Wikipedia:Peer review/United Abominations/archive1

United Abominations

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I've listed this article for peer review because I have worked on it the last couple of days and plan to take it to FAC. This is the first album article I have rewritten.

Thanks, —Burningclean _{[Speak the truth!]} 04:29, 5 February 2008 (UTC)[reply]

A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR _t 15:16, 5 February 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Vox Humana 8'

Hiya - found a number of issues of style, spelling and grammar in the article: I have tried to fix all of them. If there's anything obvious I've missed, fix it yourself - if there's anything you disagree with, revert and take it up with me.--Vox Humana 8' 00:08, 11 February 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I would generally agree with J Milburn's comments on the matter. This is a long way off GA, never mind FA. Still, what are we here for? We're here to get it there...--Vox Humana 8' 14:19, 11 February 2008 (UTC)[reply]

J Milburn

Not a fan of Megadeth, at all, but happy to go ahead and give a read and a review. Also, I found myself being really picky about phrasing, so I'll just go ahead and change that myself. Article has also been edited by User:Vox Humana 8', who I was talking to while writing this review.

I'd remove that banner- it's ugly, and honestly don't think it would help improve the article.
If we can't have a link for the Kerrang! review, can we have a ref?
"at the time" At what time?
"When Mustaine was asked in an interview why the lyrics" Interview with who, from where?
"When Lomenzo was asked" Who's Lomenzo?
"Big Fish Encinitas, California and Backstage Productions" Where or what is Backstage Productions?
"The recording line up comprised" Repetition of 'line up' sounds poor.
"Appearing at track 11, "A Tout le Monde (Set Me Free)" is a remake of "A Tout le Monde" originally appearing on the 1994 album Youthanasia." Sorry, why are we suddenly talking about that?
Not sure the "Gears of War" stuff belongs in that section...
"Mustaine stated "We're putting" Where did he state that?
"The completed album was leaked on to the internet in April 2007" Ref?
"received its official release on May 14, 2007. The first pressing of the album, released exclusively in Japan on May 8, contained a cover of the Led Zeppelin song "Out on the Tiles".[11] The album was released internationally on May 15 and a day later in the United States." Wow, what? Slow down. Chronological order. It was released in Japan on the 8th, then [where?] on the 14th, then somewhere on 15th ('internationally' isn't fair- you're writing too much from a US perspective- 'internationally', to me, generally means 'in Germany'...) and finally, the US on the 16th. Right?
"Finland, five in Canada" Can we have links to those countries, please?
"which will last until March 2008." Is due to- let's not say things are guaranteed to happen.
"Lacuna Coil, and" Link?
"prog-worthy chops" Link to progressive metal? I assume that is what is meant? It's late...
I am really not sure about that Mydenrocks interview- as long as we can be certain that it is genuine, we can reference the comments of Mustaine, but who's this Dave Myden character? Just some dude with a Blogspot account?

This really isn't your best, FA is a long, long way off. It really is lacking something, and I'm not sure what. Or maybe it's just me. Or maybe it's just because it's Megadeth. :) Seriously though, I wouldn't nominate for GA quite yet, nevermind FAC. Have a look around for some more sources, see what else you can find. There must be loads of good sources for something like this. J Milburn (talk) 00:09, 11 February 2008 (UTC)[reply]

This is my first album article, so I don't quite have the hang of it yet. I am not nominating it for anything yet. I will work on this in a little while. —Burningclean _{[Speak the truth!]} 18:09, 11 February 2008 (UTC)[reply]

M3tal H3ad

Don't start the body of the article with a quote, move the unsigned thing before the quote
~~When Lomenzo was asked about, you need to introduce him~~

Shouldnt the picture of Cristina be in the section that talks about her?

United Abominations was originally set for an October 2006 release ~~date~~

remove comma after but -Done.

received its official release on May 14, 2007. The first pressing of the album, released exclusively in Japan on May 8, contained a cover of the Led Zeppelin song "Out on the Tiles".[11] The album was released internationally on May 15 and a day later in the United States. A week after its release
starting in Canada opening for Heaven and Hell and Down, then in the U.S.A.,and a North America tour again opening for Heaven and Hell and also touring with Machine Head.

and often stated as a return to form for Megadeth. By who? and it's missing a word after and

gave the album a 7.5 out of ten possible points 7.5 out of 10

All Music Guide and Blabbermouth shouldnt be in italics

About.com reviewer, Chad Bower - it's Chad Bowar

The album was voted the best metal album of 2007 in the March 2008 issue of Guitar World. - by the readers of the magazine

pointing out false accusations as being such - eh?

2008 - lasting - em dash

~~reflist|2~~

That's about it, good work. M3tal H3ad (talk) 02:26, 13 February 2008 (UTC)[reply]