Wikipedia:Peer review/Waiting (2015 film)/archive1

Waiting (2015 film)

I've listed this article for peer review because I intend to take it to FAC (sooner or later, maybe a little later after all). Comments to improve and possibly expand the article are welcomed.

Thank you in advance! NumerounovedantTalk 15:37, 21 January 2017 (UTC)

Comments from Kailash

Lede

• "Produced by Priti Gupta and Manish Mundra under the banner of Ishka Films and Drishyam Films" - respectively? Just curious, so I asked this.
• "an upcoming untitled project" - I'd prefer "upcoming" be left out, since it is rarely used in past tense.
• "the film score, which was released in May 2016, under the label of Zee Music Company" - I think it is irrelevant to go too in-depth on the film score/soundtrack in the lede section of a film article. This should typically be done in soundtrack/score articles.
• "The film had its world premiere at the Dubai International Film Festival on 11 December 2015 to positive reviews from critics." This should be in the beginning of the third para. My rule about film lede sections has always been, "Para 1: introduce the film, its cast and premise"; "Para 2: Behind the scenes"; "Para 3: The film's premiere/release and reception".
• "The film had released theatrically on 27 May 2016, with A-certification from the censor board" - Unsourced. Also, why did receive the same? We don't just add information on censor board certificates per WP:FILMRATINGS.
• "The film, however, was an average grosser at the box office, collecting a total of ₹39 million (US$580,000) during its theatrical run." - But the BO section reads, "₹40 million". Since India is notorious for not having sources providing definitive BO figures, I suggest you attribute the earnings to the source.

More comments coming soon... Kailash29792 (talk) 05:57, 22 January 2017 (UTC)

Cast

• Please make sure this list complies with WP:FILMCAST. If the actors are sourced elsewhere in the article they need not be sourced here.

Production

• Actor names should be de-linked in this section to avoid WP:OVERLINK (linked in the lead, infobox, plot, cast and now this?! It's definitely overlinking.)
• IMO, "Development and casting" should be renamed. Perhaps simply "development" is fine?

Soundtrack and reception

• Simply naming this section "Soundtrack" is fine. Reviews should be in a separate para.

Done Everything up untill here. NumerounovedantTalk 04:11, 24 January 2017 (UTC)

Reception

• Is it that Indian critics are under the "India" section, and non-Indian critics are under "Overseas"? Or are these sections divided on the basis of the publications' countries? Because I see The Huffington Post appearing under "India", and Gautaman Bhaskaran under "Overseas".

Impressive work so far. Do please see that the links are working through Checklinks. If not, please replace them with archives. Kailash29792 (talk) 11:58, 22 January 2017 (UTC)

@Kailash29792: Thanks a lot for your comments, they are greatly appreciated. I have arranged the section according to venues, reviews that were given at the various international film festival are under overseas section, and the ones that came after the theatrical these in India are under the other. NumerounovedantTalk 04:11, 24 January 2017 (UTC)

Comments from Pavanjandhyala

• Can we have a better source for the poster other than IMDB?
• When you mention the director as the co-writer, the other co-writers should be mentioned in quick succession.
• "Waiting revolves around the relationship between two people..." — better to say "Waiting focuses on..."
• Is the release of soundtrack and score in May 2016 really important to mention in the lead?
• "The film was also screened at the closing gala of the London Asian Film Festival, where Menon won the Best Director Award, and was released theatrically in India on 27 May 2016." — Too long. Can be comfortably split into two for better glow.
• "Pre-production work began in July 2014, when the film was picked up by Mundra, a Dubai based film producer" — any formal equivalent for "picked up"?
• Information about writing in the first two paragraphs of Development section is uneven and needs to be available in a single paragraph.
• Mention the year for Lost In Translation.
• Manirathnam is the name of Suhasini's husband. As per the naming conventions, it is actually advisable to use Suhasini only.
• "Rajat Kapoor played Niruapm Malhotra, a doctor at the Kochi Hospital" -- Nirupam? Niruapm?
• Malyali --> Malayali
• "the" is not really required before assistance.

More to follow.... Pavanjandhyala (talk) 15:40, 25 January 2017 (UTC)

@Pavanjandhyala: I don't think that there's a better source than the one available for the poster. Fixed the rest (hopefully). NumerounovedantTalk 16:33, 27 January 2017 (UTC)

Actually, there is: IMP Awards. Kailash29792 (talk) 16:43, 27 January 2017 (UTC)

I am afraid that I am not familiar with the file usage policy of the listed source. NumerounovedantTalk 18:29, 27 January 2017 (UTC)