Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2010 June 28

< 2010 June 27

2010 June 28

2010 June 29 >

Back to main feedback page

Index of all pages

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Creativetechnologist/zoggs

Hi,

If someone could check this over as it's my first article that would be great.

Thanks

Richard.

~~Creativetechnologist (talk) 07:24, 28 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Okay, a good article. I'm surprised this hasen't been created already, as Zoggs is quite a well-known company in the swimming world. Anyway, I think you should try and add more categories to the article (I don't think the 'Swimming equipment' category is related to the article much, maybe something like 'swimming equipment manufacturers' or something like that would be better, if such a category exists). Also please try and add some more references that are not the official site, as this helps to increase overall the reliability of the article's references - maybe something like a magazine article or book. Hope this helps! Good luck with the article, I am glad it is finally being created. If you have any questions please send me a message at my talk page. Thanks! Chevy monte carlo - alt 11:41, 28 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

e.g. User:Example/Lipsum or Cats or http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Example/Lipsum

Will this page be linked to the link already noted on Sinai Palestine campaign page?

~~RoslynSKP (talk) 08:23, 28 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Leaky bucket/rewrite

I have put a proposed rewrite of the leaky bucket page at Leaky bucket/rewrite. The leaky bucket page has been flagged with "factual accuracy is disputed" since March 08. I can see what the problem with the current page is, so I've addressed this in the rewrite. So the article needs to be reviewed: I am concerned that my personal opinion of the description of the leaky bucket given by Tanenbaum leaks through a bit, so this part may need to be reviewed for neutrality. I'd also like advice on when or if the leaky bucket page should be overwritten.

I've also put in a request for assistance on Wikipedia talk:WikiProject Computer networking, as my experience with the leaky bucket algorithm is mostly limited to its use in ATM. So there may also be some additional technical input. I wasn't sure if that was the correct page to raise the issue, but couldn't see a link to anything more appropriate.

~~Graham Fountain 10:01, 28 June 2010 (UTC)

I'm no expert on the subject matter but I haven't seen anything overtly non-neutral, looks good to me. You obviously put a lot of work into this. If there's been no response on the article's talk page for a few days I'd say go ahead, be bold and overwrite the article with your rewrite, the old content will still be there and if someone takes issue they can always invoke WP:BRD. But when you do copy it over remember to delete the original subpage (as we're not really supposed to have subpages in the mainspace ;) -- œ ^™ 14:30, 28 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Isaac Held

I'm trying to put together a series of articles on prominent American atmospheric and oceanic scientists (members of the national academy or recipients of major medals). This is the first, and would certainly benefit from another pair of eyes.

~~Agnana (talk) 13:24, 28 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Nice article! Well-written and well-referenced/sourced. I think it's good to go, though an infobox at some time would be a nice finishing touch. :) Good job! Pianotech (talk) 12:14, 29 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Yeah, maybe something like Template:Infobox scientist or Template:Infobox person might be sutiable to use. Chevy monte carlo - alt 11:48, 30 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I removed the "this is not a Wikipedia article" tag from the page for you. Best of luck with the article. :) Pianotech (talk) 00:47, 1 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:JackieBelding/Shaun_Belding

Please read my new Wikipedia entry and let me know if it follows Wikipedia guidelines on neutrality.

~~JackieBelding (talk) 13:39, 28 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

You need to add additional links and categories to the article, if you can. Chevy monte carlo 05:54, 29 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Augmented_Reality-based_testing

I have writen an article about a new test method that I have coined. Please return if you have any questions!

Regards

Alexander

~~Aandelkovic (talk) 13:43, 28 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

You definitely need to add reliable references and categories to the article. If it's unreferenced, the article is likely to just get deleted for spam. Chevy monte carlo 05:57, 29 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BlackNitride

~~HMBlackNitride (talk) 14:10, 28 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Hmm. I'm assuming you were trying to link to User:HMBlackNitride/Black Nitride. Sorry but I had to delete it as a possible copyright infringement as it was a clear copy-paste of http://www.handmmetal.com/aboutus.html Also, it's readily apparent that you are editing with a conflict of interest and you should probably change your username. -- œ ^™ 14:44, 28 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Paramedicjames/EMSpa%C3%B1ol

This is my first attempt at a Wikipedia article. It is about a system for EMS providers to speak Spanish to Spanish-speaking patients. I really want to make sure I've done it well, and fit in with the community's standards. I appreciate any help you can offer. Thank you.

~~Paramedicjames (talk) 15:47, 28 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Please try and give some more descriptive names to the references and external links in the article, like this - [http://www.apple.com|apple site]. Also please try and add categories to the bottom of the article. Take a look at WP:Categories first and then begin your search at Category:Categories, if you can. Thanks and good luck with the article. Chevy monte carlo 15:05, 29 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks. I have made the changes you suggested and added some outside sources and external links, as well as some content. I am ready to make the article visible, but can't figure out how to do it. I don't see the "move" menu anywhere on the screen. What do I need to do? My account is now six days old and I have made about 14 or 15 edits of other pages, so I should be autoconfirmed. Thanks. >Paramedicjames (talk) 15:47, 28 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kaichou-Kai

I require help and feedback so that I can ensure my page is suitable to become a fully fledged wikipedia article. Any help will be gratefully received.

~~DeanWilliam (talk) 15:49, 28 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

The whole article seems to rely on just one reference. Please try and add additional references if you can, as well as some categories if possible. Also it would be great if you added more links to the article and gave the single external link a name like this - [http://www.loughborough.co.uk|Community website]. I hope you understand, but if you have any more questions, please send me a message here. Thanks a lot! Chevy monte carlo 15:07, 29 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

User:Crude stuff/ETX Capital

Hi, this is my first article and would like feedback on how the article can be improved before posting live. I do look forward to your comments.

~~Crude stuff (talk) 16:05, 28 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I've made some minor improvements to the references and categories (most of the categories were redlinked, which means the page doesn't exist). However, it would be nice to add some categories to the article to replace the old ones that I have removed - you can start searching for suitable categories at Category:Categories. It'd be also great if you added some more links to the article as well, as well as sections. Hope this helps :-) Chevy monte carlo 15:14, 29 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pierre_Jean_Jeanniot

I'd really like to have some feedback on this new article I wrote (my first one)! Thank you.

~~Exergue (talk) 18:43, 28 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Wow, excellent job with the references! I made a couple of formatting changes to the article but other than that I think it's fine. However, I do think you should incorporate the picture into an infobox, such as Template:Infobox person. This would nicely summarise all the key points of the article's subject. I hope you understand, and if you have any more questions please feel free to send me a message here. Thanks! Chevy monte carlo 15:18, 29 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrew_Weinreich

I want to move this draft to the mainspace. I thought I moved it, but there's an alert underneath that indicated it's still a userspace draft. How can I finalize it in the mainspace? I used legitimate sources and have cited them all correctly. Please let me know any feedback.

~~InsideSiliconAlley (talk) 20:59, 28 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Hello! You have to manually remove the userspace code to make the alert go away. Edit your article, and remove the {{Userspace draft|source=ArticleWizard|date=April 2010}} code from the top of the article and it will go away. :) Best, Pianotech (talk) 00:59, 29 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ron_Garmon

Please review my new article on Ron Garmon.

~~Inamorata666 (talk) 23:29, 28 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Great article. You've got categories, an infobox, references and links as well which is all great. However, I do think you need to organise the main parts of the article by adding more sections - maybe something like ==Early life==. I hope you understand - please send me a message if you have any further questions. Thank you! Chevy monte carlo - alt 11:51, 30 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

User:Senra/Little Thetford flesh-hook

New article on an archaeological artifact. General comments welcome.

~~Senra (talk) 23:43, 28 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I know nothing about archaeology, but I see a well-written and well-sourced article that you've put a lot of work into. :) Good job! Best, Pianotech (talk) 00:09, 29 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for the encouraging comments Pianotech. What now? Do you think it is good enough to go to main-space? Is main-space the final frontier? Is the article better than class=start now? I am aiming this article at DYK so any more feedback would be useful. --Senra (talk) 11:36, 29 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I would say it's definitely ready for mainspace. :) You've done your homework and produced a very good and well-sourced article, so go for it! All the best, Pianotech (talk) 11:44, 29 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Pianotech/Cascade_Park,_New_Castle,_Pennsylvania

Greetings, Wikipedians! I've written a new article about Cascade Park, New Castle PA and would like a few pair of eyes to see it before I send it to main space, if you would please? Thanks in advance for your time, review and suggestions. All the best, Pianotech

~~Pianotech (talk) 23:58, 28 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Nice article. Please consider adding picture(s) and links if you can, but even if you didn't bother I think it's fine. Well done! Chevy monte carlo - alt 11:53, 30 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for taking the time to read it and offer suggestions! Will definitely add pictures. I plan on taking some of my own so as not to run into copyright issues. Thanks again for the help :) Pianotech (talk) 12:00, 30 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]