Wikipedia:Peer review/Uncle Tom's Cabin/archive1

Uncle Tom's Cabin

A few months ago I brought this article up to Good Article standards; I'm now trying to turn it into a Featured Article. Because this is a large and complex subject, I could really benefit from others looking at it with unbiased eyes and telling me what needs to be improved. Thanks,--Alabamaboy 01:58, 20 April 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Review by Awadewit

This article was a pleasure to read. It was so nice to read a well-researched and well-written article. Although my comments my look extensive, they are mostly small comments about the writing. Since you stated that you were trying to turn it into an FA, I tried to look at the article with a fairly critical eye.

Uncle Tom's Cabin, or, Life Among the Lowly is a novel by American author Harriet Beecher Stowe which treats slavery as a central theme. - This is an awkward opening sentence. How about something like "Uncle Tom's Cabin, or Life Awmong the Lowly is American Harriet Beecher Stowe's novel about slavery and [insert another theme]."
I would put the publication date of the novel in the first paragraph, even if you have to put it in parentheses after the title.
Stowe, a Connecticut-born teacher at the Hartford Female Academy and an active abolitionist, first published this book on 20 March 1852. - You are trying to pack too much into this sentence - break it up. Also, "this book" should probably be replaced by the title since we have started a new paragraph.
The story focuses on the tale of Uncle Tom, a long-suffering black slave around whose life the other characters—both fellow slaves and slave owners—revolve. - The other characters don't revolve around him, their stories or narratives do, though.
The novel depicts the harsh reality of slavery while also showing that Christian love and faith can overcome even something as evil as enslavement of fellow human beings. - This is a highly sentimentalized novel - don't ignore that in the lead. (Also, "the enslavement.")
The book also created and spread several common stereotypes about blacks, many of which endure to this day. - "spread" is redudant since you have "many of which endure to this day"
The heading "Origins" is a bit vague - could it perhaps be made more precise? Maybe something like "Sources for the novel"?
Is there a reason that sometimes the article uses the term "African-American" (such as the person being mentioned is of African descent) and sometimes uses the term "black"? I just want to make sure that the editors have thought through their choice of words here as these can be highly-charged words.
where he helped other fugitive slaves arrive and become self-sufficient, and where he wrote his memoirs - "arrive" doesn't quite convey the meaning you want - "escape"? "settle"? - it is not clear what you mean; also the "memoir" clause seems tacked on
Henson was one of the first escaped slaves from the United States to write of his experience - what experience? escaping or being a slave or both? explain just a bit more
American Slavery As It Is: Testimony of a Thousand Witnesses, a volume co-authored by Theodore Dwight Weld and the Grimké sisters, is also identified as a source of some of the material. - one-sentence paragraphs are generally not considered sufficient; also "a source of some of the material" for what? the novel? again, just a bit more explanation is needed
Uncle Tom's Cabin was first published as a 40-week serial, Uncle Tom's Cabin; or, Life Among the Lowly published in the National Era, an abolitionist periodical, starting in the 5 June 1851 issue. - too many clauses separated by commas and repetition of "published"
While Stowe questioned if anyone would read Uncle Tom's Cabin in book form, publisher John Jewett of Jewett & Company convinced her to let him do just that. - "that" does not have a clear reference - rephrase for clarity
The book eventually became the bestselling novel in the world during the 19th century (and the second best-selling book after the Bible), with the book being translated into every major language. - dangling modifier
The "Plot summary", to me anyway, is broken into too many subsections. Can you either condense the whole plot summary and make it one section or make fewer subsections?
because he considered that loveable old man to be his good friend - awkward
Mr. Shelby has sold Tom and Harry to the slavetrader Haley - first time we see his name - give both first and last names of Haley
She departs in the night - verb is too tame
Tom and Eva come to relate to one another in a very special way, sharing a deep Christian faith between them - "very special way" is too vague
As Eliza and her husband George Harris, who ran away previously - ran way from where?
As Eliza and her husband George Harris, who ran away previously, attempt to reach Canada, they are cornered by Loker and his men, causing George to shoot Loker. - whole sentence is awkwardly worded - too many clauses; also who is Loker? this is the first we hear of him
After Tom has lived with the St. Clares for two years, Eva grows very ill. - not clear how these two things are related
which renews his resolve to remain faithful with Christ, even unto death - "faithful to Christ"
I don't think that the character descriptions add a lot to the page. Most of the information is a repeat of what is in the plot summary or the later analysis. I would suggest eliminating that section and integrating the leftover information into the plot summary and other sections.
while the book elicited praise from abolutionists - "abolitionists"?
Sometimes the page hyphenates "best-seller" and sometimes not. Choose a consistent style.
Uncle Tom's Cabin outraged people in the American South[11] and was roundly criticized by supporters of slavery. - lack of parallel structure
Reactions ranged from a bookseller in Mobile, Alabama who was forced to leave town for selling the novel[11] to threatening letters sent to Stowe herself (including a package containing a slave's dismembered ear). - lack of parallel structure
led her to create wrong descriptions of the region" - "inaccurate" perhaps?
as evidenced by the novels best-selling status - awkward and missing apostrophe
ocusing Northern anger at the injustices of blacks - "anger on the injustices"
Uncle Tom's Cabin also created great interest in England. - "created" is not the best word here
I would transform your bulletted list of streotypes into prose and perhaps quote from the novel itself.
Could you expand on Gates' interpretation?
I would say that the biggest omission from your description of the novel is a discussion of its style. I see you have read Tompkins, so you are aware of the role of sentimentalism in the novel. Since UTC is a sentimental novel, some explanation of its sentimental style should be given here.
it contains a number of sections and discussions that are clearly disputing Stowe's book and her view of slavery - "that dispute" - it is not a good idea to say "clearly" as it may not be clear to your reader
The "Adaptations" section should also be turned into paragraphs. FAs tend to have very few lists.
Anything linked in the article can be removed from the "See also".
Can you reference specific page numbers in the footnotes? You reference entire chapters or articles a lot of the time.
Could you construct a bibliography out of the most important UTC sources in your notes so that someone coming to this page for research purposes won't have to pore over your notes? See A Vindication of the Rights of Woman, for example.
Are all of those external links absolutely necessary? FAs tend to prune the external links.
Watch out for commas - you need to take out some (in dates) and add some (in prefaratory clauses). Awadewit 04:32, 21 April 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Many, many thanks for your excellent comments. I'll go through them and make the correction and changes you mention. I'll also work on a style section or subsection for the article, along with the bibliography. Thanks again! --Alabamaboy 23:41, 21 April 2007 (UTC)[reply]

I've now made almost all of these changes. I've also added the style section Awadewit mentioned, along with a new themes section to go along with it.--Alabamaboy 23:34, 28 April 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Per WP:PR instructions, articles should not be listed both here and at WP:FAC; please archive this page and replace the talk page template with {{oldpeerreview}} Regards, SandyGeorgia (Talk) 23:10, 29 April 2007 (UTC)[reply]