA blurb review

[edit]

Newberry Volcano is a large shield-shaped stratovolcano located 35 miles (56 km) east of the major crest of the Cascade Range and about 20 miles (32 km) south of Bend, Oregon, within the Newberry National Volcanic Monument. Considered an active volcano, it is closely monitored with sensors by the United States Geological Survey. Newberry is the largest volcano in the Cascade Volcanic Arc, with a total volume of approximately 120 cubic miles (500 km3) and a caldera 4 by 5 miles (6.4 km × 8.0 km) in diameter. It was named for the geologist and surgeon John Strong Newberry, who explored central Oregon for the Pacific Railroad Surveys in 1855. The surrounding area has been inhabited by Native American populations for more than 10,000 years. The volcano and its vicinity include many pyroclastic cones, lava flows, and lava domes, with more than 400 vents, the most of any volcano in the contiguous United States. Newberry Volcano is a popular destination for recreational activities. (Full article...)

Any thoughts or edits? - Dank (push to talk) 02:59, 13 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]

@Dank: Seems like a lot of sentences with "It x..." ceranthor 16:12, 13 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]
No opinion. Would you prefer "The largest volcano in the Cascade Volcanic Arc, it has a total volume ..."? I don't want to substitute "volcano" for "it"; we already say "volcano" a lot. - Dank (push to talk) 16:19, 13 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]
I would prefer to 1. remove the Paulina Peak sentence; it disrupts the flow 2. Remove the "It" and change to "Newberry is the largest volcano..." 3. Add some mention of the historic Native American population in the volcano's surroundings 4. If we can, add some mention of Paulina Lake and East Lake. ceranthor 16:59, 13 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Sure thing ... I've got to get all the May blurbs done right away, I'll be back here soon. - Dank (push to talk) 17:27, 13 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Did the first 3 ... can't do #4 without deleting something else, since we're now at 1007 characters, close to the max. - Dank (push to talk) 01:58, 19 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]