Wikipedia:WikiProject History of Greece/Peer review/Roman-Spartan War
I've spent quite a fair bit of time on this article over the last weekend and I want to know what I can improve in it.Kyriakos 19:56, 19 November 2006 (UTC)
Nicely done. It is A-Class for me, but needs some more work for FA status. These are my remarks:
- 4-5 paragraphs is a bit long lead for me, taking into consideration that this is not a long article. You could make a more concise 3-paragraphs lead.
- Done, merged a few sentences.
- "During the Second Macedonian War, Philip V of Macedon ordered Nabis the city of Argos if he defect from Rome. Nabis accepted the offer and defect from Rome." Don't you think the prose is a bit repetitive here?
- Done
- In the lead again you can have some more wikilinks. You don't linke Flaminius, Sparta, Rhodes, all the other cities etc. Provide these links.
- Done
- "After one skirmish, the allies retreated after being convinced by the commander of the Achean League". Again prose problems. You see the repetition?
- Done
- My opinion is that in the "Prelude" you could add one-two more sentences about who is Nabis (which you don't wikilink!). After all, he plays an important role in the war. Personalities play an important role in a war, and Nabis is a key personality in this particular war. In general, don't focus only on events when describing a war; take into consideration also the human factor!
- Added some information
- "Nabis did not comply and he mustered an army of Romans and his Greek allies and advanced towards the Peloponnese". Who's he? Nabis or Flaminius?
- Clarified
- I liked the narration in "Laconian Campaign"!
- Thanks
- Could you provide one-two more pictures? It is not of course necessary. Add them only if you think that they will be useful in the article. Not photos for the photos!
- You know what else would be nice: a map! A map of the "Laconian Campaign" with the skirmishes and the siege. But again I don't think it is absolutely necessary.
- In the "Aftermath" you give us some further details about what happened later, but what where the broader implications of this war (if they were any)? Did it further reinforce the Roman presence in Greece? Was this war important for the ancient world? If yes, why? Some scholarly assessments could be useful here.
- Clarified
- About the sources. First of all, in references you have 4 secondary sources, but you citate only 2 of them. The other 2? If they are not used, they are further reading not references. The use of more secondary sources would be welcome. Primary sources are fine, but secondary sources offer usually further analysis, assessments and a critical approach.
- Done
Good work. Let's see what will happen with the A-Class nomination in the military project, and then we'll what will happen!--Yannismarou 19:20, 20 November 2006 (UTC)
- Thanks for the review Yanni. How is it looking now? I'll try to find some photos I've taken of the area. Kyriakos 20:45, 20 November 2006 (UTC)