Wikipedia:WikiQuatch
 | This page contains material that is kept because it is considered humorous. Such material is not meant to be taken seriously. |
| WikiQuatch | |
|---|---|
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| WikiQuatch caught in 4K or clever WikiHoax? No-one really knows. | |
| Conservation status | |
| Not evaluated (IUCN 3.1) | |
| Scientific classification | |
| Domain: | Eukaryota |
| Kingdom: | Animalia |
| Phylum: | Chordata |
| Class: | Mammalia |
| Order: | Primates |
| Suborder: | Haplorhini |
| Infraorder: | Simiiformes |
| Family: | Hominidae |
| Tribe¹ | */Sivapithecini/ |
| Genus¹: | */Gigantopithecus/ |
| Species¹: | */G. wiki/ |
| Tribe² | */Hominini/ |
| Genus²: | */Wikipithecus/ |
| Species²: | */W. gigantus/ |
| Tribe³ | */Hominini/ |
| Genus³: | Anthropoidipes |
| Species³: | */A. wikiborealis/ |
| Binomial name | |
| */Gigantopithecus wiki/ */Wikipithecus gigantus/ */Anthropoidipes wikiborealis/ | |
| Alternative names | |
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| Range shown in white | |
WikiQuatch are Wikipedia editors of whom little to nothing is known. The most notable aspect that defines WikiQuatches, is that they never engage with other WikiFauna; exceptions being other WikiCryptids, like WikiUnicorns.
Introduction + Powers and Abilities
[edit]The WikiQuatch is a mythical and enigmatic figure within the Wikipedia community. Most WikiFauna don't even believe WikiQuatches are real. There are Wikidenizens that claim to have made contact with them, but no-one really believes them because those "Wikilievers" are often a bit kooky. Another reason is because the "experiencers" often present conflicting information about their supposed nature and behaviours. The overlapping characteristics that seem to be universally reported are quite peculiar indeed. They are:
- Elusiveness + Cloaking abilities
- The WikiQuatch is renowned for its extreme elusiveness. Despite its significant contributions to the platform, the WikiQuatch is rarely seen or directly interacted with by other users. It operates primarily in the shadows, making edits under a variety of pseudonyms or leaving no traceable footprints at all. This has led to numerous sightings and rumors within the community, but few have ever managed to confirm its existence directly.
- Wikispiracists have theorized that WikiQuatches are able to hide in plain sight by primarily making edits to obscure pages that no-one pays attention to, or by making edits to less obscure pages by editing during off-peak hours, in the dead of night, when the platform is less active. This habit allows it to avoid detection and maintain its legendary status as a mysterious and almost mythical figure. Some users claim to have witnessed its work in progress, only to find the changes completed and the WikiQuatch vanished without a trace when they return.
- Knowledge of ancient editing techniques
- One of its most notable abilities is its impeccable command of obscure and forgotten knowledge, allowing it to contribute to articles with rare facts and details that others often overlook. This ability makes the WikiQuatch a revered and mysterious figure, often credited with reviving content that would otherwise fade into obscurity.
- Speed
- Another remarkable power of the WikiQuatch is its capacity for lightning-fast editing, rivaling even the most seasoned editors. The WikiQuatch can make comprehensive edits across multiple pages within minutes, fixing errors, adding citations, and improving overall content quality with an almost supernatural efficiency. Despite this speed, the quality of its edits remains exceptionally high, leading to speculation that the WikiQuatch possesses a deep and innate understanding of wiki guidelines and content curation.
Allegations of a WikiCoverup
[edit]Some Wikispiracists believe that the WikiGovernment is hiding the existence of these creatures and is secretly engaged in contact with them through remoteSigma-bot™-controlled WikiBirds. However the Supreme Cabal Regime of the English Wikipedia (aka S.C.R.E.W.) categorically denies these claims.
