Wikipedia:Peer review/Zoo TV Tour/archive1

Zoo TV Tour

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I've listed this article for peer review because… I would like to nominate this article for Featured Article status, but I feel it's a little too soon after its Good Article promotion, and I would like to identify/address any outstanding issues that may exist. As this was one of the most well-covered rock tours in history, the article is lengthy and covers nearly every aspect of this tour. This includes musical, technical, and political topics. As such, I want to make sure that the article is readable and comprehensible by an everyday reader (e.g. aiming for generality). I'm not worried about the article not being broad in coverage or missing any key points - rather, I'm interested in making sure the article is cohesive, and offers the proper amount of detail.

Thanks, Y2kcrazyjoker4 (talk) 20:27, 26 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Note to Y2kcrazyjoker4: Peer review is backlogged at the moment, which could mean delays of up to two weeks before articles can be reviewed. You can help, by choosing one of the articles in the backlog, and reviewing it. Please consider doing this, so that delays are minimised.

Brianboulton (talk) 23:41, 30 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Ruhrfisch comments: This looks pretty good to me - seems comprehensive and generally well written. Here are some mostly nit-picky suggestions for improvement.

In the lead, perhaps link dichotomous to Dichotomy in The tour's concept was inspired by dichotomous television programming...? It is not that common of a word.
Bono's personas in the lead are listed in quotation marks - per WP:MOSQUOTE things in direct quotes usually need a ref.
In the lead would it make sense to note that the arenas are indoors and the stadiums are outdoors in After the first two legs of the tour took place in [indoor] arenas, the final three legs mostly visited [outside] stadiums and were branded as "Outside Broadcast", "Zooropa", and "Zoomerang/New Zooland", respectively. Also, did the first two legs have their own names?
Could this sentence be rewritten to avoid using tour twice in one sentence: The tour was seen by approximately 5.3 million people and was the highest-grossing tour in North America of 1992. Perhaps something like Approximately 5.3 million people saw Zoo TV, which was the highest-grossing tour in North America of 1992.?
I would say that the Lovetown Tour was in support of Rattle and Hum, Their 1989 Lovetown Tour did not visit the United States...
Add the year to On 14 June, the first tour production meeting was held, ...?
I would add the year(s) for the War Tour in The Zoo TV stages were designed by Willie Williams, U2's stage designer since the War Tour.
Per the MOS, this needs metric units too The set was expanded to include a 248 by 80-foot stage... The {{convert}} template does this {{convert|248|by|80|ft|m|adj=on}} gives 248-by-80-foot (76 by 24 m)
Same for the various inch size speakers (need meters) and the weight of the stage - assume it is short tons
Poland is a country, the rest are cities - is the city in Poland known (Warsaw?) McGuinness had planned larger outdoor concerts in Berlin, Turin, Poland, and Vienna to help the tour break even...
Could this be made clearer? The difficulty of assembling the large outdoor production and the destruction of the largest screen in a windstorm delayed the official leg-opening Giants Stadium show by a day only six days beforehand.[48][49] (6 days beforehand is murky)
In the Main set section, the article uses {{cquote}} but according the documentation at Template:Cquote this is for pull quotes only, and this should probably use {{blockquote}} instead.
Is is MacPhisto or Mr. MacPhisto (sp)?
I would mention that the Pixies were an opening act before the Impact and legacy section
This has 50 kB of readable prose - I am not sure how concert tour articles are organized - could the 5 tables of tour dates be split off into a separate list article? I also thought the personas section seemed fluffiest if something needs to be trimmed back a bit.

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). I do not watch peer reviews, so if you have questions or comments, please contact me on my talk page. Yours, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 03:46, 19 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]