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Wikipedia:WikiProject Biography/Peer review/Thomas Lee (Virginia colonist)

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Thomas Lee (Virginia colonist)

[edit]

I recently created this article and would like to see if anything needs to be improved. There is still more information about him but I would like to fix it as is for right now. Hoping to get it to GA status. T REXspeak 00:12, 19 September 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Electrawn

[edit]
  • Summary:
    • Use of colonist. Try and step outside and see the article from a worldview and ignorance of the subject. I suggest adding "British subject and colonist." Wikify to explain british colonialism.
    • Summary: Why is the Lee family notable?
    • Summary: "The other branch was headed by his brother Henry Lee I, grandfather of "Light Horse" Harry Lee." is probably not needed in the summary.
  • 2nd Summary paragraph:
    • Try and merge elements of this to the first paragraph and into marriage and family. I don't think going into a list of Lee's sons exploits is appropiate and notable in the article summary, save for later.
    • Copyedit needed. Spelling, wording, prose. "called for the recall" :) "Important" and "Excuse" are POV words to avoid.
    • Is the most notable thing he did was procreate?
  • Early Life:
    • Who, What, When, Where, Why, How not fully answered.
    • Expand sentences to paragraphs on how he became powerful.
    • If Thomas Corbin is notable, wikify, else just leave as "uncle".
    • When leasing, you usually lease property from someone...who owned the plantation? British government? Virginia?
    • Copyedit: "his uncle" would be better as "an uncle"; engaged is better and more understood than Betrothed; "had decided" ?; Sentence run together.
    • Use of cquote and quote doesn't seem to move the article forward, hard to understand such poor english.
  • Marriage and Family:
    • Use of Prominent. To who? All of Britainia? Virginia? A region in virginia?
    • Summarize briefly his family role and the eventual roles his sons would become. Move from 2nd Summary paragraph. Expand on his sons and family legacy in "later life" section.
    • Copyedit: Akward sentences and paragraphs are frequent.
  • Potential Missing Section: Political Career
  • Missing Section or subsection: House of Burgesses
    • Notable things Lee did within his role in the House
  • Missing Section: Ohio Company
    • Notable things Lee did to found and start this company are missing.
  • Stratford hall:
    • This section should be a subsection under some sort of political heading.
    • I am not sure if the cquote and quote by Phillip is relevant to the biography.
  • Later Life:
    • Section title should be changed. Later life after what?
  • References/Notes/Overall:
    • Citations looks great. More the better.
    • Infobox is great.
    • Editor enthusiasm is great.
    • Any online sources?
    • Is there an article on Lee in the 1911 or 1922 Encyclopedia Britannica that can be merged in with this article?

Overall, the article sits somewhere between start class and B class, leaning toward start but current B class assessment can stay. I may insert a framework and copyedit to help you along. On the priority scale, this person is low priority. Electrawn 20:59, 20 September 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Yannismarou

[edit]

Nice start, but my first comment is that the article is incomplete. This is my review:

  • The lead constitutes a summary of the whole article. All these things about his family and his children should be placed in section "Marriage and Family". Check WP:LEAD
  • I see two huuuuge sections, "Early life" and "Marriage and Family", and two tiny sections, "Stratford Hall" and "Later Life". Why? And why all this information about his family? Is it so important? His later life is not important? This is an unbalanced article.
  • Are there any comments or criticism or assessments about his career, his political opinions, his decisions? What we can call "legacy".
  • Why only two references? In notes I see more sources. If you chose to keep both sections, then the sources citated (not in detail, but the pages should be definitely mentioned) in "Notes" should be also mentioned (in detail, but without pages) in References.
  • Some sections are under-citated. Try to have at least one inline citation for each paragraph.--Yannismarou 20:07, 21 September 2006 (UTC)[reply]
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