Wikipedia:Peer review/Treehouse of Horror (series)/archive1
Appearance
My hope is to have the article ready for an FAC by mid December, and I think it is close. Either way, any comments and feedback are more than welcome. -- Scorpion0422 03:24, 21 November 2007 (UTC)
Seegoon
[edit]- Here are my thoughts:
The lead
- Why does the first sentence refer to "Simpsons" as opposed to "The Simpsons" - why is "the" not italicised and bolded?
- "These segments usually involve the family" - could "the family" be linked to an appropriate article on the Simpson family themselves?
- "Treehouse of Horror episodes are immensely difficult for the show's staff." - my initial reaction to this sentence was that it felt clunky. Maybe change it to "The writers [and animators, or whoever] regard Treehouse of Horror episodes as particularly difficult", or something similar.
- I think "Monopoly" should be italicised, seeing as it's a featured article and italicises itself in said article. Also make sure to keep this consistent in the merchandising section.
Traditions
- "The warning in the first THOH episode" - "THOH" should be italicised or removed - it's the only time this initialism is used in the entire article.
- "Marge's warnings became a burden to write as the years went on. There was no warning for third and fourth Treehouse of Horrors, but it was revived for "Treehouse of Horror V". After that, Marge's warnings were permanently dropped[12] and the writers didn't make any attempts at reviving them." - this is sluggish.
- "The Tombstone gags were easy to write in the first episode, but like Marge's warnings, they eventually got harder and harder to write, so they were abandoned." - this has been written as though you are one of the writers of the shows. Bear in mind the perspective of the reader.
- "Another part of the reason the tombstones were dropped was because" - this seems to go on a little longer than really necessary.
- "There were no wraparounds for "Treehouse of Horror VI" because they had been cut to make more time for the segments, and for "Treehouse of Horror VII", the writers just did not bother." - careful with your tone here, you sound a tad apathetic.
- "Former executive producer Sam Simon left the show during the fourth season and ever since has been credited in the shows opening as "Sam 'Sayanora' Simon"." - I think it might be worth explaining why; not everyone will know what this translates as.
"The scary names became such a burden to write that they were cut for "Treehouse of Horror XII" and "Treehouse of Horror XIII", but there were many complaints on the internet and Jean realized that the fans quite liked them, so the scary names returned." - again, casual tone from a skewed perspective.
Production
- "Do a ctrl+f and search for "treehouse of horror" and "the simpsons". Every time you come across one, ensure they're italicised. I'd expand this rule to even references.
- "The Treehouse of Horror episodes are difficult to write and hard to animate" - similar to what I said in the first section, consider your perspective.
Reception
- "In 2006 IGN.com published a list of the top ten Treehouse of Horror segments, and they placed "The Shinning" from "Treehouse of Horror V" at the top, saying it was "not only a standout installment of the annual Halloween episode, but of The Simpsons, period."." - first, you don't need a full stop before/after the quotation mark at the end (keep it consistent throughout) and secondly, this needs citation.
I hope this helps. Seegoon (talk) 04:37, 21 November 2007 (UTC)
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 12:42, 22 November 2007 (UTC)
- Have the points from the Semi-Automated Peer Review, or Seegoon (talk · contribs)'s points, been addressed? If so, please note what has been done to address these suggestions, here below. You can use {{done}}, or just comment on it, or something like that. This will make it easier to keep track of. Cirt (talk) 05:43, 30 November 2007 (UTC).
- Yeah, everything has been corrected. -- Scorpion0422 16:12, 30 November 2007 (UTC)
- Have the points from the Semi-Automated Peer Review, or Seegoon (talk · contribs)'s points, been addressed? If so, please note what has been done to address these suggestions, here below. You can use {{done}}, or just comment on it, or something like that. This will make it easier to keep track of. Cirt (talk) 05:43, 30 November 2007 (UTC).