Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Assessment/Kenneth Nichols
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- The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
Closed/promoted -- Ian Rose (talk) 11:51, 29 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Wartime commander of the Manhattan District. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:36, 24 February 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Support with minor comments:
- "He was military liaison officer" - "a military liaison officer"?
- Changed to the military liaison officer Hawkeye7 (talk) 12:08, 1 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- "West Point" - could be wiki-linked
- Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 12:08, 1 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- " deputy director" - worth checking the capitalisations for these - I think their modern counterparts would be in capitals (as in "Deputy District Engineer" previously in the lead - the capitalisation of all of these varies as you go through the article)
- Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 12:08, 1 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- "For exceptional service rendered the Republic of Nicaragua" - the MOS would allow you to drop the capital "F" if you wanted to allow an easier flow.
- Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 12:08, 1 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- "the problems of crowding there" - "over crowding"? Hchc2009 (talk) 20:42, 29 February 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 12:08, 1 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Support Comments: good to see another biography on an engineer. I made a couple of tweaks; please check that you are happy with those. As always for you, Hawkeye, this is of an excellent standard. I have only a few nitpicks:
- This is my fifth engineer, after Somervell, Casey, Sverdrup, and Groves. More to come. Hawkeye7 (talk) 11:02, 10 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- in the Early life section, "Here he first met First Lieutenant Leslie Groves, a fellow officer in the expedition". This might perhaps sound smoother as: "One of Nichols' fellow officers on the expedition was First Lieutenant Leslie Groves, who would figure prominently later in Nichols' career";
- Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 10:59, 10 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- is this missing something: "for exceptional service rendered the Republic of Nicaragua" (perhaps "rendered to the Republic of Nicaragua"). As it is in quotes, I didn't want to tinker;
- Yes, that's what it says. Added "[to]". Hawkeye7 (talk) 10:59, 10 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- "where he received a bachelor's degree in civil engineering". I wonder if the date of conferral is available and if it should be mentioned. Not a warstoper, and just a suggestion;
- Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 10:59, 10 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- order: "...year at the Technische Hochschule in Berlin. The thesis he wrote won an American Society of Civil Engineers award.[3] While there he was promoted to first lieutenant on 1 October 1934". I wonder if this might flow better as: "...year at the Technische Hochschule in Berlin. While there he was promoted to first lieutenant on 1 October 1934 and the thesis that he wrote later won an American Society of Civil Engineers award.[3]"
- Re-worded. Hawkeye7 (talk) 10:59, 10 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- "From September 1936 to June 1937 he was a student officer at Fort Belvoir, Virginia". Do we know what being a "student officer" entailed? It might not be important, but I wasn't really sure;
- It just means that he was attending a training course. Hawkeye7 (talk) 10:59, 10 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- in the World War II section, "lieutenant colonel", "colonel" and "Oak Ridge, Tennessee" are possibly overlinked;
- Unlinkled. Hawkeye7 (talk) 10:59, 10 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- in the World War II section, the presentation of this is a little confusing: "the Rome, New York Air Depot" - it currently looks like its proper name was "Rome, New York Air Depot", but I get the impression that it was actually called the "Rome Air Depot";
- Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 10:59, 10 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- this seems a little awkward: "...and looked over prospective sites in the foothills of the Cumberland Mountains that had been identified by scouts from the Office of Scientific Research and Development that combined the desirable attributes of power, water and transportation with sparse population". Perhaps it should be tweaked slightly: "...and looked over prospective sites in the foothills of the Cumberland Mountains, which had been identified by scouts from the Office of Scientific Research and Development as combining the desirable attributes of power, water and transportation with sparse population";
- Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 10:59, 10 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- "In September 1942, Brigadier General Leslie R. Groves, Jr assumed command..." the link here is probably unnecessary as Groves is alreadly linked earlier, additionally the name is presented differently to earlier where it is just "Leslie Groves". It could probably just be "In September 1942, Groves assumed command...";
- Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 10:59, 10 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- inconsistent capitalisation: "district engineer of the Manhattan Engineer District.[15] As District Engineer..." (district engineer v. District Engineer);
- Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 10:59, 10 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- in the Post war section, "Like many of his contemporaries, Nichols was reduced in rank on 30 June 1946, reverting to his substantive rank of lieutenant colonel". I wonder if it should be clarified why this was the case, i.e. due to the post war reduction in the armed forces or something similar;
- Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 10:59, 10 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- in the Post war section, "Armed Forces Special Weapons Project" is overlinked;
- Reduced links.n Hawkeye7 (talk) 10:59, 10 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- in the Post war section, "assets and responsibilities from the MED to the AEC". I don't think you've explained the abbreviation "MED" yet - I think it is the Manhatten Engineer District, but I'm not sure;
- It is. Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 10:59, 10 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- in the Later life section, "Yankee Rowe Nuclear Power Plant" is overlinked;
- Unlinked. Hawkeye7 (talk) 10:59, 10 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- in the Later life section, there is some repetition here: "competitive with coal and oil, but later became competitive with inflation and large increases in coal and oil prices";
- Re-worded. Hawkeye7 (talk) 10:59, 10 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- in the Bibliography, for the Fire & Remington and the Jones sources, are there ISBNs or OCLC numbers that could be added?
- For some reason, US government publications do not have ISBNs. Added OCLCs. Hawkeye7 (talk) 11:03, 10 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- in the Bibliography, there are few terms that might be considered to be overlinked, e.g. George Cullum; Richard Hewlett; Washington, D.C.; United States Army Center of Military History; New York, New York; University Park, Pennsylvania; Pennsylvania State University Press; Chicago, Illinois, etc.
- Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 10:59, 10 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- in the Bibliography, the ISBN for the Stern work appears to be presented differently to the others. AustralianRupert (talk) 23:36, 9 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- Ran the bot over them. Hawkeye7 (talk) 10:59, 10 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- Looks good, happy to support. Regards, AustralianRupert (talk) 21:38, 10 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- Ran the bot over them. Hawkeye7 (talk) 10:59, 10 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- Support
- No dab links [1] (no action required).
- One external link reports as dead [2] (action required).
- "Finding aid for Kenneth D. Nichols Oral History" (info) [archives.gov]
- Some of the images lack Alt Text so you might consider adding it [3] (suggestion only).
- The Citation Check Tool reveals no errors with reference consolidation (no action required).
- The images used are all PD or licenced and are appropriate to the article (no action required).
- I've read through it and couldn't spot any issues so it looks good to me. Well done. Anotherclown (talk) 22:31, 24 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- ALT text added. Hawkeye7 (talk) 20:30, 28 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page, such as the current discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.