Wikipedia:WikiProject Birds/Peer review/Ornithology
Please add review comments below. Shyamal (talk) 04:46, 30 November 2007 (UTC) Hi Shyamal: Here's my two cents:
- The lead is too short; it should be 2—3 paragraphs, briefly summarizing the major points of the article.
- Try to eliminate as many of those one and two sentence paragraphs as possible. Can any be combined with existing information, or further expanded?
- "...poultry farming and falconry were in practice..." --> "...poultry farming and falconry were practiced..."
- You've used the phrase "very early times" twice within four sentences. Is it really necessary the second time, since you're also giving dates?
- The sentence "Native cultures in all parts of the world included rich vocabularies for the identification uses of birds" is very unclear. What are "identification uses"?
I'll add more bits as I get time! MeegsC | Talk 22:21, 12 December 2007 (UTC)
- Thanks for these. Have tried to make a few amends. Shyamal (talk) 02:40, 13 December 2007 (UTC)