Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Peer review/Combat Vehicle Reconnaissance (Tracked)

Combat Vehicle Reconnaissance (Tracked)

A new direction for myself the first tank/afv article I have really worked on. Its been expanded x5 and I am looking for suggestions to improve it up the assessment scale. --Jim Sweeney (talk) 17:18, 17 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]

GraemeLeggett

My thoughts on areas to address.
- The lead is too short as yet
- Development history is incomplete - why did the British Army want this vehicle, it replaced the Saladin but what about the other variants - new capability or replacing other vehicles. more on the requirements it had to meet and how those affected the final design.

Expanded

- Initial statements on design and history very short and jerky.

As above

- Consider renaming history as "design and development" (similar to aircraft articles) then it can cover the project as well as a general description of the CVR(T) hull/suspension

Renamed as suggested

- "Service history" as a separate level 2 entry

Done

- How does stormer relate to CVR(T) - its not CVR(T) because its bigger, was it MoD driven or private venture?

Private changed text

- Check all links: eg Alvis cars is redir to Alvis Cars.

Caught out by this one but changed

GraemeLeggett (talk) 12:50, 18 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Nick-D

This article is off to a good start - you've made great use of the available free images and references and the structure seems sensible. My suggestions for further improvements are:

The 'Service history' section should cover the AFV's service in all countries, not just the UK, and shouldn't be limited to operational deployments (especially as this excludes the vehicle's use in the British Army of the Rhine during the Cold War)
The coverage of the Falklands War could probably be expanded; there's a lot of material on the performance of the AFVs sent there (some sources say they were fantastic and the British military made a serious mistake in not sending more, while others are more critical of their performance)
A table summarising the characteristics of the variants would be interesting Nick-D (talk) 07:25, 19 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the review I am expanding the service history section. Trying to add a section for each country. Hard going at the moment as most are not the most forth coming with what the have or do.

Expanded a bit on the Falklands.

Will consider a table. --Jim Sweeney (talk) 15:16, 19 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Raoulduke47

In general, a good article. A few remarks, though:

The picture of the Fox at the bottom of the variants section creates an ugly gap, and is not really necessary. It should be removed, IMO.

There is no gap in my view ?

In "Service history", having a separate but equal subsection for the UK and Europe implies that the UK is not part of Europe. Geographical logic would have it that "United kingdom" would be a subsection of "Europe".

Joined sections

Concerning the service history in Afghanistan, it is incorrect to state that CVR(T)s were deployed only after the withdrawal from Iraq. The first vehicles were deployed in early 2006, ie before the withdrawal. In addition, the coverage of the Afghanistan war really is a bit short. The usage of CVR(T)s has been more intensive than in the Falklands, though not without problems, as the fleet is beginning to show its age. The lack of air conditionning has proved particularly problematic, leading to some strang solutions[1]. I'm sure more material could be found quite easily on the internet, if nowhere else on the MoD website[2]. Or you can try A Million Bullets: The Real Story of the British Army in Afghanistan by James Fergusson.

Changed wording

Thanks for the review --Raoulduke47 (talk) 13:02, 13 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]