Wikipedia:Peer review/Victoria Forester/archive1

Victoria Forester

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because it has just been created.

Thanks, Abcassionchan 10:13, 4 September 2010 (UTC)

This isn't the appropriate venue. The article is a shot stub and there's nothing to do with it except expand it. ResMar 19:38, 4 September 2010 (UTC)

Agreed. Without more content to grind up, there's really nothing we can say. Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs^(talk) 19:54, 4 September 2010 (UTC)

Ruhrfisch comments: Here are some suggestions for improvement based on the short article here.

• The biggest problem with the article as it exists now is a lack of references. My rule of thumb is that every quote, every statistic, every extraordinary claim and every paragraph needs a ref. See WP:CITE and WP:V
• I also note that alll of the refs in the article now are either from the author's website, or her publisher's website, or is a ref to her book. The article needs more independent, third-party reliable sources. Quote reviews of her books, interviews with her, profile articles, etc. Please see WP:RS
• The article is very short and needs to be expanded. What is her birthdate (not just year)? What about her parents? WHat is her sister's name and is she older or younger? Other siblings? When did she attend university? When were her films released? When did she marry and have her child? What are the names of her husband and daughter? What kind of animal is Rufus? etc.
• At the same time, some of the material in the article is so trivial as to be non-encyclopedic. Does it really help the reader to know the number of guests she registered each day at a hotel she briefly worked at? Or is the detail on her childhood dreams needed (and what is the source of this material)?
• The article has many short (one or two sentence) paragraphs and sections that disturb the flow of the prose. These should be combined with others or expanded
• The article has several spelling and grammar errors and could use a copyedit once it is expanded. Here are a few examples of many problems.
  • One plans or writes "in detail", the article "a" is singular, but "Both" and "swimmers" are plural Both planned in detailed their lives as a future world famous synchronized swimmers. As Forester grew older, she would write out her ever-changing careers in details.
  • "doing all sorts of things" She spend her days imagining doing sort of things and wrote about it.
  • It is spelled "graduated" and one generally studies at a university and graduates from it She studied and graducated in the University of Toronto.
  • One works as a desk clerk, not as the desk During that time when Forester was in university, she worked as a front desk of Sheraton Hotel in Toronto.

Hope this helps. I do not watch peer reviews, so if you have questions or comments, please contact me on my talk page. Yours, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 15:06, 20 September 2010 (UTC)

Thanks for the help. :)

Abcassionchan 03:30, 25 September 2010 (UTC)