Wikipedia:Peer review/Visual impairment in art/archive1
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I've listed this article for peer review because I have created the article and wish to greatly expand and improve the standard of the article.
Thanks, DepressedCloud (talk) 14:04, 24 March 2021 (UTC)
Comments by Firefangledfeathers
[edit]Thank you for creating this article! As a general disclaimer, I am not a subject matter expert or an experienced peer reviewer.
- Sources
- Too much reliance on Ref #1 (larsdatter.com) which is a self-published blog.
- Whole books are cited for specific claims; page numbers needed
- Lead
- This could probably use a re-write. The first sentence in particular is very POV and makes a bold, unsourced (but probably true) claim.
- Lead includes sentence fragments
- Representation in Art
- Many words unnecessarily capitalized
- Titles of works should be italicized
- Multiple unsourced claims. Examples:
- Representation of Blind people in Medieval Art often is displayed through the use of including dogs on a leash.
- Diego Velázquez [...] portraying her with her eyes closed.
- This was common amongst images of the blind in the 18th Century.
- Whole section should be based more off of conclusions made in reliable, secondary sources. A list of examples can be helpful, but I don't think this section is best represented by the current list format.
I'm hoping to have more feedback soon. Good luck! Firefangledfeathers (talk) 06:31, 6 April 2021 (UTC)