Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2010 June 22

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User:Thetahitianpearlexpert/The_Tahitian_Pearl

I would like some feedback on my article about The Tahitian Pearl. Thank you for your consideration!

Thetahitianpearlexpert (talk) 07:52, 22 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

It is rather short for an article on its own and there is already information on the Tahitian/black pearl contained in the Wikipedia article 'pearl'. You might want to consider editing this. If however you are determined to see it as an article in its own right you need to add some links, some pictures and a map. Hope that helps--Ykraps (talk) 08:14, 22 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I think you should also try improving the article's structure by dividing the article up into more separate paragraphs, with appropriately named sections if possible, to make it easier to read. Chevy monte carlo - alt 12:04, 22 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Rawal_Umed_Singh_Rathore_Barmer

this is about rawal umed singh ji barmer

Abhimanyu singh rathore (talk) 08:31, 22 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Hi, I see you are a new editor to Wikipedia. Welcome! Your article has the basic information there already, but a lot more changes and improvements are needed before the article is good enough to be left alone. I see you have added categories to the article, but some of them don't exist yet. You can see this because some of the links are in red (they are redlinks). Please remove these dead links, as they're aren't useful to the article and the categories themselves are unlikely to be created anytime soon.

Another thing to take a look at is the references. I have made some minor improvements to the links there but as per the guidelines and rules at WP:CITE YouTube cannot be used as a reference. However, you can move the YouTube link to a new section, such as something like 'External links' or something like that. As long as the YouTube link isn't being used as a direct reference for the article, it should be OK.

The infobox (the box at the top right of the article) is good, and you've got at least some links in the article. However, some of the sentences in the article just don't make sense. I appreciate that you may not be brilliant at English but if you could take a look at them and maybe improve them and add links that would be great.

Sorry for the long reply but I hope you will take these points into consideration. Good luck with your article, and if you have any questions or queries please feel free to leave me a message at my talk page. Remember to sign your username by typing the four tildes (~~~~) so I know who posted. Thanks! Chevy monte carlo - alt 12:00, 22 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

User:Pianotech/Master_Piano_Technicians_of_America

This is a new article about Master Piano Technicians of America (MPT). The subject is notable because MPT is an international association of professional piano technicians, and one of two such organizations in the United States (the other being the Piano Technicians Guild, or PTG). Source material came from the MPT website.

Pianotech (talk) 12:03, 22 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Hi, I think it is a nice article at the moment but I think you should try and find sites other than just the official organisation webpage for references, as overall it would make all the references better. I have made a few minor improvements to the reference you already have but if you could add some more reliable references to the article it would be great. For more information, take a look at WP:CITE. Some more things to maybe take a look at is adding more categories (at the moment the categories don't lead to any pages on Wikipedia) and maybe adding more helpful links to the article. Chevy monte carlo - alt 12:08, 22 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the feedback and suggestions! I am new to editing here, and hope I am replying correctly by editing this thread. I will hunt for more sources and edit as I do. Thanks again and please feel free to add/edit/suggest. :) All the best, PT.. --Pianotech (talk) 13:22, 22 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Hey, that's fine to reply like this. It is a discussion forum, after all :) Feel free to make another request when you think you've made some major changes to the article. Chevy monte carlo 15:41, 22 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Good start to an article. I agree with Chevymontecarlo that there need to be more outside references. Also, from looking at your Username, there might be inferences of conflict of interest further along in the process.Shearonink (talk) 14:11, 23 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the reply. :) I'm working on outside references. Trouble is, there is not much out there about MPT, so I can find little beyond their official site. As for my username and a potentical conflict of interest, I respectfully disagree. I am a piano technician by trade, so it follows that I would be interested in and writing about piano technical organizations. :) --Pianotech (talk) 21:43, 23 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Been searching for sources other than the organization site, with little luck. I added references where suitable. I'm still trying to figure out how to add categories. Might this article be publish-ready as a stub while I continue working on it? Thanks... Pianotech (talk) 02:03, 24 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Switchboard_of_Miami

I created this article about a month ago, and received feedback that I needed to include criticisms in order to maintain a more neutral point of view. I have done so.

As is typical, my article was a "new unreviewed article" when I moved it from my user space to the title "Switchboard of Miami". But because no one actually made edits to my article that tag was never removed. The problem now is that I see there is a new tag that says my article is on my work in progress page, even though the title remains the same: wiki/Switchboard_of_Miami

What should I do now? How can I "go live" now if the page has already been moved to the Switchboard_of_Miami name? I'm a little lost.

Thank you.

GiancarloRusso (talk) 13:28, 22 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

See your talk page... ~ QwerpQwertus · Contact Me · 01:38, 23 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Penguin_Collectors_Society

Please could someone take a quick look at a new page I have created about the Penguin Collectors Society. I think it's okay, so if you agree then please remove the "new unreviewed article" template box at the top. Many thanks, James.

Jpardey01 (talk) 17:38, 22 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Hello Jpardey. On the whole I think the article is generally well-written (very interesting stuff), but you should probably find some more outside references to help the notability factor. 3 of the citations you use are from Penguin Collectors Society's publications. I just Googled the PCS full name and got some viable possible source-hits on the Web, Google News and GoogleBooks areas.Shearonink (talk) 14:24, 23 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Hello Shearonink, and apologies for the slow response, I'm been trying to figure out how to 'talk' so I hope that editing this page is the correct way of doing it? The references I use from PCS publications are primary references 'from the horse's mouth', so to speak. Other possible references such as Google News and GoogleBooks are secondary references in that - where they use references at all - they are also from PCS publications. So it seems that using these would dilute the notability factor rather than help it?

If no one objects I will now remove the "new unreviewed article" template box at the top of the PCS page. Many thanks,

Jpardey01 (talk) 08:06, 26 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

User:Nyrl_Anizee/Albert_Arthur_Allen

Here it is with 3 sources. Since he was photographing naked women, should I or should I not put complimenting photos to go with it?

Nyrl Anizee (talk) 18:03, 22 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

You seem to have had it deleted - is it in mainspace now? ~ QwerpQwertus · Contact Me · 22:58, 22 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Looks like it was removed for copyright issues.--SPhilbrick T 16:44, 26 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

User:Wendyfables/DiamondGrindingofPavement

Here is a newly created article about Diamond grinding of pavement. Please review and make any suggestions or comments. I will be int he process of obtaining permission to use photos on the page, as well. Thank you in advance!!

ps...i also recognize that the title will be Diamond grinding of pavement without the caps on each word.

Your signature has already been added! -->Wendyfables (talk) 19:31, 22 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Good job! I changed the name to "Diamond grinding" though because that's that process' name, not necessarily of pavement. ~ QwerpQwertus · Contact Me · 21:17, 22 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Excellent article. You've done a particulary good job with the references, but there's not very many in the first part of the article (A bit picky, I know, but you need the whole article covered if you can). Apart from that, well done! The rest of the article is excellent. Chevy monte carlo - alt 12:11, 23 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you very much! I added a few references towards the beginning just to beef it up more, so I will move this to the mainspace now. Again, thank you for reviewing and your comments. 24.172.221.186 (talk) 17:58, 24 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

St_Vincents_Hall

please provide feedback on this first article of mine

Ericfrances (talk) 20:22, 22 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

You should probably try to make it a more neutral and add a few more reliable-third-party references which will prove it's notability, but other than that, it looks pretty good!~ QwerpQwertus · Contact Me · 21:30, 22 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

User:Melissalynnehiller/American_Jewish_Museum

I'd love some feedback on my very first article. It's a piece about the American Jewish Museum, a contemporary Jewish art museum in Pittsburgh, Pa. Any comments, suggestions, etc. would help. Thank you in advance!

Melissalynnehiller (talk) 20:58, 22 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Looks good, but you might want to add more to the summary and if you can, a picture. Good job though! ~ QwerpQwertus · Contact Me · 22:54, 22 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Gary Moffet

Have just completed a small article on musician Gary Moffet who is mentioned in Wikipedia article on rock band April Wine. As a member he is added in several places within the April Wine article but no redirecting article exists on him. I believe in the relevance of an article on Gary Moffet. I am however having trouble understanding how to format the article so the added references appear in the proper wikipedia display. Also how does one highlight the relevant artists associated with his work as they appear in other wikipedia articles? Can I go live with the article as it appears in it's current format? Thank You

Wingsoflove (talk) 21:47, 22 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I wikilinked the names of other artists for you. Clcik on the edit tab to see exactly what I did.
I fixed the See Also links
I added the code so that references will show up correctly. I fixed the first one for you, see WP:CITE and footnotes for more help.
I personally find it very helpful to use the optional citation gadget. To install, go to "My preferences", select the rightmost tab "Gadgets", the check the box next to refTools (in the Editing gadgets section). Once installed, it will add a new button "Cite" to your editing toolbar. Click on it to add a citation. Makes it much easier.--SPhilbrick T 16:57, 26 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

User:Wingsoflove/Gary Moffet

(I'm so new at this, I get it now, I've added the link..) Have just completed a small entry on musician Gary Moffet who appears in Wikipedia article on rock band April Wine. As a long time member he is mentioned in several places in the Wikipedia article but there is no link up to an article on him. I believe in the relevance of an entry on Gary Moffet. I am having trouble understanding how to format the references to appear in the proper wikipedia display. Also wish to have the artists associated with his work linked to their own wikipedia articles. How do I go about doing this? Do I simply submit and will that formatting be corrected? Thanks for the help.

Wingsoflove (talk) 23:29, 22 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Not a bad start, but there are a few issues with the article. You need to integrate the references into the body of the article (see this for more details). Also, I you could place a greater emphasis on the notability of the subject. -Reconsider ! 12:13, 23 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

User:Wingsoflove/Gary Moffet Are you asking how to make links like this? When in the edit mode, there should be a tool bar at the top of the page. The first two icons are a B and an I respectively for bold and italic. The next icon is a chain. This is for adding links. Highlight the word, or words, you wish to link, click on the icon and choose the page you wish to link to. It will tell you whether the page exists or not. The fifth icon on the toolbar is a book and is used to insert references. When you click on this make sure your cursor is in the correct place. The reference you type in will automatically appear at the foot of the page.
With regards to the article itself: It is a bit short. You could add some info about where he went to school, what he did for a living before getting into the music biz, early bands he was in, what he's doing now etc. Oh, and the year he was born! :). I am afraid that I know nothing about the artist or April Wine, other than they are obviously big fans of Slade. I saw them live by default at a festival (Donnington I think). Anyway I hope that helps--Ykraps (talk) 09:02, 26 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

C-programming

We had an overview of C its characteristics, the Elements in C starting from the Character set to the delimiters, key words, identifiers, constants and variables. We have seen the character set the letters, digits, the whit spaces and special characters. Identifies and variable which are used to hold values and constants whose value remain the same during the program execution and definition of this compiler and interpreter. A compiler and interpreter both of them convert the program into a form that is understandable to the system. Compiler does it all at once, the interpreter does so line by line and that is the difference between the two. So that is the basic elements of C we still have some more to cover but in this session we complete with the basic elements that are used with the program and why it is called the middle level language and why a structured language. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Surendrankr (talk • contribs)

Feedback: nice information, poor encyclopedia article. It's trying to be a stand-alone wide-ranging teaching essay rather than a focused article on a single topic. We already have lots of articles on many of the covered areas, with cites and wikilinks, so this is at best an uncited content-fork with poor tone. Have a look at WP:Your first article for a starting point to see why this article in its present form (and probably ever, I'm afraid) is problematic. Wikipedia is not a free webhost for you to run tutorial sessions. Feel free to refer your students to articles on topics of interest and add (with citations) additional information to them so all readers can benefit. DMacks (talk) 00:20, 23 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Firstly, learn wiki markup if you actually want to publish here! Why did you use external format for the link in the section title? Wikibooks is the proper place for instruction manuals. — RHaworth (talk · contribs) 12:10, 23 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I appreciate you're inexperienced but there's a few things you need to learn. The information's there definitely but it's just the structure and tone that needs work. It's more like an instruction manual than an encyclopedia article, from the looks of it. I think that it either requires a ton of work or be moved elsewhere. Sorry :( Chevy monte carlo - alt 12:14, 23 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]