Wikipedia:Peer review/USS Oklahoma (BB-37)/archive1

USS Oklahoma (BB-37)

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I would like feedback on what needs to be done before I began work on improving the article. Anything that can be found and pointed out to me would be helpful my eventual plan is to submit this for Good Article states. Thanks, Dcheagle 04:13, 10 July 2011 (UTC)

Comments. - Dank (push to talk) 14:11, 10 July 2011 (UTC)

• Do you get any material from Young, Beigel, or Madsen? If so, please cite them. If not, it's better not to mix "Further reading" references in the same end section as the references you rely on. - Dank (push to talk) 14:11, 10 July 2011 (UTC)
• DANFS is often quite good, and it's allowed, but battleship articles on Wikipedia are generally of a high enough quality that we don't need to be copying our text from someone else's webpage. - Dank (push to talk) 14:33, 10 July 2011 (UTC)

Question What is DANFS?--Dcheagle 00:20, 15 July 2011 (UTC)

You, or someone, used a {{DANFS}} template in the Bibliography: This article includes text from the public domain Dictionary of American Naval Fighting Ships. - Dank (push to talk) 00:44, 15 July 2011 (UTC)

Oh ok thanks for the answer.--Dcheagle 00:51, 15 July 2011 (UTC)

Comments

1. Three Medals of Honor, three Navy and Marine Corps Medals and one Navy Cross were awarded to sailors on board the Oklahoma during the attack and one battle star for World War II service. I can see they are both cited but they raise the question why and how as it also says she was sunk within 12 minutes. Is there any detail to expand a bit on this, were the decorations awarded after the sinking when they were aboard Maryland.
2. Father Aloysius Schmitt—was the first American chaplain of any faith to die in World War II. needs a cite
3. Same with Ensign John England had USS England (DE-635) and USS England (DLG-22) named after him.
4. The sections: Presidential escort - Overhauled and re-assigned and Rescuing Americans and refugees in Spain are virtually uncited.
5. The images in the same section are sandwiching the text - suggest moving the Launch on 23 March 1914 image to the construction section.

 Fixed--Dcheagle 11:26, 8 August 2011 (UTC)

1. The details in the inf box should be coved in the text and cited. If not cites are require din the inf box (armaments and armour sections)
2. All the citations to Phister, Jeff; Thomas Hone, Paul Goodyear (2008). "1". Battleship Oklahoma BB-37 need page numbers added
3. All the web link citations need access dates added

 Fixed--Dcheagle 11:47, 8 August 2011 (UTC)

Good start WP:MILHIST have a project team dealing with battleships. Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Operation Majestic Titan who are always glad to help out if required. Jim Sweeney (talk) 10:04, 20 July 2011 (UTC)

• This is actually on my list to work on eventually; my first FA was Nevada, back in 2008. Let me know if I can help. Ed ^{[talk] [majestic titan]} 22:42, 24 July 2011 (UTC)

Sources comments

• The largest inconsistency problem in this article is the mixing of different citation styles. At present, the inline citations use Chicago, whilst the books listed in 'Bibliography' use APA. I do not know how others feel about this issue, but I'd consider using one citation style, even for different types of citations.
• Be consistent in whether you write a "p." before page numbers or not.
• Ref 2: The Battleship in the United States Navy is not in the bibliography.
• Ref 16 needs a comma after 'Breyer 1973'. Eisfbnore • talk 03:40, 14 August 2011 (UTC)