Wikipedia:Peer review/Vladimir Teplyakov/archive1

Vladimir Teplyakov

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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because… I want to improve this article, but the GAN backlog is so large that I don't expect my article to be reviewed soon.

Thanks, Slon02 (talk) 03:59, 18 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Note to nominator: Due to a shortage of reviewers, peer reviews are being delayed for up to two weeks. It will help to speed things up if you can find time to review one article from the backlog list, which appears on the WP:PR page. Thanks. Brianboulton (talk) 23:21, 22 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Finetooth comments: This is interesting but may not be broad enough in coverage to advance to GA. Could anything be added about Teplyakov's early life, family life, or publications? I suppose it's difficult to find reliable sources, but the existing article is pretty thin. Here are a few other suggestions:

Abbreviations: Most abbreviations should be spelled out as well as abbreviated on first use like this: radio frequency quadrupole (RFQ). After that, the shorthand by itself will make sense to all readers. RFQ, SFSR, MeV, IHEP, and RF all fall into this category. RFQ is explained in the main text, but it appears without explanation in the lead. I would spell it out there rather than on second use.

Jargon: Most readers will not be familiar with physics in any great detail. Any special terms should be explained, if possible, in a way that would be understood by a wide audience. Words or phrases in this article that might be clarified include: ion, proton, drift tube, linac, radio frequency quadrupole, and electrode. Some of these could be linked to explanatory articles, while others might need a brief in-text explanation.

Persondata: Biographical articles often include metadata that's invisible except in edit mode but is useful for cataloging and statistical purposes. I added a persondata form to this article and filled in the name and alternate name. A few other details should be added. WP:PERSON has details.

References: The citations are incomplete. Citations to Internet sources should include author, title, publisher, date of publication, url, and date of most recent access if these are all known or can be found. For example, citation 1 should include Cern Courier, and it should include the access date.

Models: WP:FA#Engineering and technology has a few biographies that might give you ideas about how to improve or expand this one.

I hope these suggestions prove helpful. If so, please consider reviewing another article, especially one from the PR backlog at WP:PR. That is where I found this one. I don't generally check corrections after my reviews because it's too time-consuming. Please ping me on my talk page if my comments are unclear or if questions arise. Finetooth (talk) 17:11, 26 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]