Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Peer review/Bell-Boeing V-22 Osprey
I am requesting a peer review of this article. I've been doing improvements for the past few weeks related to a GA review (on hold at the moment) and think this article is getting near A-class level. Thanks. -Fnlayson (talk) 22:16, 15 June 2010 (UTC)
Nick-D
[edit]This article is in very good shape, and I agree that it's close to A class. My suggestions for further improvements are:
- The lead image seems to be a curious choice given that its rare for the V-22 to be used by paratroopers, and its intended for troops to disembark from the aircraft after they land (I rather like this image as an alternate)
- "faced considerable dialogue in the Senate" is rather unclear - how did the project talk to the Senate?
- "At the same time, the Bush administration sought the cancellation of the project" - what year was this? The article also doesn't say how the project survived (did the Clinton Administration decide to save it after the 1992 election?)
- In general 'Controversy' sections should be avoided with their content worked into the article's prose
- Were the allegations against Lt. Colonel Odin Lieberman ever proven?
- It seems a bit of an overstatement to say that it "will not be a problem" if the V-22 loses both engines - this is surely only the case if the V-22 is flying near a suitable landing site Nick-D (talk) 04:50, 17 June 2010 (UTC)
- Thanks, I'm working on it. I've clarified the Senate, cancellation, and 'autorotation/not a problem' parts. I thought the Lt. Colonel was one of three officers later implicated, but not sure. I know about the criticism/controversy section issue and really dislike them. I've wanted to move that text to more fitting places, but could not get agreement on the talk page in late 2008. I'll have to do more reading on the Clinton administration support before adding anything. -Fnlayson (talk) 18:56, 17 June 2010 (UTC)
- The recently published book The Dream Machine: The Untold History of the Notorious V-22 Osprey may be of use (I haven't read it so can't specifically recommend it). Nick-D (talk) 07:39, 18 June 2010 (UTC)
- There's some info in the Norton book I have and 1-2 media sources already used in the page mention Clinton admin supporting it. UPDATE: I added some text of that over the weekend. -Fnlayson (talk) 17:52, 21 June 2010 (UTC)
- The recently published book The Dream Machine: The Untold History of the Notorious V-22 Osprey may be of use (I haven't read it so can't specifically recommend it). Nick-D (talk) 07:39, 18 June 2010 (UTC)
- Thanks, I'm working on it. I've clarified the Senate, cancellation, and 'autorotation/not a problem' parts. I thought the Lt. Colonel was one of three officers later implicated, but not sure. I know about the criticism/controversy section issue and really dislike them. I've wanted to move that text to more fitting places, but could not get agreement on the talk page in late 2008. I'll have to do more reading on the Clinton administration support before adding anything. -Fnlayson (talk) 18:56, 17 June 2010 (UTC)
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AustralianRupert
[edit]It looks quite good to me. I only have a couple of suggestions:
- in the Flight testing and design changes section, "USS Wasp" - the name of the ship should be in italics;
- in the same sentence as USS Wasp the date range "1991-92" should have an endash per WP:DASH;
- some of the citations to web sites don't have accessdates (Retrieved dates). AustralianRupert (talk) 01:25, 23 June 2010 (UTC)
- Fixed most of that. Will work on adding the retrieved dates when making other edits. Thanks. -Fnlayson (talk) 17:16, 29 June 2010 (UTC)