Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Peer review/USS Siboney (ID-2999)

USS Siboney (ID-2999)

I've been working on this a while and would like to get some feedback on what improvements could be made. — Bellhalla (talk) 14:14, 20 February 2008 (UTC)

Carom

A few thoughts:

• The "World War I navy service" section needs more rigorous citation.
  • The "World War I" section is mostly public domain text from the Dictionary of American Naval Fighting Ships, but I will include citations to better convey that.
• Some copyediting is needed, mainly to check for typos.
  • I corrected misspellings of "camouflage" (in an image tag) and of "Gibraltar" in the main article. I'll see if I can get some outside eyes to take a look for others.
• It may or may not be useful to recombine some of the paragraphs so that there are not so many single-sentence, one-line paragraphs. In some places, this detracts from the visual appeal of the article.
  • Sentence length comment noted. Perhaps a copy-editor could make some suggestions for changes.

Hopefully these comments are helpful. Carom (talk) 17:05, 20 February 2008 (UTC)

Thank you for your comments, and, yes, they are indeed helpful. — Bellhalla (talk) 17:51, 20 February 2008 (UTC)

TomStar81

• Comments
  • I think the fate tab should say "Scrapped in 1957" since that was the ship's ultimate fate.
    •  Done
  • Make absolutely sure that the article adheres to an all "she/her" format or an all "it" format.
    • Will do.  Done
  • Lose the "History" header, since the whole article is history it would be best to make your sub headers the primary headers.
    • Good point.  Done
  • Just curious, but would you happen to know if the ship was unique or part of a class? I won;t hold this question against you, I just want to know if you know. TomStar81 (Talk) 18:05, 20 February 2008 (UTC)
    • DANFS entries don't show a class for either, but Siboney and USS Orizaba (ID-1536) were both built by Wm. Cramp, both have basically the same dimensions and displacement, both were originally laid down for the Ward Line at essentially the same time, and both taken over by the Navy in WW I. Where in the article would be an appropriate place to say that they were, if not a class, sister ships (in a non-OR-ish way, of course)?

Thanks Bellhalla (talk) 18:58, 20 February 2008 (UTC)

If it were me I put it in the intro, something like "USS Siboney (ID-2999) was a transport ship for the United States Navy during World War I. She was the sister ship of USS Orizaba (ID-1536), although the two were not part of a ship class." Otherwise, it looks good. Well Done. TomStar81 (Talk) 22:09, 20 February 2008 (UTC)

 Done Bellhalla (talk) 22:21, 21 February 2008 (UTC)