Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Assessment/Elmer Gedeon

The following discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Closed as Promoted. Cam ^(Chat) 20:31, 11 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Elmer Gedeon

This guy is an interesting part of Military history.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTM) 23:33, 9 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

Ndashes (–) are required between the date ranges in the article (eg. birth and death dates in lead + service years in infobox, etc).
- I guess I missed those two ndashes. Hmm. Thanks.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTM) 07:32, 10 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
In regards to the infobox, shouldn't United States Army Air Force be listed in the Service/Branch section instead of United States Army? Also, add the Purple Heart to the Awards section.
- Thanks.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTM) 07:35, 10 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
The following requires a citation/reference: "Gedeon was quoted in the article as saying “he hopes to pick up after the war where he left off.” He added that “it’s a matter of time.” “If the war ends before I’m past the playing age I’ll return to the game. If I’m too old, I’ll do something else.”"
- I copied the citation to the end as well.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTM) 07:49, 10 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
In the aim of consistancy, please have the access dates listed in the citations in the same format.
- {{cite news}} is doing some autoformatting while {{cite web}} does not. I am not sure how to make these consistent, but will ask at help desk.
  - I have posted two unsuccessful queries at the help desk. Right now I am waiting on a response at Template_talk:Cite_news#Date_formatting.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTM) 21:45, 25 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
References 5, 9 and 10 appear to be the same source; please combine these.
- Thanks.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTM) 07:39, 10 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Cheers, Abraham, B.S. (talk) 05:21, 10 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Support
- " At Michigan, Gedeon became an All-American in track and field, earned varsity letters in American football and baseball." Awkward. The sentence seems to imply that there'll be another part, but there isn't.
  - O.K.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTM) 05:04, 18 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
- " “by way of warming up.”." Too many periods that the end of that sentence.
  - O.K.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTM) 04:53, 18 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
- "Two crew member died in the crash," Missing an s, I believe?
  - O.K.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTM) 04:54, 18 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
- The See Also section can be merged: You mention the Hall of Fame directly above where you say when he was inducted into it, you can link to it there.
  - O.K.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTM) 04:57, 18 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

However, besides these it looks good, please fix these and good luck with FA! – Joe Nu tter 22:43, 17 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments I passed this article for GA some time ago and I'm glad to see that it has improved further since then. I have comments below before I can support, but this is a very nice article.--Jackyd101 (talk) 23:15, 18 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

"In baseball, Gedeon played both first base and the outfield" - I assume he played for Michigan Wolverines baseball? If so, then say so. This tiny, tiny paragraph has to be expanded and improved: explain who he played for and what, if anything, he achieved. If it is still only a couple of sentences then add it to either the paragraph above or below because it looks totally out of place as it is.
- I have no further info. I put a request in with the creator of Michigan Wolverines baseball.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTM) 02:03, 19 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

OK, well anything you can find should be added. If it cannot, then merge it with either paragraph above or the one below.--Jackyd101 (talk) 09:04, 19 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I found one more sentence of information and added it.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTM) 06:12, 23 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

The last three paragraphs are rather short and outside the main flow of the article. Since they all deal with the memorials and rememberance of his death, it makes sense that they should be merged together to form a single paragraph.
- O.K.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTM) 02:03, 19 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Support Is "program" an American English thing? I would use programme. Other than that, I see no issues against the A-Class criteria. Obviously, any free images would be helpful but not a neccessity for such an individual. I also don't really like the two infobox thing again, but that is a personal preference. You might also have to format the dates in the refs for any FAC. Regards, Woody (talk) 00:43, 7 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Support w/comment: The link to baseballlibrary.com returns a "500 internal server error." Otherwise, it looks good. Well done. TomStar81 (Talk) 22:22, 9 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- Fixed.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTM) 05:54, 10 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Support.. Appears to meet the criteria. A well-written and interesting article. One minor note- you have two fair use images in the article. The FA reviewers may object to having more than one, but it seems fine to me. Cla68 (talk) 09:03, 10 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Question. Could you clarify this paragraph, I don't understand what it's saying:

Gedeon's surname was common in Cleveland, because many people from Sudetenland, where it was common, settled there.[5] Gedeon's widow, Laura, who later moved to Florida.[5] His third cousin Charlotte Gedeon said Elmer carried her grandmother's casket.[5]
Cla68 (talk) 07:08, 10 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]

- How is it now?--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTM) 08:23, 10 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page, such as the current discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.