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Battle of Marion

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I've listed this article for peer review because I would like this article to become an A-class article, and I need to see what to work on.


Thanks, Redmarkviolinist Drop me a line 19:55, 17 February 2008 (UTC)[reply]



Carom

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A few comments:

  • You may find it useful to break up the "background" section. At the moment, it is a little difficult to parse, and might benefit from subheadings such as "tactical situation," "political situation," etc.
  • Make sure you follow the citation guidelines throughout. The "first day of battle" section is very sparse.
  • In the "aftermath" section, it may be useful to discuss the larger consequences of the battle, if any.
  • In many places, a slightly more encyclopedic tone is necessary.
  • A copyedit would be useful, as the prose is occasionally choppy and difficult to read.

Hopefully these thoughts are helpful. Carom (talk) 23:09, 17 February 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Oberiko

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  • I'd take the pictures out of the infobox, it's not something I've seen anywhere else.
  • I don't think you need the header on the "Outcome" sub-section
  • The Chronology, having three points, really isn't all the useful and is basically summarized in the introduction
  • There are to many infoboxes on the bottom, most of which are barely related to this event. I'd recommend scrapping them and putting a campaign box under the main info box. Oberiko (talk) 21:21, 20 February 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Automated

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Here's some automated suggestions I got using User:AndyZ's script. The following suggestions were generated by a semi-automatic javascript program, and might not be applicable for the article in question.

You may wish to browse through User:AndyZ/Suggestions for further ideas. Thanks, Nousernamesleftcopper, not wood 02:57, 25 February 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Cam

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  • The "Territorial Changes" part in the infobox needs some fleshing out. "Southwest Virginia" is a fairly general term. Personally, I would simply add more detail to that one element of the infobox, without making it overly long.
  • Considering the size of the article, there are very few citations. When I have more time, I'll add the "Citation Needed" clips to the article. Density of citations is also very low in some of the sections
  • I'm going to have to agree with Carom. the "Aftermath" Section needs a lot of fleshing out.
  • In the infobox, you need to find a statistic for "strength". The casualty figures tell me that this was a relatively small battle. however, I would prefer to have an actual figure for the strength of the opposing armies.
  • There are places, especially in the "first day of the battle section", that are very difficult to fluently read.
  • There are other places, mainly the opening of the "Second day of the battle" that read too much like a historical novel. I would suggest reformatting this to fit the prose of an encyclopedia, rather than a historical novel.
  • I checked the history of the page, and it was once 20,000 bytes in size. Now, it's only 16,000. I would investigate why this is, and consider adding back in some of the stuff which was cut from earlier versions, so as to flesh out many aspects of the article.
  • Lastly, the "outcome" section is almost contradictory at times. The Union forces achieved a tactical victory, and yet the rebels had inflicted heavy casualties against the Union Army. This is further contradicted by the casualty figure in the infobox. A tactical victory usually means that one side inflicted more casualties on the other. I, personally, would qualify this as a Tactical Confederate Victory, Strategic Union Victory.

Good luck carrying the article forward. All the best

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