Wikipedia:Peer review/Why Does It Hurt So Bad/archive1
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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I would like to improve this article. I feel that it can improve a lot more. Maybe, someday the article can become a FA.
Thanks, Novice7 | Talk 15:26, 29 December 2010 (UTC)
Finetooth comments: This looks good, well-written, broad in coverage, well-sourced, and well-illustrated. I have a very small list of suggestions for further improvement.
- "Babyface and Houston recorded songs for the album along with many other African-American female singers." - Slightly smoother might be: "Babyface, Houston, and many other African-American female singers recorded songs for the album."
- Done
- "Now, I'm ready to sing not only the joys of things, but the pains of things, also," Houston added. - I'd recommend "explained" instead of added because "added" suggests that she was responding to Willman.
- Done
- The last paragraph of the "Reception" section mentions different issues on different dates. That made me wonder just what an "issue" is and why there would be more than one. Should "issue" be linked to something or briefly explained?
- Issue is the magazine's copy, for a particular date. I linked it to Wikitionary.
- The dab tool at the top of this review page finds three links in the main text that go to disambiguation pages instead of their intended target.
- Done! All fixed.
- I'd suggest moving inline citation 21 up to just after the two column titles instead of putting it in its own line on the lower left in the "Credits and personnel" section. I'm assuming that the citation applies to both columns.
- I moved the citation to the top (above the two columns).
- Since you are thinking of nominating at FAC at some point, be sure to look at some of the single-song FAs listed at WP:FA#Music. You probably have already done that, but I thought I should mention it, just in case.
- I will. And thank you for such a wonderful review. Novice7 | Talk 08:41, 3 January 2011 (UTC)
I hope these suggestions prove helpful. If so, please consider reviewing another article, especially one from the PR backlog at WP:PR; that is where I found this one. I don't usually watch the PR archives or check corrections or changes. If my comments are unclear, please ping me on my talk page. Finetooth (talk) 23:51, 2 January 2011 (UTC)