Wikipedia:Peer review/Washington Park Race Track/archive1

Washington Park Race Track

I've listed this article for peer review because I would like to nominate this for WP:GA and have been told to get a peer review first.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/tcfkaWCDbwincowtchatlotpsoplrttaDCLaM) 23:08, 18 October 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Review by Jeff

This needs a lot of work to make it a GA, and I won't restrict my comments only to things necessary for successful GA. The major issue is the coverage; the article needs expansion to include more details. Were there any famous horses that raced here? Was any particular year notable? How about giving more details about the track's later years? The content feels thin.

I have found a famous track President. and some details of the organization.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:LOTD) 21:35, 25 November 2007 (UTC)[reply]
"Washington Park Race Track is the name of a former horse racing track that was originally located in the location now occupied by the Washington Park Subdivision of the Woodlawn community area, in Chicago, Illinois and then was relocated in Homewood, Illinois" Run on. How about:

"The Washington Park Race Track was a popular horse racing venue during the late 19th and early 20th centuries (better yet, just fill in the years) originally located in...." Just simplify the sentence, the original sounded awkward.

How is this?--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/tcfkaWCDbwincowtchatlotpsoplrttaDCLaM) 23:45, 23 October 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Intro should also be expanded, especially after the article is expanded.Y--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/tcfkaWCDbwincowtchatlotpsoplrttaDCLaM) 23:35, 23 October 2007 (UTC)[reply]
"It has always been common to build special facilities for sporting events and public assembly in the Chicago parks." Not really in the neutral tone I usually read on wp and a weak opening sentence.Y--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/tcfkaWCDbwincowtchatlotpsoplrttaDCLaM) 23:39, 23 October 2007 (UTC)[reply]
"was the second highest awarding race in the country" highest awarding? Y--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/tcfkaWCDbwincowtchatlotpsoplrttaDCLaM) 15:47, 3 November 2007 (UTC)[reply]
"The club operated the $150,000 track" seems out of placeY--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/tcfkaWCDbwincowtchatlotpsoplrttaDCLaM) 15:42, 3 November 2007 (UTC)[reply]
"After Hempstead Washburne was elected mayor in 1892" mayor of chicago?Y--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/tcfkaWCDbwincowtchatlotpsoplrttaDCLaM) 22:30, 23 October 2007 (UTC)[reply]
"he went on a reform binge" binge?Y--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/tcfkaWCDbwincowtchatlotpsoplrttaDCLaM) 22:30, 23 October 2007 (UTC)[reply]
In the new track section, the timeline seems out of order and poorly integrated.Y--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/tcfkaWCDbwincowtchatlotpsoplrttaDCLaM) 23:24, 23 October 2007 (UTC)[reply]
It might be nice to have a map showing the locations of the tracks. Is there a master map used for the Chicago wikiproject showing all the suburbs?

This needs some work on the prose too because the strings of short sentences make for a choppy read. Once the article has been expanded and worked over some more I would be happy to take another look. Jeff Dahl (Talk • contribs) 00:06, 19 October 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Please see automated peer review suggestions here. Thanks, APR _t 12:38, 21 October 2007 (UTC)[reply]