Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Assessment/HMS Iron Duke (1912)
- The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
Article promoted Hawkeye7 (talk) 19:54, 17 December 2013 (UTC)
Now that the German BBs are all but done (at least as far as ACR is concerned), it's time to bring something new wait, this isn't a ship from perfidious Albion, is it? I figured Jellicoe's flagship was as good a place to start as any, so here we are. This article will go on to FAC at some point in the future, so pull no reviewing punches, please. Thanks in advance to all who take the time to review the article. Parsecboy (talk) 12:16, 11 November 2013 (UTC)
Images - source link for File:The_Burning_of_Smyrna_as_seen_from_HMS_King_George_V.jpg is dead; images are otherwise fine. But do check the alphabetization of References. Nikkimaria (talk) 20:07, 11 November 2013 (UTC)
- Thanks for the image check, Nikki - I've replaced the original link (since I couldn't track it down on the website) with one from Flikr. And the references are in the proper order now. Parsecboy (talk) 18:08, 12 November 2013 (UTC)
Support on prose per standard disclaimer. These are my edits. Does "After the end of the war" mean something different from "After the war"? - Dank (push to talk) 21:00, 12 November 2013 (UTC)
- Not particularly, no. Would it be better to shorten it? Parsecboy (talk) 11:37, 16 November 2013 (UTC)
- In that case, yes, I'd recommend shortening it. To distil advice from various places: obvious redundancy grates on some readers. I do sometimes see "after the end ..." in print, and it's fine in spoken English. (The spoken language often has more redundancy, because once you've said something, it's gone, and the listener may be lost if they didn't get it.) - Dank (push to talk) 13:46, 16 November 2013 (UTC)
- Sounds good to me then - I've trimmed it. Parsecboy (talk) 14:13, 16 November 2013 (UTC)
- In that case, yes, I'd recommend shortening it. To distil advice from various places: obvious redundancy grates on some readers. I do sometimes see "after the end ..." in print, and it's fine in spoken English. (The spoken language often has more redundancy, because once you've said something, it's gone, and the listener may be lost if they didn't get it.) - Dank (push to talk) 13:46, 16 November 2013 (UTC)
Comment Support
- Should the info box not include Decommissioned, Struck, and Identification: Pennant number ? Just going off another set of articles.
- I don't have any of those dates, unfortunately. And I don't think there are infobox fields for the dates I do have.
- In the Kitchener image it should be Field Marshal Kitchener military rank proceeds civil when in uniform.
Jim Sweeney (talk) 19:21, 10 December 2013 (UTC)
- Ah, I was unaware - I assumed most people would know him as "Lord Kitchener". Thanks Jim. Parsecboy (talk) 01:13, 11 December 2013 (UTC)
CommentsSupport- No dab links [1] (no action req'd).
- External links check out [2] (no action req'd).
- Some of the images lack Alt Text so you might consider adding it for consistency [3] (suggestion only - not an ACR req).
- The Citation Check Tool reveals no issues with reference consolidation (no action req'd).
- Images review completed above by another reviewer.
- The Earwig Tool reveal no issues with copyright violation or close paraphrasing [4] (no action req'd).
- One duplicate link per WP:REPEATLINK:
- turrets
- Typo here: "On 28 November 1916, while she still in dry dock..." should be "On 28 November 1916, while she was still in dry dock..."
- "In November 1931, under the terms of the London Naval Treaty, Iron Duke was disarmed and she converted into a gunnery training vessel...." Consider more simply: "In November 1931, under the terms of the London Naval Treaty, Iron Duke was disarmed and converted into a gunnery training vessel." (suggestion only)
- Inconsistency in terms: Second World War and World War II.
- Otherwise fine. Anotherclown (talk) 02:55, 14 December 2013 (UTC)
- All good suggestions, Anotherclown. Thanks for reviewing the article. Parsecboy (talk) 11:37, 14 December 2013 (UTC)
- Added my spt now. Anotherclown (talk) 12:24, 14 December 2013 (UTC)
- All good suggestions, Anotherclown. Thanks for reviewing the article. Parsecboy (talk) 11:37, 14 December 2013 (UTC)
- The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.