Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Assessment/Sidney Edgerton
- The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
- Not promoted -MBK004 23:48, 19 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
- Nominator(s): Lord Oliver The Olive Branch
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I am nominating this article for A-Class review because I have put quite a lot of work into this article, and I am prepared to extend or do whatever to get this article to A-Class. I also believe that this process is more efficiently run than if I nominated this article for Good-Class. Thanks and Have A Great Day! Lord Oliver The Olive Branch 02:23, 23 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]
- Lead needs to be expanded and dashes done for the page ranges YellowMonkey (vote in the Southern Stars and White Ferns supermodel photo poll) 02:39, 23 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]
- Added to lead, and I was wondering where you wanted me to add dashes. Thanks and Have A Great Day! Lord Oliver The Olive Branch 02:49, 23 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]
- I did an example. it was showing up as a hyphen and not a full dash YellowMonkey (vote in the Southern Stars and White Ferns supermodel photo poll) 02:51, 23 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]
- Expanded Introduction and fixed dashes. Have A Great Day! Lord Oliver The Olive Branch 18:40, 23 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]
- Comments
- No problems reported with dab links or external links. Almost all of your images are in need of alt text though.
- More to follow... TomStar81 (Talk) 06:21, 24 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]
- Added Alt Text to all images. Have A Great Day! Lord Oliver The Olive Branch 21:02, 24 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]
- Object Lead is still too short and hyphens are still in the page ranges YellowMonkey (vote in the Southern Stars and White Ferns supermodel photo poll) 02:41, 25 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]
- Expanded Lead, and fixed the rest of the dashes. Thanks and Have A Great Day! Lord Oliver The Olive Branch 20:48, 25 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Oppose. Oliver, I can see that you've worked very hard on this and appreciate that you'd like some quicker feedback than you'd get a GA review. May I suggest you withdraw from the A class review and try peer review first? I'm going to leave some suggestions on the talk page. While you've moved considerably further than a stub, this article needs a lot of help. As I understand ACR, it's for articles that are considerably further along than this. Auntieruth55 (talk) 22:10, 25 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]
- I appreciate the advice, but I would like to see the opinion of others before I remove the nomination. I have already corrected the problems that were brought up by others, and I will continue correcting any other problems. If the opinion of others shows a consistency with the fact that I need to remove my nomination, of course I will remove it. Thanks and Have A Great Day! Lord Oliver The Olive Branch 22:35, 25 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]
- I would also like to show, as an example of an A-Class, Egmont Prinz zur Lippe-Weißenfeld. I believe that the article, Sidney Edgerton, is much more extensive than the example article, and Sidney Edgerton should be an A-Class article. Thanks and Have A Great Day! Lord Oliver The Olive Branch 22:40, 25 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]
- This article, as of now, is no where near the quality of the article you've cited as an example. This is not to say that it won't be, however. It needs a great deal more work. I can see that you've expanded the lead in quality, however, so that is a very good first step. Auntieruth55 (talk) 23:13, 25 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]
- I've looked at your sources, and you have some great information to work with. The section on his term as territorial governor should be expanded. What did he do as territorial governor? What were his policies (such as those he set forth in his first speech to the legislature)? What kinds of appointments did he make? How did he deal with the anti-unionist forces? ... How did he get to Montana? What kind of trip was it? Who came with him? Did they go by land or water? .... That whole story about being in Virginia could be told better, and contextualized so that it is understandable. As it reads now, it sounds like he went to settle the affairs of John Brown, but actually, he went to examine the development of the siegeworks. What was the significance of that? The driver didn't jump off the cart, did he? It was another soldier? Who escorted him out of Virginia? Just a few comments. Auntieruth55 (talk) 23:34, 25 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]
- This article, as of now, is no where near the quality of the article you've cited as an example. This is not to say that it won't be, however. It needs a great deal more work. I can see that you've expanded the lead in quality, however, so that is a very good first step. Auntieruth55 (talk) 23:13, 25 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]
- I would also like to show, as an example of an A-Class, Egmont Prinz zur Lippe-Weißenfeld. I believe that the article, Sidney Edgerton, is much more extensive than the example article, and Sidney Edgerton should be an A-Class article. Thanks and Have A Great Day! Lord Oliver The Olive Branch 22:40, 25 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]
- Thanks, I will get to work.
- P.S. Thanks for the tweaks on the Intro! Have A Great Day! Lord Oliver The Olive Branch 23:43, 25 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]
- Also I wanted to mention that Edgerton did go to Virginia to settle Brown's affairs. Have A Great Day! Lord Oliver The Olive Branch 23:46, 25 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]
- Expanded sections on his term as territorial governor and his term as chief justice in Idaho Territory, including his experiences with Native Americans, his policies with a Democratic Party majority in the House, his trip to Montana, his trip with his family to Idaho, and I am about to tweak the section on John Brown. Thanks and Have A Great Day! Lord Oliver The Olive Branch 01:26, 26 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Oppose I'll second Auntieruth55's comments. There's a lot information here, but the prose quality needs to be improved considerably to satisfy A-class standards. I'd recommend a peer review/GAR before bringing it to ACR. Furthermore there are a lot of MOS problems. Notably lack of place of publication for the references and capitalization problems. All of this stuff can be worked through, but this is not the place, IMO.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 15:11, 28 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]
- Weak Oppose The criteria is there for a B-class article, but I feel that the material in the article could be expanded and that more could be said about Sidney Edgerton. I would concur with the move to look into a PR/GAR route, but I also suggest looking for additional information on the man; the article as it is is kind of thin. TomStar81 (Talk) 15:28, 6 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
- Comments: Just a few comments from me.
- The Early life section should probably mention the specific date of birth even though it is already mentioned in the lead;
- Is there a need for a picture of John Brown in this article?
- Same as above for the image of Plummer;
- The Inflation calculator link should be removed from References and cited in Notes (# 14) using {{cite web}};
- The References section is very large, are all of the works specifically cited in the Notes? If not they should be moved to a Further reading section;
- I think that the Governors ribbon template at the bottom of the article would look better if it were collapsed;
- I think that the References section would look better if it were formatted with {{cite book}};
- The titles in the References section need to be capitalised per Wikipedia:MOSCAPS#Composition titles.
Anyway, that is it from me. Regarding the "opposes", have these been addressed, or do they remain? Cheers. — AustralianRupert (talk) 14:44, 17 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
- they remain. Certainly the content has expanded, but the prose is still weak, and the article seems repetitive to me. The end of his life is completely glossed over. I would still oppose, based on these deficiencies. I'd question whether the prose would pass a GA nom. Auntieruth55 (talk) 23:08, 19 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
- The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page, such as the current discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.