Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Peer review/Bruce Kingsbury
The article was recently rated as B-Class, which was an improvement. I have had some help in improvement since, yet I'd like more specific suggestions to get this close to GA status. \ / (⁂) 09:51, 25 October 2008 (UTC)
Nick Dowling
[edit]The article is off to a reasonable start, but needs a lot more work. Here are my comments.
- The 'Background' section should be renamed and be split into more than one over-long paragraph. I presume that 'Leila' had a surname - who was she?
- The 'Syria-Lebanon' section is too short. It might make sense to combine the material on Kingsbury's training in Australia with this section.
- "There, he was stationed at Mersa Mutrah, 300km from Tobruk.[1] There, the 2/14th fought alongside British troops, fighting the Vichy French on the rugged Lebanese mountain ranges" - please consult an atlas - the desert of Egypt is a long way from Lebanon.
- The dates in the 'Syria-Lebanon' section don't make much sense - as written, it seems that the Division was given a months leave in July which lasted until January the next year! - this obviously wasn't the case, with the division being used for garrison duties and preparing for a feared German offensive through Turkey and/or the Caucasus into the Middle East.
- There seems to be some confusion between 'divisions' and 'battalions'. A division has over 12,000 men while a battalion has about 1,000, so they're very different things (Kingsbury's battalion was in the 7th Division (Australia)).
- Did Kingsbury get married during his leave in Melbourne? If not, why not?
- Tomitarō Horii was a major general, not a 'commander'
- The description of the action which led to Kingsbury winning the VC is highly unsatisfactory as it doesn't explain the events leading up to the action
- "It is often speculated that had Kingsbury not attacked, the Japanese would have isolated the Battalion Headquarters, eventually destroying the battalion. As there were no other battalions on the Track, the Japanese would have presumably continued on to capture Port Moresby" - this is totally wrong. There were other battalions on the track, as well as a powerful garrison at Port Moresby and the Japanese were suffering from the severe supply difficulties which eventually forced them to abandon the offensive and withdraw. Kingsbury was a hero, but he didn't single-handedly save Port Moresby. Nick Dowling (talk) 00:53, 27 October 2008 (UTC)
- I do have a source which credits him with singledhandedly saving the battalion, even if as you say we can't stretch that to say he saved Port Moresby. David Underdown (talk) 11:12, 27 October 2008 (UTC)
- I have edited the section nonetheless to make that adjustment (including more). Thanks for the help. \ / (⁂) 12:13, 27 October 2008 (UTC)
- Those are great changes - the article is much improved now, in my view. Nice work! Nick Dowling (talk) 10:26, 30 October 2008 (UTC)
- I have edited the section nonetheless to make that adjustment (including more). Thanks for the help. \ / (⁂) 12:13, 27 October 2008 (UTC)
- I do have a source which credits him with singledhandedly saving the battalion, even if as you say we can't stretch that to say he saved Port Moresby. David Underdown (talk) 11:12, 27 October 2008 (UTC)