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The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Dobroslav Jevđević

[edit]
Nominator(s): PRODUCER (talk) and Peacemaker67 (talk)


We are nominating this article for A-Class review because it has passed a GA review and has been further improved upon to meet the necessary ACR standards. ◅ PRODUCER (TALK) 12:36, 5 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Support on prose per standard disclaimer. These are my edits. (Edits may take days to show up on that page.) - Dank (push to talk) 02:52, 2 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

  • Btw, this is in good shape for FAC, but try to vary the prose a bit, for instance in cases where almost every sentence in a paragraph starts with "he", or when the same phrase is used several times in a sentence. - Dank (push to talk) 18:33, 2 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Support Comments
I've had a look over this article, the text reads OK (I made some changes to a few paragraphs) and I see Dank has done a copyedit as well. I just have a few comments/queries: Lead

Early life

  • Do we know anything more about his early life? Education, family? This section seems a bit light.

WWII

  • Trifunović-Birčanin- needs full name and link on first mention in main body of article. Any information on their relationship - were they friends, colleagues? If they knew each other prior to the war, this could be worked into the "Early life" section.
  • "In an internal report of June 1942..." Who was this report for?
  • Radmilo Grdjić and Milan Šantić - I assume that these are other Chetnik leaders but it should be explicitly stated for avoidance of doubt.
  • "legalized 3,000 of his Chetniks..." Is there any material on how he built up "his' force?

Operation Alfa

  • This was a big paragraph so I split it, and reworked some of the wording around the "operation" which was a little repetitive. Please check the changes are OK.

Case White

Death

  • Although he seems more moderate than Đurišić', like Hmains, I'm still surprised that he was able to stay on in Rome and avoid execution. This would be worthwhile expanding.

Hope the feedback helps, good luck with the review. Zawed (talk) 08:43, 2 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

    • It was probably something about anti-communism that protected him after the war, he also had good relations with the Italians which would have helped. But that's OR, we don't have a source for that as far as I am aware. Thanks for the feedback. Peacemaker67 (send... over) 08:26, 4 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • CommentsSupport
    • No dab links [1] (no action required)
    • External links check out [2] (no action required).
    • Images lack Alt Text [3] so you might consider adding it (suggestion only - not an ACR requirement).
    • The Citation Check Tool reveals no errors with reference consolidation (no action required).
    • The image used seems appropriate to the article and has a valid fair use rationale (no action required).
    • The Earwig Tool reveals no issues with copyright violations [4] (only comes up with a wiki mirror) (no action required).
    • This is a bit repetitive: "In the summer of 1941, Jevđević established links with the Italian occupation authorities. In the belief that Italian occupation of both Bosnia and Herzegovina would limit the freedom of action of the NDH to carry out its anti-Serb policies in a significant part of its territory, he and Ilija Trifunović-Birčanin sought to work with the Italian occupation forces." Specifically over use of "Italian occupation". Perhaps considers something like: "In the summer of 1941, Jevđević established links with the Italian authorities. In the belief that Italian occupation of both Bosnia and Herzegovina would limit the freedom of action of the NDH to carry out its anti-Serb policies in a significant part of its territory, he and Ilija Trifunović-Birčanin sought to work with them."
    • Also repetitive here: "Jevđević also hoped that the Italians would allow the formation of a Serbian state of Bosnia and Herzegovina under Italian protection, but the Italians were more interested in obtaining the practical assistance of his Chetniks in fighting the Partisans than helping Jevđević achieve his political aims." Specifically overuse of "Italian". Consider instead: "Jevđević also hoped that the Italians would allow the formation of a Serbian state of Bosnia and Herzegovina under their protection, but they were more interested in obtaining the practical assistance of his Chetniks in fighting the Partisans than helping Jevđević achieve his political aims."
    • Roatta's rank should be included here to formally introduce subject: "In August 1942, Mario Roatta, commander of the Italian 2nd Army." per WP:SURNAME
    • Too many "ands" here: "In August 1942, Mario Roatta, commander of the Italian 2nd Army, contacted Jevđević and "legalised" 3,000 of his Chetniks and gave them authorization to operate in eastern Herzegovina." Consider → "In August 1942, Mario Roatta, commander of the Italian 2nd Army, contacted Jevđević and "legalised" 3,000 of his Chetniks, giving them authorization to operate in eastern Herzegovina." (suggestion only)
    • Rank should be removed at second use here: "Trifunović-Birčanin met with General Roatta on 10 and 21 September " per WP:SURNAME.
    • "Italian-launched Operation Alfa", or Italian-led? (suggestion only). Anotherclown (talk) 23:28, 8 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • Comments Support
    • You might want to give a bit more context on how the NDH (and the general situation in the Balkans) came to be - non-specialists won't know what happened on 6 April (my birthday, coincidentally) and thereafter.
    • The article looks a little drab - are there any other images we could add? Perhaps a map like this one to help orient the reader?
    • You might consider a {{main}} link to Operation Alfa in that section. Same for the Case White section.
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page, such as the current discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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