Wikipedia:Peer review/William Windsor (goat)/archive1

William Windsor (goat)

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A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for May 2009.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because…

I think that this quirky article is of encycopaedic interest; it currently has significant media coverage regarding the recent retirement (e.g. here), so sources are available. I'm working hard to improve it as quickly as possible, and seek assistance and advice. Note, I am making efforts to source images (I've contacted the MoD, and await feedback from them). As I am pretty much the only contributor so far, I would most appreciate people who were prepared to dive in and help improve it. Cheers, Chzz ► 17:22, 22 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks, Chzz ► 17:22, 22 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Comments by Jafeluv

"Goat in the military" is linked to military mascot in the lead, however later it's stated that Billy "is not a mascot". Change to link to military animal?

No longer linked in lede Chzz ► 03:12, 15 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

"Billy — Army number 25232301[5] — is..." em dash should be unspaced. See WP:EMDASH.

Done Chzz ► 03:12, 15 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

"Image:Taffy the IV.jpg" has nothing to do with William Windsor. Maybe move to military mascot?

I think it adds background, so I'll leave it for now. Chzz ► 03:12, 15 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

A cropped image might be better for the lead. The topic of the article only covers about 25% of the current image.

I understand your concern, but I think that the image gives context, and is attractive and interesting, with the regimental outfit of the goat master. Chzz ► 03:12, 15 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

"William Windsor (known as Billy) [...] was a lance corporal..." Using past tense in the first sentence implies that the subject is deceased. The article should start with "William Windsor (known as Billy) is..."

I disagree; he was a lance corporal, and is now retired. I think that the article makes it clear that he is alive. Chzz ► 03:12, 15 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

There were couple of instances of the same reference being cited two or three times in the same sentence. At least for me, it's distracting to have so many citations in the text where one would be sufficient. Done Chzz ► 03:12, 15 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

"The tradition of having goats in the military originated in 1775[2] when a wild goat walked onto the battlefield in Boston[2] during..."
"Three months later, on 20 September[5] at the same parade ground,[5] Billy regained his rank during the Alma Day parade which celebrates the Royal Welsh victory in the Crimean War.[5]"
"Billy — Army number 25232301[5] — is not a mascot, but a ranking member of the regiment;[1] since joining in 2001,[5] he has served overseas, and has met royalty.[1]" – Wouldn't having [1][5] at the end of the sentence be enough?
"The deployment to Cyprus with the 1st Battalion was Billy's first overseas posting,[7] and despite being ordered to keep in line, he refused to obey.[7]"
"He was reported through the chain of command, accused of disobeying a direct order,[12] and following a disciplinary hearing was demoted from lance corporal to fusilier.[12][1]"
"At one time a royal goat was "prostituted"[8] by being offered for stud services by the regiment's serving goat major to a Wrexham goat breeder.[8]"
"court-martialled under the lesser charge of "disrespect to an officer"[8] and reduced in rank.[8]"

Good luck with the article! Jafeluv (talk) 11:05, 25 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Yes, I see that you mean. Mea culpa; remnants from sourcing bits from different articles and stitching together. Definitely, I will take these comments on board when improving the article further. Thank you. Chzz ► 06:51, 26 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]