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The following discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

2008 invasion of Anjouan

[edit]

I thinks it passes all criteria --TheFEARgod (Ч) 13:09, 27 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

  • The intro needs to better summarize the entire article, especially the background and aftermath sections.
 Done --TheFEARgod (Ч) 18:11, 28 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • The quote box in the "Invasion" section needs a box around it or something to offset it better from the text.
don't know how :( --TheFEARgod (Ч) 11:31, 28 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Try not to have any one-sentence paragraphs.
tidied up a bit --TheFEARgod (Ч) 11:31, 28 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Is there a press photo related to the incident that you can upload for use in the article? Usually one fair-use image is allowed per article if it is located at the top of the article, in this case in the infobox. Cla68 (talk) 05:02, 28 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
 Done --TheFEARgod (Ч) 11:31, 28 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Comment Great content and excellent work for such a recent event in an obscure part of the world. I think it needs a little bit more work though, and my suggestions are:
    • Some bits of the article need to be updated now that this operation is complete (for instance, "Sudan and Senegal were expected to provide a total of 750 troops" - did they?)
    • Some of the prose reads like news reportage and should be tweaked so that it's 'drier' (for instance, "The diplomatic source said France remains "favorable" to dialogue but on condition that Bacar accepts the presence of African troops at the port and airport of Anjouan"). I'd suggest that all the references to 'sources' in the article's text be removed (eg, so the above example would read something along the lines of "it was reported that France was "favourable" to dialogue, on the condition that Bacar accepted the pressence of African troops at the port and airport of Anjouan")
    • There are too many short two sentance paragraphs - these should be combined with earlier paras or be expanded/combined
    • "In February 2008, the Comoros rejected the African Union's extended sanctions against Anjouan and instead opted for a military solution." - needs a citation
 Done--TheFEARgod (Ч) 19:32, 29 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
it is, the citation is right after the text talking about that (incl. the quote)--TheFEARgod (Ч) 19:32, 29 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Support It looks good in general, just a few minor issues to fix.
    • In the lead, "On May 15, France rejected Bacar's request for asylum but the French refugee office ruled that the ousted leader could not extradited to Comoros because of the risk of persecution," doesn't make sense. There's a grammatical error there.
    • In the military build-up section, you may wish to use parentheses, instead of brackets. I'm not sure what MOS says about this, but from what I've seen it's more common to use parentheses.
    • His asylum rejection needs a citation.Borg Sphere (talk) 15:13, 29 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Support Meets all criteria. --Eurocopter (talk) 09:57, 31 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page, such as the current discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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